Ora and Ace
by mipela
Summary: Life in the McKenzie -Dawson household moves on and family life with the twins begins to unfold. Some fuzzy and warm moments, some challenging moments too.
1. Chapter 1

**Ora and Ace - The Suspension**

 _ **Here are a few peeps into the lives of our little twins. Apologies to those who did not read my story 'choices', as they are based on that, but hope you enjoy them anyway. (This was going to be a 'one off' but can't resist a few more stories!)**_

"Hi Caroline, would you mind just coming into my office before getting the girls?"

She nodded and walked into Kelly's office. Kelly ran the childcare centre not far from Sulgrave where the twins spent three days a week.

"We had a bit of a situation today Caroline."

"Why what happened, are the girls OK?"

"Yes, yes they're fine, but Mikey Dodds isn't. Earlier this afternoon, Flora bit him on the arm. It was quite a deep bite and we had to call his mother as the kid was inconsolable. As you can imagine, she's not overly impressed."

Caroline could feel the blood rushing to her face, she was on the one hand embarrassed but on the other, defensive, as she knew there would have to be a reason Flora did it.

"Well, do you know how and why it happened?"

"Not really, Flora just kept saying sorry but she wouldn't tell us what happened. We were hoping you could find out. We have to follow these things up as you know."

"Ok well please pass our concern to the Dodds and tell them we'll find out what happened and let you know."

"Caroline, I'm sorry to have to say this, but we'll have to ask you not to bring Flora to childcare until we've worked it out."

"You mean she's suspended?" Caroline said with no small amount of incredulity. "She's only two and a half for God's sake!"

Kelly let a smile come to her and she leaned over to Caroline and whispered "Red tape, you of all people should know about that. Don't worry, just sort it out and all will get back to normal ASAP."

Caroline walked into the playroom and both girls ran to her, "Mama, Mama," she bent down and put her arms round them both and kissed them. "Ora been a naughty girl Mama."

"Yes Gracie I know that, now let's get you home to Mummy and we can all sort this out." Kate was at an in-service at another school, and would be home later than usual.

Once in the kitchen, Caroline sat the girls up at the bench and gave them their afternoon milk and snack. She poured herself a cup of tea and sat up beside them. 'God this is all I need, after the day I've had' she mumbled to herself, as she decided not to start the conversation until Kate got home.

"Mama, I play in the sand with Mikey." Caroline looked at Grace and could almost read in her face that she had some guilt in this little episode.

"Did you darling, why don't we wait for Mummy and then we can all talk about what you did today. Just drink your milk she'll be home soon."

Ten minutes later, Kate arrived home and the girls jumped off their stools and ran to greet her at the door. After hugs and kisses, she walked over to Caroline and kissed her. "How was your day darling?"

"Oh brilliant! Beverley was off sick and so my office was in chaos of course; I didn't realise how much she streamlines things. Anyway, that's the bad news, but now would you like the even worse news?"

Kate laughed. "I can remember saying that to you a few years ago! Go on let me have it."

She whispered discretely, "Flora's suspended from childcare. She bit Mikey Dodds this afternoon."

Kate stood open mouthed for a moment. "Suspended, at two and a half!"

"That's exactly what I said; of course Kelly downplayed it then and said it was just red tape. We have to sort it out with the girls and then let them know before Flora can go back."

"Girls, finish your milk and then come and sit down in the lounge with Mama and me. We need to talk don't we?" Both babies looked very sheepish as they knew that tone in Kate's voice. Against any normal prediction, it turned out that Kate was the disciplinarian. Caroline was too soft on them and it sometimes became a bone of contention between the two mothers.

Caroline poured Kate a cup of tea while she went upstairs to change. She reminded herself of the last time the twins had been naughty and she and Kate had ended up having an argument about the punishment they should have. Kate felt that it should always fit the crime. So when the girls had refused to leave the TV to come and eat dinner, Kate had banned the cartoons for the rest of the evening. This led them to pestering the life out of Caroline to play with them; she felt she was being punished and got quite grumpy as she had a lot of work to do. Kate had chastised her for putting work before her children; this hadn't gone down well at all. So, she decided to take a back seat on this one and just try to be supportive.

"Ok, you two, who wants to tell Mummy what happened at childcare today?"

"I playing in the sand Mummy and Mikey took my spade. Ace push him over and he got all sand in his face."

"Ok so what happened then?"

Grace took over here;" He crying and then he hit Ora with the spade, Ora cry too, I not like that Mummy."

"So what did you do Flora?"

"I bited Mikey, Mummy. Sorry."

Caroline turned away from the situation as she was about to explode laughing. Kate was performing like a barrister in the children's court. Kate flashed a look her way and it clearly said 'don't you dare laugh'. She took a deep breath and turned back to face them all.

"Ok so it seems to me and Mama that you were all a bit naughty today. Flora, you should have told Kelly about Mikey not sharing nicely. Grace you mustn't push people, and we certainly don't bite. "

Caroline interrupted here, "Mikey was naughty too, to take the spade and hit Flora with it." She was not about to let her girls take all the blame. She was extremely protective of their children.

"Yes well Mama is right about that, but we must decide what to do about you two. Mikey's Mummy will sort him out;" another sideways glance at Caroline. "So what shall we do?"

The twins both looked bewildered by this question. Do about what? They'd told their mothers what happened. What else. Then Grace said, "Shall we go and see Grandpa and Granny?"

Caroline spat the tea out of her mouth and against all sane caution began to choke with laughter. This was the green light for the girls and they ran over to Caroline and began to giggle away with her. Kate was furious; as far as she was concerned this was a serious situation. She did not want their children thinking it was alright to behave badly.

"Go up to your room girls please. Mama and I will come up in a moment." The twins crawled their way up the stairs and disappeared into the nursery. "Caroline! What are you thinking; it's not funny. They can't be led to think that they can get away with doing the wrong thing."

Caroline tried her best to calm down and look serious but she was finding it very hard. "I'm sorry, I really am but that was a classic." Kate softened and even smiled. "Well I know where they get all this side stepping from and it's not me."

After composing themselves they went upstairs and explained to the girls that they had acted badly and they were disappointed with them. So this evening there would be no TV and tomorrow they would have to talk to Mikey and his parents and tell them they were sorry. Caroline made a few calls and arranged to all meet at childcare at 8am the following morning.

"Now can we go and see Granny and Grandpa?" Caroline put their coats on and walked them the ten minutes to their cottage while Kate prepared dinner.

"Hello little Grace and Flora" Alan said as he swept them both on to the couch beside him. He loved to cuddle them and tell them stories.

Celia came out of the kitchen and asked why they had been graced with their presence, "It's not like you to come round on a school night love. Are you alright?"

Caroline told them all about what had happened and how she was in the doghouse for laughing at them. "Oh I see so you've slithered out to avoid Kate's wrath then have you?"

After a while, Alan got up and asked the girls if they would like to watch 'Frozen'. "God Alan, no don't offer that, Kate would really kill me if I let them watch a DVD." This is a bad idea she thought and with that she put their coats on again and they walked home.

Dinner was a rather sombre affair as Kate was keen to keep the girls focussed on the fact that they had disappointed their mothers. Later in bed Caroline turned to Kate and bit her ear. "Am I a naughty girl too?" Kate laughed "Yes and I'm suspending all activities until you are punished properly, now go to sleep."

Waking at six o clock, Kate looked over to see Caroline with one little one on one side of her and one on the other, all three of them cuddled up and asleep. She shook her head and thought to herself; 'they sure know how to get around their Mama'.

At 8am promptly, both sets of parents sat around a table with Kelly. The children were in the playroom.

"Ok Kate or Caroline would you like to tell Sue and James what the girls say happened."

Kate relayed all that Flora and Grace had said about the incident looking at Caroline in the hope that she wouldn't chip in; her defensiveness was sometimes not helpful.

Mikey's parents were surprised to hear that he had actually started the problem, apparently that's not the story he gave them. So eventually they brought the children in and Kelly conducted her own investigation with them. It turned out that the girls' version of events was the accurate one. After lots of explaining and saying sorry, the matter was put to rest and Flora was re-instated.

On the way out Caroline pulled Kelly to one side. "Er Kelly, this 'suspension' won't go on her record will it?"

Kelly looked first at Kate and then Caroline. She burst out laughing as did Kate as they shook their heads at the Principal.

Driving home that evening with the twins chattering away in the back, Caroline looked at Kate "How about we have tea on the couch with Frozen; then you can take me to bed and re-instate me from my suspension"

"Sounds good to me; what do you think girls?" Both babies nodded their heads and smiled. "Grandpa and Granny, come too Mummy?"

"Not tonight" was the resounding answer from both front seats.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ora and Ace** -Chapter Two - **Bebly**

 _ **(Thanks for your lovely comments, it has encouraged me to offer another little scenario)**_

Beverley stuck her head around her boss's office door, "Caroline, Lucy just called to see if you would be free to see her today."

"Do you know what it's about?"

"Something to do with the twins."

"My twins?" Beverley nodded. "Oh, OK tell her I can see her in ten minutes."

Lucy was a young dynamic teacher on the Physical Education staff and had already demonstrated that she had innovative ideas. However, Caroline was at a loss as to why she would need to see her about her daughters but had no time to sit and contemplate it.

"Good morning Dr McKenzie, may I come in?" Caroline grinned to herself, the students in particular and a large section of the staff, were obviously over the double barrel McKenzie-Dawson; (after all it was a gob full, as Gillian had pointed out); and now referred to the couple as Mrs McKenzie and Dr McKenzie. It thrilled Kate no end and she regularly pointed it out, when Caroline got too full of herself.

"Come in Lucy, have a seat. Now, what do you want to talk to me about?"

Lucy wriggled a little in her seat, she was conscious that what she was about to ask could be a bit personal.

"You know how we do a module on child care in year nine, I was wondering if you would be willing to let your twins come in for one of my classes as we are about to look at toddlers, two to three years?"

Caroline was a little taken aback. She could see it was a good idea but did she really want to open her very private life up to scrutiny by year nine.

"Oh, I see. Well that's a very good idea, to make it real for the students. However, I would need to think about it and ask Kate if she's OK with it. Can I get back to you? When would this be?"

"Well, if it's convenient, next Monday morning about nine o'clock."

"I'll let you know by Thursday, oh, that's tomorrow isn't it?"

Lucy grinned and assured her that Thursday would be fine. "I'll give you an outline of what I will be saying and then if you're OK I'll open it up for questions. Do you think it would be possible for either you or Kate to be there? I think the twins might be more at ease."

"I'll see what I can do. Thanks Lucy, you're doing a good job, enjoy the rest of your day. Oh, and please call me Caroline." Kate had been tutoring Caroline in 'small talk', trying to encourage her to say something personal and encouraging when staff popped in to see her.

At morning tea break, Caroline went in search of Kate. She found her in the staff room and signalled for her to come outside. She explained what Lucy had asked and said for her to think about it. "We'll talk about it tonight ; but in the meantime, see if you can suss out what she might be going to do."

"Caroline, I haven't got time to scratch myself today let alone conduct a private investigation into Lucy's proposal. It'll be alright, what could go wrong, they're just babies."

Caroline wasn't convinced. The twins had a lot more vocabulary now and said some very personal things in front of people she would rather not hear them. Just last week Grace had told Celia that Mama and Mummy were in the shower together, playing a game, because Mama was really laughing. Celia had just rolled her eyes; she consistently let Caroline know that she should be 'over that sort of thing by now'.

Later that evening after a protracted discussion, they had decided that they would say yes. Caroline would try to be free and she would get someone from the PE department to replace Kate for her lesson. Beverley would be on hand in case Caroline got caught up. Beverley was the only staff member who had regular contact with the twins. Kate had taken them in as babies a couple of times, but only to the staffroom. The students had never seen them.

Beverley had been invited to all the significant events, their wedding, the naming and the first and second birthday celebrations. She and her husband had occasionally been invited for coffee on a weekend. Both Kate and Caroline had complete trust in her discretion and had a soft spot for her as a person. The twins loved their Bebly. At least once a week, Caroline would get caught up and ask Beverley to go and pick the twins up from childcare. They would then be entertained in her office until Caroline was ready to go home. The two women had a strict rule that they each had days to pick the children up and that way there was no confusion and it meant that Kate could sometimes stay back and do her preparation and marking.

Lucy was thrilled when Caroline told her to go ahead. She had given them an outline of her lesson which both women were OK with. Caroline was still uneasy about the Q&A session at the end, but gave way to Kate's optimism.

Caroline woke up on Saturday morning to find Kate reading beside her. "Hello sleepyhead"

"What time is it? Where are the kids?"

"They're in their room playing, I'm just about to get up and get their breakfast."

"I've been thinking Kate, why don't we go into 'Milk and Honey' the kids' clothes shop in Harrogate today and get them both a new outfit for Monday?"

"Caroline they've got heaps of nice clothes."

"Yes but they need to look special, we can't take them to school in any old rags."

Kate was yet again amazed by Caroline's total devotion to all their children. She absolutely adored them and spared nothing in relation to their upbringing and now that Lawrence was away at university, it was like she lavished all her maternal instincts on the twins. It was always such a joy when the boys came home for the break; the twins clung to their older brothers and demanded all their attention.

Kate caved in and they set off to buy two new outfits. Eventually they came away with two lovely dresses that everyone had agreed on. The colour coding that they had used when they were little had long gone out of the window. Flora and Grace had 'opinions' now and demanded a say in what they wore, which made the mornings sometimes very fretful especially if they were in a rush.

Monday morning came around and it was tense in the McKenzie-Dawson household. Caroline had spent a good deal of Sunday trying to coach the girls about what they could and couldn't say. Despite Kate trying to tell her that they would never be able to remember any of her lengthy explanations, she persisted as if preparing them for an exam.

They parked the car and got the girls out; each mother taking one girl they walked towards the entrance. Many students were filing in through the gates and up the driveway. Very soon they were surrounded and there were cries of "OMG, they're gorgeous!" Some of the kids tried to take photos but Caroline soon put a stop to that.

After a few moments, Beverley appeared at the entrance. As soon as the girls saw her, they pulled away from their mothers and toddled over towards her. "Bebly, Bebly" and fastened themselves around her legs. She took them by the hand and started the climb up the stairs to Caroline's office. She swelled with pride as other staff members noticed her, she was aware that this was a privileged position to be in with regard to Caroline's family; they all knew how private she was.

Kate had been replaced for roll call and her first lesson so that she could be available to go to the talk. Caroline was desperate to be there too as she was still not comfortable with what they might say.

They entered the classroom, Kate with Grace and Flora with Caroline. There was a collective gasp and many OMGs around the room as they walked in. Lucy was at the front and called them all to come up.

"Girls (it was an all girls group), this is Flora and Grace. They are two years and eight months old. Isn't that right;" she smiled at the twins waiting for an answer; both looked at their mothers. Caroline started to nod, to try to prompt them to say yes; nothing doing.

Next came the moment Caroline had been dreading. "Mama, I need to poo." The class dissolved into hysterics. Caroline grabbed Grace's hand to take her. "No Mama, Bebly take me." "Grace, Beverley isn't here darling come on let's go."

The child then stomped her foot and began to cry, "No Mama, I want Bebly."

Kate sat calmly with Flora, watching this unfold. She could see how embarrassed Caroline was and the looks of 'I told you so' were flying thick and fast. However inside she was revelling in the deconstruction of her beloved wife. The perfectly dressed and controlled woman who was being publicly out-smarted by her small daughter; It was wonderful.

Caroline swept Grace up into her arms and carried her out of the room. As she walked along the corridor to her office Beverley appeared. "Bebly, I do poo." Caroline thrust the child into her secretary's arms and went to find the bag with all the gear in it. 'God this was a bloody disaster and it was only the first five minutes'. Beverley duly fixed Grace up and put on new pull ups and delivered her back to Caroline.

"I knew we shouldn't have done this. It's going to be a farce."

"Caroline, this is perfect; it shows the students that bringing up a baby, never mind two, is not all sweetness and light, especially when they are in their terrible twos!"

Both women decided it would be better if Beverley came back to the lesson as well, just in case there was another tantrum.

When they arrived back at into the classroom, Flora was sitting up quietly on Kate's lap and her mummy was in full flight about breastfeeding when you have twins, when they were weaned and what their diet was like now. Caroline was in awe of the calm and open way Kate was able to share all this and how respectful the students were.

Grace let go of Bebly's hand and shouted, "Ora, Mummy " and ran to them. She looked at the students and smiled, "Bebly look after me". Almost with one voice the students said "aw, how sweet".

One student then asked Kate if they were still sleeping in cots as she had heard that toddlers often try to climb out and can hurt themselves. Kate explained that they now had little beds that were only twelve inches off the ground and they anticipated they would sleep in them until they were five or six.

Flora looked at the student and said with great pride, "Ace and me go into bed with Mama and Mummy". Caroline wanted the ground to swallow her up at this moment; even Kate blushed. The students looked at both women and then started to giggle. Eventually everyone laughed and the moment passed. Caroline looked at her watch, 'God another twenty minutes' – what more could they say'.

In an attempt to dissipate the embarrassment, Caroline said to the babies, "Show the students how you can count, ready, one two three; come on you can do it."

Grace continued, "pour, pipe, sex." Again the students tried to restrain themselves but it was hard as they were so cute. "I don't know where she's got that word from" Caroline piped up very quickly; she was fast going into meltdown. Kate could see that this was getting hard for the principal, she was a very private person, but she also had a position to maintain in the school. She leaned over to Lucy and told her that she thought the twins might have had enough. "I'll stay and answer any questions the students might have and Dr McKenzie can take the babies away."

There was no hesitation on Caroline's part. She and Beverley took the girls and walked to the classroom door. Both of them turned and blew a kiss to the students and waved, after all that's what they did for Granny and Grandpa. Caroline was relieved; they had redeemed themselves at the last minute.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ora and Ace** – Chapter Three – **The Passion Killers**

 _Thank you for your warm and lovely reviews -they just spur me on!_

Flora and Grace stood at their mothers' open bedroom door. They stared hard at the two women who were both fast asleep. Kate had started a new tradition in a bid to keep them from coming into their bed as soon as they woke up. Not only was it depriving them of sleep, but much more! They were to play in their room until one or both mummies called them, then they would have an 'everybody cuddle' in bed for ten minutes before getting up.

However, the twins had fast discovered that, like a puppy, if you stare long enough, someone will respond. They had also taken to whispering at the door.

"Mama and Mummy sleep Ora" Grace said in her loudest stage whisper. Kate heard her but did not stir. Today was Mummy's 'birday' and she was going to make the most of it. She knew Caroline would eventually bring her breakfast in bed.

Ace then had an idea; their big brother Willy was downstairs in bed, as he and Roxy plus Rence were home for Kate's birday too. "We go see Willy" and with that she took Ora's hand and they went downstairs together. They reached up on tippy toes and managed to open the door.

"Willy, Willy" they both shouted and jumped on top of their sleeping brother and his girlfriend.

"Hey you two, what are you doing?" William moaned and looked at the clock. Half past six. "Flora, Grace it's too early, you go back and play in your room."

"Mummy's birday, Mummy sleep."

"Hey, why don't you go and wake Lawrence? He'll play with you."

With that, they swung on Lawrence's door and managed entry, jumping on to him with the same conversation. Lawrence put his head under the covers and completely ignored them. Having two baby sisters was wonderful but they constantly wrecked his morning sleep in when he was home.

Giving up eventually, they toddled back upstairs and resumed their stare. Caroline stirred and folded herself around Kate. "Happy Birthday my darling;" kissing her passionately; she had made a vow to herself that she would always make Kate's birthday special to make up for the disastrous weekend away and all its subsequent hurt. Kate responded hungrily to her wife's kiss, pulling the covers over them she whispered "Make love to me, Caroline, please."

"O God Kate, the passion killers are at the door staring at us. " "I don't care, fix it, a girl could die wanting you."

"Flora, Grace, come here darlings," the twins rushed in. "Today is special because it's mummy's birthday but Willy and Roxy are here too. Go and ask them for an 'everybody cuddle". She hoped to God they would go as Kate was pushing all her buttons under the covers. As two year olds, they didn't remember that they had already tried that and so off they toddled downstairs. Caroline quickly shut the bedroom door. Kate could be very noisy!

What their mother couldn't have bargained for was that after the girls woke Will, Roxy had suggested they not waste being awake, she could think of better things to be doing than going back to sleep.

The door to their room swung open yet again, this time with Grace still attached to the handle. The two young lovers jumped apart quickly and started to laugh. "Flora, I told you to wake up Lawrence."

"Rence not wake up. Mama kissing Mummy, she say come for ebody cuddle." William stared at her for a while trying to work out what she was saying. Roxy looked at him "Will get with the program! It's Kate's birthday, they've sent them down here for their morning cuddle so they can have a few moments alone."

The babies climbed into bed with them and Roxy began to tell them a story. "We'll try and keep them here as long as possible" she whispered to Will.

Half an hour later, Caroline knocked on Will's door. "May I come in?" "Course, come and join the party" Will said, with no small hint of sarcasm.

"Girls come on leave William and Roxy now; we'll go and get Mummy's breakfast ready." The twins slid off the bed and ran into the kitchen. "Thanks" Caroline mouthed to the pair still in bed.

Caroline prepared a tray with four breakfasts on it. The girls each carried a rose from the garden and a present upstairs. They all sat up in bed having a wonderful birday breakfast. Kate allowed the kids to open the wrapping for her and made a big fuss of their little presents. When they were finished, she snuggled into Caroline; "How did I get so lucky to have this; you, my wonderful wife, who I adore; and these gorgeous babies."

"We've waited a long time, and never given up, that's how."

About midday, Grandpa and Granny arrived, and a little later, the Greenwoods; the twins ran outside to meet Emily their favourite playmate. After a round of happy birthday kisses and hugs, the last car they were expecting pulled up in the drive. Greg and Issy got out and walked to the door. Seeing Greg, the babies ran to him, "Daddy, Daddy." He swung them both up and covered them in kisses. This was a moment Caroline and Kate always loved to see. He was such a good father to them without being too intrusive.

Issy had recently got a position at Royal Manchester Children's Hospital so that she could move in with Greg. He had been willing to go to London, but she didn't think it was fair as he would miss too much of the girls. Their relationship was blooming and they were very happy together. The twins adored Issy too. Kate was over the moon when she found out she was coming back. They were very close and their friendship meant the world.

Celia sidled up to Gillian, "Here we go, 'Days of our Lives' has got nothing on this family with all its twists and turns."

"Yea true Celia, but this one works. "

Once all the meet and greet had finished Caroline announced that they had booked a private room at the village pub so they could all walk there and enjoy a drink with lunch. They set off in a convoy. Greg and Issy took the twins and Caroline took hold of Kate's hand and they strolled along behind the others. Celia and Alan were just ahead, Caroline noticed her mother turn and glance back at them. "I wonder what that's about?" she said out loud.

Celia had in fact looked back to see if Caroline and Kate were close behind. "I worry about this family Alan, it's OK while the twins are little but what will they think when they are older and they find out what a tangle it is."

"Oh I don't think there'll be a problem. It's nowt they won't find in other families. Look at mine for God's sake; more mysteries than an Agatha Christie novel." She had sighed and let it drop.

The meal came and was enjoyed by everyone. The twins were up in two high chairs more to keep them in one place than they needing them. There were a few informal and humorous speeches and lots of laughter. During a lull in the conversation, Robbie said to the twins, "Did you two look after Mummy this morning for her birthday?"

Flora started off "We had ebody cuddles with Willy and Oxy." Robbie looked bewildered, and Kate explained to the group what everybody cuddles were. Next the bombshell as Grace said, "Mama kissing Mummy lots and not give us ebody cuddles."

Everyone either blushed or burst out laughing. Caroline turned to Kate, who was pink cheeked and sighed "O God, here we go."

"Yes well Roxy and I didn't manage too many kisses thanks Mum."

"Welcome to my world." Caroline said as she chuckled. "Now can we change the subject?"

Later as they all strolled home, Greg called Caroline to one side. "Why don't you take Kate away for the night? Issy and I can stay and look after the kids, we both brought an overnight bag just in case."

"Really; that would be great Greg, we'd be back in time for brunch tomorrow."

"Fine go ahead then, Issy and I thought about it on the way up, we should have mentioned it before, but after listening to the passion killers, it's obvious you don't get much privacy."

Caroline quickly pulled out her mobile and called the hotel they had gone to for their wedding night. They were full. Dare she do it she wondered, should she ring the hotel they went to for Kate's birthday; it wasn't too far away. It could be the best or the worst thing. She rang and they did have a room.

"A young eighteen year old, testosterone filled boy answered the phone; this time there was no hesitation, a room for Dr and Mrs McKenzie –Dawson, and she clearly said, "My wife and I would like a dinner reservation too please."

Once they arrived home, they put the twins down for a nap. Caroline told Kate of her plans and she was thrilled. They packed an overnight bag and left before the girls woke up.

An hour and a half later, the girls were up and running around looking for their mothers. Flora was tearful, "Where Mummy go, I want Mummy." This in turn set Grace off and before long Greg was battling a full scale, double trouble tantrum.

It took a long while to settle them down and it hinged on a promise that they could speak to Mummy and Mama soon. Issy and Greg watched the clock, trying to allow enough time for the two women to get to the hotel and check in. They put on a DVD of Cinderella and plonked them down in front of it. Soon the girls were settled and enjoying the movie. "I think we might avoid a phone call." Greg whispered to Issy.

Caroline and Kate walked into their room. It only took one look between them and they were soon in each other's arms. It was more than two years since they'd had the luxury of such aloneness. They could make love without rushing and having one eye on the door and an ear listening.

Cinderella ended. Greg offered the girls a snack and some juice. "Ring Mama now Daddy." O God they hadn't forgotten. 'Mind you' Greg thought to himself,' it's only five o'clock; they're probably out for a walk'. He pulled his mobile out of his pocket and dialled Kate's. He put it on speaker. Issy had grave doubts about the timing of this call. After all she knew Kate and there had been many afternoon sessions.

Kate nearly jumped out of her skin as her phone started to vibrate on the bedside table. "God who's this" she said as she slid out from underneath Caroline, who moaned with frustration.

"Mummy, Mummy " she heard her little ones call out. "Hello darlings are you alright?" "Yes Mummy, we look at Cindella with Daddy."

"Where Mama?"

"Mama's here darling."

"Mama kissing Mummy gen."

"Who told you that sweetheart?" Caroline asked.

"Issy."

"Put Issy on the phone darling," Issy picked up. "What are you telling them?" Caroline laughed.

"God they've got ears like I don't know what. I told Greg not to ring you yet, he thought you'd be out for a walk. I knew better, I said I doubted it, that you'd probably picked up the kissing where it left off this morning. The little monkeys must have heard me."

Kate grabbed the phone. "I don't care what you two do but unless they are dying, don't call again."

"No problem, enjoy."

"Turn it off darling" Caroline begged.

"But what if..."

"They have the hotel desk number if there is anything urgent." Kate switched it off and turned back to her delicious wife.


	4. Chapter 4

**Reality Bites**

 _Long delay, ran out of inspiration. We've moved on and into a new reality, not always funny and fuzzy, sometimes challenging._

"Mummy, when Ace and me go to school, will we be in the same class?"

"Grace and I darling, now that you are four and a half you must learn to say things properly, and I think when you go to school; you should call Grace by her full name, don't you?"

"No, she's my Ace mummy."

"Yes well she'll always be our Ace, but she may find at school that people will want to call her by her real name, just like they'll call you Flora, not Ora."

Going to school was only a couple of months away now. It had taken an age and lots of long conversations between Caroline and Kate, to decide which school to send them to. Caroline was keen for them to go to Sulgrave Preparatory, which would ensure a place for them in High School. Kate on the other hand wanted them to go to the local Primary School with all the other village children. The two women had forged some lovely friendships in the community and they felt accepted and their girls were always being invited to 'play dates' with the other families. Another reason Kate didn't want the girls at Sulgrave while they were very young, was that she hoped at least Caroline, if not both of them, would have moved on by the time they were ready for senior school.

In the end, Kate had won out and they were going to the village school. Celia and Alan were still mobile enough to pick them up in the afternoon and look after them until one or other mother got home, or long day care if Granny and Grandad were not there.

Later that evening, the family were sitting around after dinner when Flora looked seriously at Caroline and said, "Mama, will Ace and me be in the same class at school?"

Kate looked at Caroline with some concern. Caroline responded by holding Flora, "I don't know darling, they may put you in a different class to start with." With that, Flora's eyes began to fill with tears. The two women looked at each other. They hadn't realised that this could potentially be a big worry for the girls, who had never been separated.

"It will be nice Flora, you'll both make some new friends and then you'll have lots of stories to tell each other after school." Kate said, hoping to make her feel better. Looking at Grace she said, "What about you Grace? "

"I'm staying with Ora Mummy; it will be alright won't it?"

Caroline changed the subject and decided to read them a story to take their minds off the issue; then they shuffled the girls off to bed and snuggled up on the lounge together.

"Caroline, I think we might be going to have a problem here when the girls are separated. Remember Kylie, the teacher we met at the interview, said it was policy to separate twins so as to give them some new social skills."

"Mm, I didn't realise Flora had already started to worry about it. I suppose they've always been with each other. Remember how Grace fretted when Flora was in hospital overnight with that high fever? She cried so much at bed time I had to bring her in with me."

Kate turned the television on and Caroline picked up her book. Ten minutes later they were both asleep. The rigours of having two small children had hit home lately. In a few months Caroline would celebrate her fiftieth birthday and she was beginning to feel it; not to mention the onset of menopause. One night recently, Kate had begun to make love to her and after trying all the usual things, Caroline had just said; "Nothing's happening." They were both shocked and Caroline had made a decision there and then to see her GP – not making love or losing her libido was not an option. God they'd only been married a few years and she still found her wife the most attractive human being on the earth.

The doctor had been very understanding. Blood tests had indeed shown that she was in menopause. However they had also discussed the fact that two small children would be enough to wear out any parents. They had come up with a plan to make life easier and help her through this initial bad patch. Kate was her usual gentle, understanding self and had comforted Caroline and assured her that they would be OK.

A few days later Caroline had been having a cup of tea with her mother, "Mum, what age did you start menopause?"

"Oh, I don't really remember love. I suppose about your age. Why?"

"Well I think I've started. I feel tired a lot, and I'm having hot flushes in bed; and you know our err love life is a bit messed up." She couldn't believe she'd actually just said that!

"Well you'd expect that to be fading now. I wasn't interested in your father at your age. If it did happen I used to just lay back and think of mother England. Anyway he was off shagging anything that moved so I was spared the torture most of the time."

"Mum, that's not my life; I'm more in love with Kate now than when I married her! God, I hope it won't ever 'fade'."

Celia just shook her head and said no more. Caroline quickly changed the subject.

As the weeks passed, Caroline felt herself getting better. The medication had kicked in and she was following doctor's orders and getting more sleep, exercise and having a better diet. Kate was relieved and felt she was getting her lover back. They enjoyed making love so much. It was such a special and reverent time for them; it brought them so close and made them feel complete.

Caroline finished clearing the last of the Sunday lunch dishes. Granny and Grandad had joined them, and Kate was helping the girls into their new school uniform to show them off. Flora shouted "Are you ready Granny and Grandpa?" They both shouted yes. The girls then paraded in looking so cute and smart and twirling round to show themselves off.

"My word, don't you two look special?" Alan said.

As Caroline looked at them, she felt her heart swell with pride. They were such beautiful children both in looks and temperament. However she also drew in breath when she realised that, in uniform, it was almost impossible to tell them apart; poor teachers. Grace had always been a little smaller, but in the last few months she had shot up and was now the same height and weight as Flora.

The girls were very excited as they pulled out the gear they had in their backpacks, to show their grandparents. All the pencils, pens, colouring pens and believe it or not, their Ipad. How different it was now. They would be using their tablets as of day one. Caroline had always kept their exposure to electronics to a minimum, but as Kate had said, "Darling, these things are a fact of life now, better they learn to use them properly."

Greg had been very apologetic about not being there for their first day. Issy had only a few days before, given birth to their first child, Ben, and he was more than occupied looking after them both. Kate and Caroline were so excited by their news and couldn't wait to go to Manchester to see them and introduce the girls to their baby brother and explain to them how their family all fitted together. So far, apart from the odd night at their own home with their Daddy and Issy, the girls had never had time away from their mothers, with Greg. It just felt a step too far under the circumstances. Greg, true to his word, was fine about it.

Today was the big day; both the women had taken the first hour of work off so that they could take the girls to school. The conversation about being together in class had not come up again and they were both hoping it would be alright. They arrived and went into the hall with all the other new children and parents. The twins recognised some of their friends and waved to them. However both girls then held hands tightly and had their mother's hand in the other. They weren't moving an inch. The Principal welcomed everyone and gave a little speech and introduced the two kindergarten teachers; who also spoke briefly to the children.

Out came the rolls and the children's names were called out one by one and they lined up in front of their teacher. "Flora McKenzie-Dawson, over here with Ms Willis; and Grace McKenzie-Dawson with Ms Barker." Caroline started to usher Flora to her line but she refused to let go of Grace. They both stubbornly refused to let go of each other or move from the spot. Kate knelt down and tried to gently reason with them; it wasn't working. Seeing what was happening, Ms Willis came over and whispered to Kate, "it's probably better if you and Caroline kiss them and leave. We can sort it out, we're used to this."

Caroline and Kate both cuddled the girls, who by now were very tearful, as were their mothers. They turned to walk away and before they had taken three steps, "Mummy, Mama, no." Kylie (Ms Willis) nodded for them to keep walking. Every step was excruciating as their crying got louder and more intense. The women got into their car and just sat. "God, I can't remember it being this hard with the boys, either for them or me." Kate was too choked up to speak.

Eventually they drove off. Arriving at school, they agreed that Kate would ring at lunch to check on them. About half an hour later, Beverley put a call through to Caroline. "It's the twins' school."

"Hello, Caroline McKenzie here." "Caroline, this is Shirley from the school office. The twins are not settling well and the teachers have decided that they should only do half a day today. Could you arrange for someone to pick them up at twelve?"

"Are they in separate rooms?" Caroline enquired. "Yes they are but they're not joining in and have had several bouts of crying. If it helps, there are about four other children who will only last half a day too." Shirley chuckled as she said this. It did indeed help to hear that.

"Ok, I'll ring my mother, she lives in the village and she can come and pick them up at twelve."

At half past four, Kate and Caroline arrived at the cottage to pick up the girls. They were both asleep on the sofa.

"They're exhausted. We gave them some lunch, and put on a little movie for them, but they both fell asleep watching it and they've been out to it ever since." Celia reported. "I think it was all too hard for them; poor little chickens."

Kate walked over to the sofa and stroked both of them until they woke up. "Grace looked bleary eyed and started to cry," Mummy, they took Ora away."

"I know darling. How about we go home and then you can both tell us all about it."

After getting the girls changed, they all cuddled up together on the lounge. Kate and Caroline tried to explain to them that this was hard for all the other children too and it would get better. "I'll be alright tomorrow Mama, I'll stay with Ora and we won't cry." Grace explained, as if it were the most logical solution (which it actually was).

The next morning, Kate went straight to school and Caroline took the girls. She and Kate had come up with what they thought was a happy medium and Caroline wanted to present it to the staff.

"Kylie, could I have a word please. Kate and I think we might have come up with a solution. The girls were so wrung out last night; it seems it's a bit too drastic to completely separate them straight away. How about you let them get used to coming to school first and then take them separately for an hour a day and slowly build it up until they are used to being apart?"

"That could be a good plan Caroline, it's not what we like to do, but you're right, they were distraught yesterday. However, if they are to spend time together, we have to ask if you are OK with them having a name tag on? We are struggling to tell them apart. Yesterday, they led us a merry dance. Once they realised what was happening, every time we called out one of their names, they both answered!"

Caroline couldn't stop herself from laughing. The cheeky monkeys she thought, but full marks for sticking to their guns; something they definitely got from Kate!

"No I don't mind, as long as the other kids wear them for a few days too. That way they won't feel they are being singled out."

Kylie took both girls and explained that they would spend the first hour with her and then they would both go to Ms Barker's class.

The girls beamed at her and turning to Caroline blew her a kiss. "Bye Mama." And walked off hand in hand and happy.

Caroline shook her head and she too left smiling. After she got into the car, she sent a text to Kate to tell her all was OK. At lunchtime, Kate came up to her office and Caroline explained what had happened.

"These two are going to be a force to be reckoned with, Dr McKenzie."

"I think they are, Mrs McKenzie."

Caroline came round her desk and shut the door. She took Kate in her arms and said "Do you remember the first time we kissed in this office?"

"It was mad, snogging in here," Kate said laughing.

"It was more than a snog, pal, I had my hand inside your bra!"

Kate felt a warm hand slip inside her bra and Caroline caress her gently. It took her breath away as always. "Later," she whispered, " I've got 9F."


	5. Chapter 5

**Baby Ben**

 _ **Thanks for your lovely welcome back messages.**_

Caroline and Kate got the girls settled into their booster seats and loaded up the luggage. They were all off to Manchester for the weekend to see Greg, Issy and baby Ben. He was now two weeks old and they were all so excited to meet him.

As Caroline drove, Kate's mind drifted back to a weekend six or so months ago. Greg and Issy were up for the weekend and they were all in the park for a picnic lunch. The twins were down by the lake with Greg and Caroline, feeding the ducks. She could hear them giggling away as the ducks and geese grabbed feed pellets from the girls' hands.

Issy sidled up to her. "I look at him Katie, and I know I've been so lucky to meet such a gentle and caring man. Yea, I know he's a bit zany but that's part of his charm. Did you feel that when you went out with him?"

"Yes I did, but the chemistry was never really there. That's part of the reason we broke up; however he's such good friend. If it isn't too weird to say it to you, I can't think of anyone I would feel better about being our girls' father."

"I know that, and he's so proud of them. You know he never talks about the night you and he slept together, the night the girls were conceived."

"It was awful Issy. I was a mess. Caroline, well you know what had happened with her, I told you all that. I was so bloody angry with her; but I think the anger had built up over several weeks of enduring her ridiculous family situation; feeling like a bit on the side that had to be hidden.

I was so looking forward to having her to myself for two days and nights, so that we could really talk and iron things out and I might add, discuss the baby. I knew she was having a hard time coming to terms with the way I wanted to do it, and I was open to discussing it. Greg was his usual blithering nervous self and she thought he was a complete jerk. Of course that didn't help.

So over breakfast the next morning it got worse; she rambled on about the house again and that was the last straw. That night, it all came pouring out, and I fell into Greg's arms more for comfort, than really planning a baby. Looking back now, it's probably a miracle that I got pregnant. In all honesty, Issy, all I felt when we were together, was how I was betraying the woman I loved. Hindsight is a great teacher, but if I'd known how bad I would feel, I would never have done it that way."

Issy held Kate's hand and looked steadily at her. "I loved you so much Katie, but when I'm with Greg, I don't feel I'm betraying the woman I love, I feel like it all fits." Kate kissed her on the forehead and said," You have no idea how good it is to hear that."

A few moments later, Greg, Caroline and the girls wandered back. They all sat on the picnic blanket and started to open the baskets and containers. Greg pulled out a bottle of champagne and some glasses, he poured four of them and then said, "Issy and I have some news; we are twelve weeks pregnant"

Kate burst into tears and grabbed Issy; hugging her then Greg; she was overcome with joy. Toasts and hugs all around. The twins wanted to know why everyone was happy and mummy was crying.

Caroline explained to them that Issy had a baby in her tummy, like mummy had when they were growing. They both smiled at Issy and then asked if they could have another sandwich.

"Do you need to stop at the services darling? Kate, do you? "

"Sorry, I was miles away. No I don't think so, the girls are OK and I don't need anything; what about you do you want me to drive for a while?"

"No I'm fine; you seem to be a million miles away anyway." Kate decided against telling her what she was remembering. They had been there enough times that it was better to let it rest.

"Oh I'm just enjoying the quiet and thinking all kinds of things." She put her hand on Caroline's thigh; "Not least of which is how much I love you."

Caroline lifted her hand up and kissed it.

They drove on and soon arrived in Cheadle Hume, the town where Greg and Issy lived. It was convenient as it wasn't far from the Children's Hospital where Issy was now a paediatric consultant. They had booked into a small hotel in the town as they needed to give the new family some space. They were shown to a large family room with a queen sized bed and two singles. The young woman turned to Caroline and said, "Would you and your friend prefer separate beds?" Caroline smiled benevolently and answered, "No thank you, my wife and I usually sleep together." The girl blushed and apologised profusely and sincerely.

"Honestly Caroline, sometimes I think you actually enjoy that little scenario, torturing unsuspecting chamber maids!"

"Well, hotels should be a little more circumspect. If someone asks for a family or double room, that's what they want, unless they ask to change it." Kate just shook her head.

The girls began to bounce up and down on their beds. Their mothers chose to ignore it while they unpacked their stuff and Kate made a phone call to Greg to tell them they had arrived.

They picked up some food to take for lunch; 'organised' is not a word they would use to describe the living arrangements of their two dear friends. Soon they were in the cottage all staring into the crib at a beautiful little bundle. He was gorgeous, and it was not lost on any of the adults how much he looked like the twins when they were tiny, apart from their thick, curly black hair. Caroline and Kate both had a cuddle and then they sat the girls down on the lounge and put baby Ben into first Flora's arms and after a few moments, gave him to Grace.

The girls stared at him and then held his little fingers.

"You had little hands like that when you were tiny tots." Kate told them.

"Mummy, why has he got no hair?" Grace asked with some concern. "Did Ora and me have hair?"

They all chuckled. "Yes, you both had lots of black curly hair like mine."

After everyone had eaten lunch and Greg had regaled them with all the details of the labour and birth; as only he could, Issy went to change Ben's nappy. The twins followed her. When they returned to the room, Flora said, "Mama, he's got the same willy as Rence, but it's very small."

Lawrence had long since given up on his personal space and privacy when he was home. Despite his pleading and their mothers' stern instructions, the twins regularly barged in on him in the shower or bath.

Everyone laughed and looked at Greg to explain the difference. "Why me?" he said with mock outrage.

"In case it had slipped your observation, my love, you're the only one in the room qualified to talk about willies." Issy had cut in.

Kate and Caroline then explained to the girls that Greg was Ben's daddy too and that made Ben their baby brother. But Issy was Ben's mummy and so he would always live with them, just like they would always be with Mama and Mummy. The girls looked a little confused but seemed to take it all in their stride. "Willy and Rence are our brothers too Mummy aren't they?" Flora stated.

"Yes darling, we're a big family now aren't we? It's a bit like Paul and Lucas, your friends, their daddy doesn't live with them but he loves them and sees them a lot just like your daddy does." Caroline explained. Both girls nodded and then changed the subject by asking if they would be going to the park.

The two families had a lovely weekend together and Issy was happy for Kate and Caroline to have lots of bonding time with little Ben. The twins had several cuddles and spent time in the nursery playing with his soft toys. After all, Ben said they could!

In bed, Kate cuddled up to Caroline and whispered "Does it make you clucky seeing a new baby?"

"God no! And please tell me it isn't affecting you; that is definitely a non starter Mrs McKenzie, unless you want a divorce! The only new babies I'll be getting clucky over will be our grandchildren."

They decided against trying to make love. Grace was a very light sleeper and while they wouldn't be overly worried if the girls saw them, they couldn't face the barrage of questions that would inevitably follow.

On the drive home, Caroline turned and looked at Kate, "Do you remember the time we were talking about Greg and Issy starting a relationship and I said it felt a bit incestuous?"

"Yeah, I do and I told you that life was complicated."

"I was thinking about it again last night. Our kids have so much love, all of them, and so many people who care for them. I know my mother worries about how it will all play out when they are old enough to understand what's happened. Should we be concerned?"

"No darling. If they grow up feeling that their life is normal and makes them feel safe and happy, I think that's more to the point."

Celia still had the capacity to instil doubt in her daughter.

Caroline put her head back on the seat rest and chuckled as she remembered Kate saying; 'I just want to be someone's mum'. Counting baby Ben, who would undoubtedly always be in their lives, she was now mum to four and a half children! And who knows how many more!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6** – **Not Again**

 _A bit of angst here. Old material but hopefully a new take on it._

The sound of Madame Butterfly filled the house. Caroline was in her office finishing the last bit of work she needed to do to be ready for her meetings this coming week. Kate was ironing the twins' uniforms for school. The girls were in their new bedroom doing their 'secret' things. Now that they were collecting more stuff, the upstairs nursery had become too cramped for them. Caroline was badly in need of an office and so the decision had been made to move the girls to the largest downstairs bedroom and turn the nursery back to an office and retreat for their mothers. There had been some hesitation, Kate worried that they would be downstairs alone, so initially the two women had slept down there too. That didn't last too long as they yearned for their privacy. The compromise was open bedroom doors; both of them!

Suddenly there was a crunching of tyres on the drive. Kate looked out to see an unfamiliar car pull up. However, the dishevelled figure that got out, was all too familiar. "Oh God, not again," she shouted. "Caroline, Caroline!"

"Yep what's up?"

"You'd better get down here, John's here and he looks very rough."

"Jesus, what now. I don't need this today."

The door bell rang and the girls came running out, hoping it might be their neighbour's daughter come to play. Kate told them to go back to their room; it was someone to see Mama. She was adamant that the girls would not be subject to this man, especially if he was under the weather.

Caroline opened the door. Kate turned up the music.

"John, what are you doing here?"

"Caroline, I really need some help, can I come in?"

"What kind of help? Has your car broken down?"

"No, it's bad and I've got nowhere else to turn." The tears began to pour down his cheeks. He had at least two or three days of stubble on his face, his clothes were crumpled and his hair uncombed. He smelled of stale alcohol.

"John, you know the rules. We won't allow you to be here in this state in front of the girls. They don't need to see this."

"Please Caroline, I'm begging you."

After what seemed like minutes of wavering, she stepped aside and let him in. Kate took one look at him and walked away into the girls' bedroom and shut the door.

"She hates me doesn't she?"

"No John, Kate doesn't tend to hate anyone; she just can't stomach the way you live and doesn't want our children to think it's OK for a man to behave like this. Anyway, what's the problem, what's happened?"

"Helen, the woman I've been living with for the last nearly three years, has left me and taken me to cleaners for money. My solicitor says it's all perfectly legal and now I'm left with having to sell my flat, pay off the mortgage and give her half of it."

"But you had loads of money when Kate and I bought you out, enough to buy an apartment outright."

"But I didn't, I squandered a lot of it trying to win over that bitch. I took her on expensive holidays and bought her loads of stuff. This is how she repays me. She came in to the relationship with bloody nothing except a bit of old furniture."

"Oh I see, so that's why Kate and I have had to foot most of the bills for the boys' University expenses. Too bad if we'd wanted expensive holidays!"

He sat down and performed his usual trick of putting his head in his hands and saying no-one cared for him and Caroline was the only person who understood him. He'd squandered everything that mattered – on and on with the same mantra.

Caroline put the kettle on and started to make him some tea. "When did you last eat properly?"

"The other day."

"Right well I'll make you something."

Kate came out of the girls' bedroom, walked straight past Caroline and went upstairs. She glared at her wife as she walked through. Minutes later she came back down with a small bag.

"The girls and I will be at your mothers."

"Kate, please."

Kate walked the girls through with their coats on and a little backpack each. "Kiss Mama, we're going round to see Granny and Grandad." The three of them walked round to the cottage, but to her dismay, they were not there. She phoned Gillian and asked if they were there; they were. She asked Kate what had happened. Kate told her the sorry saga and how she had just about had enough of all this.

"He's like a bloody sticky fly, you think you've got rid of him then he comes buzzing back with all the shit stuck to his legs!" Gillian's voice was full of venom. "Don't worry he phoned here before your place, telling me the same sorry story and asking to come here."

Kate was shocked; but then again not.

"Bring the girls up here and stay for lunch. Caroline can deal with him. We'll expect you in about twenty minutes."

Kate walked back to the house. Through the window she could see Caroline sitting up at the kitchen bench. Her hand on John's arm as his twisted face poured out his woes.

Kate opened the front door and Caroline immediately removed her hand from his arm. She picked up the car keys, and looking at Caroline, just said with great sadness in her voice, "We're going to the farm."

Caroline knew this was a disaster.

Kate pulled up in the farm yard and Celia came out to meet them. The girls gave her a hug and then ran in to see Aunty Gillian and Uncle Robbie. They missed Emily being at the farm since Raff and Ellie had moved into Halifax.

"Kate love, whatever's happened?"

"John again, Celia. I thought Caroline and I had a deal, I thought we had a cast iron understanding; we have to protect our girls. I won't have them subject to that kind of behaviour. Even Greg, who hardly ever interferes, has said he'll deal with him if he doesn't leave us alone." Kate's eyes filled up with tears. She hated it when she and Caroline were at odds with each other. It hardly ever happened but when it did, she was often taken back to the issues of the past and it made her feel very insecure.

"God, he's a piece of work. It's only in the years since he and Caroline split up that I've realised just how much of a real deadbeat he is. Come inside love, come on." She put her arm around Kate's waist and walked her in.

When Robbie saw her, he went over and hugged her and then said to the girls, "Come on, let's go and look at the sheep." They ran outside and happily went with him and Grandad.

Kate spilled out the whole story to Celia and Gillian. There were great discussions about what an idiot he was and how pathetic his life continued to be. They both supported her being strong and bringing the girls away but also knew how hard it would be for Caroline and Kate to have this level of falling out. The whole family was never in any doubt about how much they loved and adored each other. Their life wasn't perfect, but pretty damn near it.

After a walk around the farm in the fresh air Kate regained her composure. They all sat down to lunch, and while she didn't feel like eating much, Grace and Flora tucked into their roast dinner and enjoyed it. The conversation around the table was more light-hearted and the twins rambled on about school and their new friends.

Not long after lunch, Gillian's phone rang. She looked at it, "It's Caroline."

"Gillian, how's Kate?"

"Well she was pretty shaken up when she got here, but she's alright now. Has that idiot gone yet?"

"Yes he's gone down to the village pub, or that's where he said he was going. Do you think Kate will talk to me?"

"I don't know but I suggest you ring on her phone."

"OK I'll try now. Thanks for taking care of them all."

"Before you go Caroline I think there's something you should know. John rang here before going to you, telling me I was the only person who understood him, blah, blah, you know the usual. I told him to get packing."

"The bastard!" Caroline screamed down the phone. Gillian's phone went dead. It was a few minutes before Kate's phone rang. She walked outside.

"Kate, darling, are you OK?"

"What do you think Caroline? You just let him walk all over us again." There was silence at both ends. Flora came outside, "Is that Mama, can I talk to her?"

"No Flora, go back inside." Flora jumped at the harsh tone of Kate's voice; something they weren't used to.

"Kate, are you going to come home now he's gone?"

"I need to calm down a bit Caroline. I don't want a blazing row with you. You'll just have to be patient."

At that moment, Robbie came out and asked if he could speak to Caroline. Kate nodded and handed him the phone.

"Caroline, it's Robbie. Gillian said John's in the local?"

"Yes I'm pretty sure he went there."

"Ok I'm coming over now. You get ready and bring the kids school stuff. I'll pick you up in about forty minutes." He gave the phone back to Kate.

"Caroline I'll see you soon by the sounds of it."

"Ok sweetheart, I love you, we'll sort this out."

Robbie strode into the local pub. John was sitting in a corner drinking whiskey and staring at the table. Robbie called the landlord over and showed him his warrant card and had a few words with him. The landlord looked over at John and nodded.

John looked up at Robbie and with slurred speech; "What are you doing here?" Robbie then sat beside him and told him that if he ever rang Gillian, his wife, again, there would be serious trouble. If he ever went near Caroline and Kate again in this state and without asking, there would be even more trouble.

"Bollocks to you."

"No mate, you'll have no bollocks if you try this stunt again. Remember I'm not above showing you I mean business. I've told the landlord not to serve you any more drinks and I've given him your car registration number. If you dare to get in your car in this state, he'll ring the police straight away. Now I suggest you phone a friend or dial a neighbour, whatever the hell you can and get out of this village NOW!" With that Robbie strode out of the pub and drove to Caroline's.

She was waiting outside and hopped in with all the gear for the kids.

"Thanks Robbie. You're an angel. Is Kate OK?"

"Oh you know she will be. But I sense you've got some grovelling to do."

On the drive over Robbie explained to Caroline what he'd said and told her that if John ever turned up like that again, she was to ring him straight away. She agreed. "God Robbie, I'm such a soft touch. I wish I had Gillian's will in this matter."

"Caroline, Gillian's married to me. She wouldn't dare let him come for fear of what might happen to him." He laughed as he said this.

They arrived at the farm and as they got out of the car, Kate came out to meet Caroline. The twins then ran out after her. Robbie made himself scarce. Celia stood at the window. She didn't want to miss the show!

"Kate, darling I'm so sorry, I really am. Come home please. I don't want all our dirty washing hung out in front of everybody."

"Why did you bring the girls' school things?"

"Robbie said Gillian thought they could stay here and mum and Alan take them to school in the morning; just so we could have some space to talk."

Kate looked at the twins; they had their arms around Caroline and kept asking why she hadn't come for lunch. They knew something wasn't good; just Kate's tone of voice and the fact that she'd been crying.

"No, Caroline, they've seen and heard enough today. They're coming home with us and we'll spend some time with them and then talk later."

"Mama didn't come for lunch because she had a lot of work to finish, but I'm here now." she tried to reassure her daughters.

They all sat down for a cuppa and Kate made it absolutely clear that the topic of John was off the table. Celia took Caroline into the kitchen and gave her a piece of her mind. "He's just playing you Caroline, you and Gillian both. He's an idiot, a drunken idiot. He just can't accept the fact that all his problems are of his own making. You can't keep sorting him out; it's too much for Kate."

They loaded the kids in the car and drove home, mostly in silence.

After playing with the kids for a while, and having an early tea, Kate got the girls bathed and in their PJs. Caroline read them a story and tucked them up for the night.

"Mama, naughty John made Mummy cry." Grace said as Flora nodded in agreement. Caroline was shocked; Kate was right, even what they saw today, which was very little, had them disturbed. She comforted and reassured them that Mummy was alright. She decided not to repeat this to Kate; it wouldn't help.

Fortunately, all the fresh air at the farm meant they were tired and went off quickly.

Kate poured them a glass of wine and they sat on the sofa together. Caroline leaned over and kissed Kate tenderly. "I'm sorry darling, I really am."

"Caroline I can't keep doing this. I know he doesn't come often any more but when he does, it's always under these circumstances. When he's got a woman and all the shagging and drinking he wants, he never comes near us, or the boys. But when he does, you fall for it most of the time."

"I know. I suppose I just look at him and see my sons' father and it's hard. My head tells me how pathetic and manipulative he is, but seeing him like that, I falter."

"But we had an agreement. I need to know that I can rely on that. I notice today, that it didn't occur to you to take him to the village for a coffee and something to eat. I'm the one who had to leave the house, our house, to protect our girls, and I will continue to do that Caroline, that's a promise; whatever it takes. I don't trust him when he's drunk.

You do know he phoned Gillian before you don't you? That's how special you are."

"Yes, Gillian told me when I was talking to her before I came."

They sipped their wine quietly, Caroline aware that she needed to let Kate calm down.

After a while, Caroline put down her wine and gently coaxed Kate into her arms. God it felt good to feel her melt into them.

"I love you so much my darling and even losing you for a couple of hours today was agony." Kate lifted her face and kissed her. "I love you too, I saw your hand on his arm through the window and I couldn't stand the thought of him having any of you touch him."

They lay side by side, stroking each other, making promises over again. Caroline knowing that this was the very last time this could ever happen; what the girls had told her confirmed that.

Before getting into bed, they had showered together and Caroline had asked Kate to wash her all over. "Wash him away Kate."

They lay wrapped in each other. "Caroline, you know he can stir up old wounds in me don't you. He still has the capacity to make me feel insecure, he's so manipulative and devious and my greatest fear is what he might say about you or me in front of the girls."

"It won't happen again, ever."

Caroline spent the next two hours making her wife feel very loved and very secure.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven – Did I just hear that!**

"Caroline, I've been thinking,"

"Oh dear, when you start a sentence like that I usually get a curved ball thrown at me! What?"

"Well half term is coming up soon, why don't we take the girls camping? They have such a comfortable life; it might do them good to live simply for a few days."

"Camping? Did I just hear that?"

"Yea, why not, we've still got the four wheel drive so we can go off road somewhere."

"Kate, you can't be serious. I never even went camping with the boys, when my body would have been supple enough for bobbing up and down in tents and sleeping on the floor."

Grace looked up from the drawing she was doing, "Mummy, what's camping?"

"Well darling we would drive to somewhere, maybe near the beach or in a forest near a river or lake and we would sleep in a tent."

"What's a tent?"

"It's like a tiny little house, made from material and we put it up on the ground and then we all sleep together inside, in special bags, a bit like when you were babies and we used to put you in sleeping bags."

Caroline continued the description; "and it might rain and we'll all get wet and then the wind might blow and we'll lose the tent and failing that, spiders, flies and creepy crawlies will sleep with us as well."

"Caroline; Stop it! That's not fair. You're putting them off before we've even had a chance."

"We'll my darling, I have an idea. We'll drive to a beach campsite, I'll help you put the tent up and I'll then retire to my B&B close by and bring you all breakfast in the mornings. How does that sound?"

"Please yourself; there's lots you could miss out on if you're on your own in a B&B. Sex in the wild would be a novelty, but that's your loss." Caroline just grinned and shook her head.

"A few moments later, after a whispering session between Ora and Ace they started singing;"we're going camping, we're going camping. Can we tell our friends when we do our class news, Mama?"

Caroline told the girls that they could not tell anyone because it was highly unlikely that it would happen, then looking at Kate; "you'll keep!"

For the Monday before the half term holiday, Flora had prepared her story to share at their morning class news session. It went; 'In the holidays our Mummies and Grace and me are going camping. We are going to the forest and camping near a lake. We will sleep in a bag, and we will cook on a fire. We don't know yet if there is a toilet. Mummy says we might have to dig a hole in the ground. Mummy, Grace and me are excited but Mama not very'. Not being able to read this yet, she had been practising with Kate. Caroline was going to be exposed to it when Flora tried it out on Sunday night.

It had taken Kate ages to persuade Caroline to agree and they had come up with a compromise; three nights in the tent, and then three nights in a small hotel at the beach.

A few weekends before, they had all gone to the camping shop to choose a tent and all the other equipment they needed. Kate had suggested they buy good stuff so that if they all liked it, it would last them a few years. Caroline wandered around with them but was anything but interested or excited. She had hoped the whole thing would go away but the girls had been kept excited by Kate and talked into thinking it would be a great adventure.

Flora and Grace practised their news brief and Caroline tried her best to be very enthusiastic about it for their sakes. However she did object to them telling everyone that she wasn't excited. She thought it wouldn't look good.

The morning they were to leave arrived. The girls were running around so hyper and excited; Kate was trying to keep them focussed on packing their little things. They had been told only two small toys each. Clothing for all weathers had to be packed and everyone's wellington boots; since moving out into a country village, they had been forced to adapt their wardrobes slightly. Even Caroline had to wear wellies on very wet and slushy days. She was dragging her heels, trying to work out how she could sneak her electronic devices out without getting caught. She had loaded them with talks and EBooks. Kate had suggested that they try to have a week away without all the props.

After checking and re-checking, they were set to go. They had about a four hour journey and had decided ahead of time where they would take a half way break. Kate started the car and drove out, within minutes, the girls said;"Mummy can we sing some songs." All Caroline could think was 'God if we start on 'Kumbyah' I think I'll throw up!' They ended up singing all the girls' favourite songs from their Disney Movies. Kate had a lovely voice as well as being so musical in other ways.

She looked sideways at her wife. "Are you really that miserable darling?"

Caroline had a fixed look on her face, she could easily have been driving to the dentist; the way she was pouting and sulking. "Oh you know me. I like my home comforts and this is my idea of torture."

Kate laughed and told her to lighten up and at least give it a happy go for their daughters' sake. The twins were so excited and the day before had insisted on going round to see Granny and Grandad to say goodbye. Celia had taken one look at Caroline and said "I assume this is not something you're looking forward to Mrs Sophistication?" "You've got that right mother."

Eventually they arrived at the campsite. There were only about four other tents there and all of them had a good space between. They chose a spot and pulled up. It was a glorious spot; dappled light and shade from the trees and a lovely lake in front of them.

Caroline got out and looked around; it was indeed a pretty spot. She turned to Kate; "I hope you've brought enough rope to tie these two up."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well they could easily walk into this lake and drown; we'll have to have eyes in the back of our heads."

"Caroline, don't be so miserable. We've hardly even got out of the car and you're finding fault."

The next task was to put up the tent. Caroline took over as she insisted she was the logical, methodical one. She carefully laid out all the pieces and poured over the instructions. It was a greater challenge than she'd imagined. Slot A into B and then add to C etc etc. She looked around to see if anyone was walking their way to assist but that was not happening. A few people had smiled at them when they arrived but they were all busy canoeing, fishing or sitting around reading. It took about half an hour and some expletives and 'what idiot wrote these instructions' before it was up and secure. They had chosen a tent with a middle family living area and two separate bedrooms, one on each side. It had a large awning on the front to sit out under. They inflated all the beds, two singles for the girls and a double for their mothers; and put them inside with the sleeping bags and pillows. "There, that's done; easy and quick eh darling?" Kate had enthused. Soon everything was unpacked and they were all set.

After a long walk through the forest and around the lake, they settled themselves on the fold out chairs outside their tent. The girls were inside, playing with their toys in their 'special bedroom' with a zip up wall. A couple of canoes came ashore and a man with two boys climbed out of them. They began to walk towards the two women. Suddenly the man was standing in front of Caroline.

"Caroline Dawson, is that you?" She looked up and suddenly recognised him. "Des, Des Wilson, are you kidding me?" She stood up and the two hugged each other. "Wow, I can't believe it after all these years. Des, this is my wife Kate and our two daughters are inside the tent, Grace and Flora."

Des extended his hand to Kate and shook it warmly. "Lovely to meet you, Kate." Kate said likewise.

They stood chatting for a while, Des and Caroline had done the same course at Oxford and had been great study buddies, whilst not moving in the same social circles, they were good friends.

"Why don't you come over to our tent in a while and have a few drinks with Cathy and me and our boys."

"Sure, I thought your wife's name was Anne?"

"Anne died fifteen years ago, Caroline. I married Cathy ten years ago and these two rascals are my two youngest. Anne and I had two girls; they're both at University now. I thought you were married to someone called John, isn't he an author or something."

"Yes, but John and I divorced some years ago now. I have two older sons and they are both at University too."

"Wow seems like we all have a lot to catch up on." He strode over to his tent and pointed in their direction to his wife who waved to them.

An hour later as the sun was setting, they wrapped the girls up and carried some drink and nibbles over to Des and Cathy's tent. He had lit a fire and they all sat around. After all the introductions and hugs and handshaking, Des said; "What brings you to this spot?"

Without hesitation Caroline responded; "Oh you know our girls live such a comfortable life, we thought it would be good for them to rough it for a few days."

Kate was astonished at what had just come out of Caroline's mouth. She could barely control herself. Eventually it was too much and she started to laugh; "Would you like to re-phrase that my darling, actually tell the truth!" Caroline's face flushed and she looked very sheepish, eventually admitting that she was there under great sufferance.

"I can relate to that!" came from Cathy. "I even suggested I sleep in a local B&B." Caroline already loved this woman.

Later, they had great fun cooking their meal on the outdoor grill they had brought. The twins were so excited to help cook their sausages and heat up the baked beans. Not gourmet food, but hot and filling after a full on day. By nine, the girls were fast asleep and Caroline and Kate were in their little room, all zipped up. Luckily the camp site had a small ablution block as Kate had been dreading what Caroline would say if they had to actually dig that hole.

They had zipped their sleeping bags together and lay snuggled up inside. Caroline looked at Kate and whispered; "Now what was that bout sex in the wild?" Kate giggled; "Only if you are very quiet."

"I can do very, very, quiet if that's what it takes."

As they lay in the dark, feeling the afterglow, Caroline whispered; "That's nice, a little butterfly kiss on my cheek, you haven't done that for a while."

"I didn't do it now." Kate said as she put the torch on. There was a large moth perched on Caroline's cheek. She burst out laughing and told Caroline; "Shit!" She shouted as she swiped it off her face; "I told you this would happen."

Kate kissed her, still laughing, "I wonder why it chose you!"


	8. Chapter 8

_My sincere apologies to all the dancing aficionados - my terminology is made up!_

 **Ora and Ace - The Dancers**

Caroline sat on the bench at the side of the practise room staring at her Ipad as she tried to take in the timetabling spreadsheet in front of her. Today she had drawn what she felt was the short straw, bringing Grace to her ballet lesson after school. Actually there wasn't even a straw to draw as Kate had rightly said, when Caroline moaned about having to go; "Well my darling when you can teach piano, we'll swap!" She had the less stressful job, in Caroline's world at least, of giving the girls piano lessons at home.

The other parents sat fixed on their children's every move, 'ooing and aahing' at every turn and point of the toe (in the right direction of course). "Aren't they lovely; so talented." One mother had gushed at Caroline. "What? Oh yes sorry, they're delightful." and with that had turned back to her work; as yet she didn't see Grace as Dame Margot Fonteyn. The constant 'one two three, one two three, was starting to grate, as she'd had a rather stressful day.

Grace was loving her ballet lessons and doing quite well. She was now grade two and so they had purchased the regulation tutu and ballet shoes for her. On the other hand, Flora was losing interest and had not progressed, hence the now separate lessons. Caroline had already sown the seeds of perhaps allowing Flora to stop coming; not something Kate was keen on. "We mustn't let them give up too easily Caroline, if in another couple of months she really doesn't like it then we'll talk to her about stopping." Caroline sighed, accepting she would soldier on with her two afternoons a week. She sometimes reflected on how much negotiation had to go on when there were two mummies. John always had his head firmly in his writing and she had made most of the decisions about the boys.

Forty minutes later mother and daughter were on their way home. "Mama, did you see me do my special turn around, away from the bar, Julie said I was very good."

"Er yes sweetheart, you were very good today, I'm proud of you."

"Mama, why weren't you watching me all the time like Molly's mum, I kept looking at you but you didn't see me much."

"Oh darling, I'm sorry, I had some work to do, you know Mama has a very busy job, I've tried to explain that before haven't I?"

"Yes, but Mummy always watches when she comes." Caroline could see just a slight bottom lip tremble as she looked sideways. She felt her heart melt but there was little she could do; she had to keep on top of her work; especially as Kate rightly expected her to have family time at weekends.

"You look very pretty in your tutu Grace; the pink colour suits you." A feeble attempt at encouragement; the child was right; she had been very distracted today.

The car pulled up outside the house and Flora and Kate came out to meet them. The girls ran inside to their room, Kate helped Caroline carry in all the stuff. "You look a bit worn out." "Yes I've had a stressful day, just too many meetings, it's getting worse Kate."

They put their stuff away and Kate insisted Caroline sit down and relax for a while, she poured them a glass of wine and carried it over.

"I felt so bad driving home; Grace asked me why I don't watch her when she's in ballet class like the other parents do. It really upset me because she's right. I sit there trying to get my work done, with the bloody one two three thingy going non-stop."

Kate threw her head back and laughed at this vision. She could imagine all the huffing and sighing that would be going on; her wife was known to have low tolerance for things that irritated her.

"When can we have the discussion with Flora about finishing? She really doesn't enjoy it Kate."

"Not to mention that you would get out of taking her! I'm not that daft, this is about you not Flora."

Caroline sighed yet again. "Oh I forgot to give you this; it's from Julie the teacher."

Kate opened the letter and it was to tell all the parents that the dance school would be putting on a little concert in four weeks time and all the children would be encouraged to participate, no matter what grade they were. She passed it to Caroline when she'd finished, and waited for the inevitable dummy spit she knew was coming.

"God, this says that there will be two extra practises each week until the concert!" Kate smiled and nodded. "I can't do it darling! Not unless you want me to have a nervous breakdown."

"Don't worry we'll sort something out. I can see you're getting over stressed and I don't want that; it's bad enough all the extra stuff coming up at school."

A few moments later Grace came out and asked Kate to play the piano. "Mummy could you play my favourite piece, you know, sugar plum, so that I can show you what I did today?"

Kate got up and went to the piano and started to play. Grace pointed and turned with great skill for a five year old. Then Flora came along and said she would help Ace to practise. "One to three point Ace; one to three turn Ace."

After clapping rather artificially, Caroline excused herself and went upstairs on the pretext of getting changed. Kate's eyes followed her with a mixture of humour and compassion.

Later, after the girls were in bed, their two mums lounged on the sofa together; Kate massaged Caroline's temples until she could feel the tension ease. While she was concerned about the pressure on her wife, secretly she adored the vulnerable side only she got to see; she knew she was the only person who could make it all better, and loving Caroline's tension away was a magical feeling and something she cherished.

"Are we going to let the girls go into this concert?" Caroline asked.

"Of course, especially Grace, we can't let her feel left out darling. I'm not sure about Flora; we'll have to see if she's interested."

Caroline had done some mental scheming and come up with the idea that it Flora were allowed to leave the dance school soon, she wouldn't need to take her to the special practises for her grade; this alone would save her from half a fate worse than watching Lawrence's rugby practise for five years.

"I think now is the right time to ask Flora before they start wanting her to get involved in the concert." Kate smiled, she knew her wife well enough to know that she was indeed scheming; but it wouldn't work as there was something she as yet didn't know.

Next day after school they sat the girls down. "Girls, did Julie tell you about the concert she's planning for next month?"

Grace enthusiastically responded, "Yes Mummy, I'm going to be a swan."

Kate enthused about this while Caroline smiled somewhat benignly.

"Mummy I don't want to be in the ballet concert;"came the considered reply from Flora. Caroline's face lit up and before Kate could get a word in; "That's alright darling, mummy and I are fine if you want to stop going to the dance school."

"No mama, I want to go to the other dance."

"What other dance?" As far as Caroline knew, they attended a ballet school.

"Caroline the school has other forms of dance and movement classes. Flora is talking about the modern dance class which she's tried out and loves. I didn't have the heart to tell you yet."

Caroline could feel the wind being punched out of her now flagging sails. "Please tell me these classes run on the same days as ballet."

"'I'm afraid not my love, different afternoons, same teacher you see." Kate explained with some compassion in her voice. "But I've already had an idea to help you out. I'm going to ask Granny if she will go and watch either Grace or Flora on their days. You can drop them and Granny can take over."

The twins both stopped in their tracks when they heard this. They looked at each other, obviously deciding who was going to break the bad news; Flora drew the short straw. "No Mummy we want Mama to take us not Granny."

"Why sweetheart? Granny would love to watch you and it will give Mama a chance to finish her work at school and then come home and spend time with you."

"No Mummy," Grace chipped in. "I want Mama to take me. I like her being there."

Poor Caroline was filled with a mixture of love and sentimentality at their obvious attachment to her; on the other hand all she could envisage was hours more of the dreaded counting, and God knows what in the modern dance class. Taking a deep breath and putting her children first, she agreed she would carry on but bargained with them that after the concert they would have to let Granny do some of the days. Five year olds are not adept at seeing far into the future and so they readily agreed to her compromise.

Later as they lay in bed, Kate turned to Caroline; "Do you ever wish we'd decided not to have any children? Or should I say, I'd decided not to?"

"My God, Kate how could you ask me that? I love them to bits; I couldn't imagine not having them."

"I suppose I'm noticing how tired you're getting these days, I worry about you." She gently kissed her wife. Caroline responded by curling around her; "We'll be OK. The kids come first and if things get too much for me I'll just change jobs. You taught me that five and a half years ago, remember? We've both made hard choices in the past. Nothing is more important than us and now our children; certainly not my job."

It was a week out from the concert. Both women had stoically pressed on with the extra demands of the preparation; it was worth it to see the excitement and joy in the twins. The swan piece was coming on very well and now Flora was a lion in a short segment from the Lion King. Kate had been seconded to do some piano playing for the extra practises and so Caroline had been spared some of the dance studio torture. The 'one two three' had paled into insignificance beside the continuous repetition of the song Hakuna Matata.

Costumes were made; Caroline had asked one of the Visual Arts staff and some senior students at school if they would mind helping with the stage props etc. The reward was tickets to come and see the twins perform; quite an intrusion into their otherwise private life. She found herself actually getting a little bit excited about it all; it was the girls' first foray into public performance and she was so proud of their beautiful daughters. The Greenwoods were coming, Granny and Grandad and Bebly, Caroline's faithful and long suffering secretary who was now a firm family friend.

Sunday afternoon arrived and everyone was at the little theatre where they were to perform. Unfortunately the usual pianist had been taken ill and Kate had to play for the whole thing. Caroline was seated up near the front with their guests.

The first piece performed was by the very small children. They were so cute as they strutted about the stage as baby animals and danced to the tunes of nursery rhymes. Caroline was amazed to see dozens of parents up in the aisles with cameras, some even with large video equipment. 'Damn' she said to herself, 'it never dawned on me to bring the camera'. She foraged about in her handbag and retrieved her phone; at least she could look like she was taking a few pictures.

Next up was Grace's troupe. As they filed onto the stage; she could see Grace staring out into the audience, the lights in her face, suddenly she heard, "Mama are you there, I can't see you?" People turned and look at Caroline expectantly. Blushing like mad at the public attention, she called out "Yes darling I'm here." Her little one beamed and waved. Never having seen her perform without all the various prompting that went on at practise, she was pleasantly surprised at how well it went and how her heart filled, along with her eyes. 'That's my little girl'.

Flora filed on to the stage with her pride of lions. Their costumes were delightful and they danced and sang to perfection. Caroline could hear Kate's beautiful voice gently coaxing them through the song. She made a mental note to thank the staff and students who'd helped, at the next school assembly. Emboldened by the other parents she had got up out of her seat and taken some video footage of both girls as they danced around; she even sneaked some pictures of her gorgeous Kate playing the piano.

After the performance all the parents and guests milled around for afternoon tea. Several of them came up and thanked Caroline and Kate for their support with costumes and music. Caroline answered for them both. "Oh it's no problem, we'd do anything to encourage our children in these activities wouldn't we; they're so talented, it's a joy to watch them."Kate was rightly gobsmacked; she stared at her as she bluffed her way through all the conversations; when there was a lull in the adulation; she sidled up to Caroline, "sometimes my darling I just want to slap you!"

"Please feel free; later."


	9. Chapter 9

**Ora and Ace – Family Dynamics**

 _Life in a blended family has its ups and downs. Sometimes it's the kids who tell it like it is!_

Caroline's eyes flickered open as her phone buzzed on the bedside table. She fumbled about trying to simultaneously pick it up and look at the time. It was seven forty five on a Saturday morning; "who the hell is this?" she mumbled to no-one in particular. Kate was still fast asleep as presumably were their daughters; the caller ID; William.

"Hi Mum, sorry to wake you up, did I wake you up?"

"Yep, but for you I'll take a rain check on being cranky. What's up sweetheart?"

"Mum, Roxy and I are just about to get on a train to come home for the weekend, is that OK? Sorry for the short notice; spur of the moment thing."

"Course it is. Which station; and what time?"

"Leeds; gets in at ten thirty."

"Good, either I or Kate will pick you up. We look forward to seeing you both. Is everything OK?" "Yep, no problems, we just wanted to see you all, it's been a while."

Kate stirred as Caroline finished the call. "Who was that?"

"William. He and Roxy are just getting on a train to come home for the weekend; they'll be here about ten thirty in Leeds." A long lingering good morning kiss followed and then, much to Kate's disappointment, Caroline got out of bed citing the need to get their bedroom ready and go and do some shopping. The twins had a habit of spreading themselves into as many rooms as they could; toys, clothes, make believe tents all clogged up the two spare ones downstairs.

Caroline strode purposefully down the stairs and through the house, shouting as she went; "girls come on get up now." They emerged sheepishly from William's room where they had apparently been all night. Having their mothers' bedroom upstairs meant that all manner of things went on after lights out. "What are you doing in there?"

"We've been camping mama."

"O God, why can't you just stay asleep in your own beds?" normally she wouldn't be so prickly, but this meant the room would be a tip. She wasn't wrong; there were sheets and pillows strewn everywhere, a torch, and several books; evidence of milk being drunk and an empty biscuit packet. "Well you'd better come and help me to tidy up; Willy and Roxy are on their way here for the weekend."

The twins' faces lit up immediately. "Willy's coming today mama?"

"Yes darling, now come on let's hurry. Flora, get rid of these milk glasses and the biscuit packets; Grace, go and pull mummy out of bed; she's probably gone back to sleep." Kate was not a morning person at the best of times; weekends were her sacred sleep in days; preferably with her wife available.

Grace scurried up the stairs and with one great lurch, threw herself on top of her mother. "Mama says you've got to get up." Kate grabbed her and began to wrestle and tickle her; squeals of laughter followed; not exactly what Caroline had intended, she could hear the laughter from downstairs, but didn't have the heart to spoil the moment.

Eventually everyone was pottering about in their pyjamas putting everything away and generally making the place look spick and span. They had a cleaner once a fortnight, at Caroline's insistence; however it didn't take long before the place was a mess again.

After breakfast it was decided that Caroline would take the twins to the station and Kate would do the shopping. As they were working on the list, Kate asked, "What shall we have for dinner tonight?" Almost as one voice the girls shouted, "Pizza, mummy, its treat day." Each weekend they were allowed one meal of their choice that could be 'naughty food' as Kate liked to call it. "Oh I don't think so tonight girls, we must make something special for them." Knowing full well that the 'special department' would have to be left to Caroline; as her own culinary skills were pretty ordinary.

Caroline pulled up at the station car park and they all got out and walked towards the entrance. A few moments later they saw William and Roxy walking towards them. The twins set off at a gallop shouting, Willy! Oxy! They were both swept up and given a massive hug and kiss from their brother and his girlfriend. Despite being five and a half now, they still clung to all the shortened versions of everyone's name; it had just stuck like that.

"Hi Mum." William held his mother tight and kissed her on the cheek; as Caroline reached out and pulled Roxy into the group hug. They loaded all their stuff and set off home. During the drive, William tentatively asked, "Mum, do you think it would be possible to invite dad to dinner tonight? We'll have today just us and then see him tonight before we go back tomorrow afternoon."

"William you know that's something I can't do without asking Kate first. She's set some non-negotiable rules about him coming to the house and I'm not sure she'll come at it. We'll talk about it at home."

Kate came out to meet them when they arrived; she had a particularly strong bond with William; Caroline positively glowed as she watched them embrace each other. Over the years Kate had proved to be a wonderful mentor for him; filling him with confidence about his love of singing. He was now part of a rather prestigious choir at one of the chapels in Oxford. They had been to two of their recitals in the past two years and Kate was always filled with a deep admiration of him. She couldn't have asked for a better step-son.

The young couple went to put all their things in William's bedroom; naturally his baby sisters followed him. "Ora and me camped in here last night Willy. Mama made us get up early and tidy the room." "Well good for mum you two rascals, you won't be camping in here over the weekend. Roxy and I will be." They both nodded their approval at him. Once they'd finished, the twins asked them to go outside to see the flowers they had planted each girl pulling one of them by the sleeve.

Caroline seized the moment, "Kate, William has asked me if he can invite John to dinner tonight. There must be something afoot for him to be asking; but I have no idea what it is."

"I don't know Caroline; he's so bloody unpredictable, look what happened last time he rocked up." Kate sighed and looked away. She would do anything for William but this might just be a bridge too far. "How about you, William and Roxy go to the village for dinner with him and I'll stay here with the girls?"

"Well, we could, but I think William would be quite disappointed not to have you and his sisters there." She sidled up to Kate and put her arms round her waist, kissing her neck; "not to mention me missing you."

"You are unbelievable Caroline! Sucking up to me won't make me change my mind. I'll think about it;" grinning to herself as she walked away.

After finishing lunch, William took a deep breath and looking at Roxy for a moment, opened the conversation he had been waiting to have. "Mum, Kate, when Ginika was here last Christmas, she was telling me about some scholarships that are on offer at Columbia for the start of the next academic year and last month she sent a link to me and to Roxy."

At this point Caroline began to experience a twisting sensation in her guts. Kate stared at them; going through her mind was 'when did my mother get this into her head?' Neither women spoke.

"Anyway, Roxy and I looked through all the stuff and there are some great opportunities to complete our Masters degrees there."

Stomachs tensed even more; Kate looked sideways at her wife and slipped her hand into hers under the table.

"Caroline, William and I sent in our CVs just to see if we would have any chance and they got back to us very quickly; they offered both of us a place for two years."

"Right, right I see." Caroline could feel stinging tears starting to well up; she didn't want them to see this; she walked over to the kitchen on the pretext of getting another bottle of water from the fridge.

"The thing is mum and Kate; it's only a half scholarship. We would have to find the rest."

By this time Caroline had composed herself again and returned to the table. "Wow, well congratulations to both of you; that's a great achievement, isn't it Kate?"

"Yes, yes it is. Well done. I'm surprised my mother didn't say anything to me or Caroline."

"Oh Kate, she really only mentioned it, she wasn't encouraging us in any way. You know the way she talks; she's always trying to stretch her students."

"Yes well, she still might have mentioned it." Kate felt somewhat miffed that this had been dropped on Caroline; spurred on by her mother.

William could detect the upset in his mother's face and tone of voice. "I don't have to go if you think it's a daft idea mum."

"No, I don't think it's daft. You're old enough now to be thinking of your future prospects and a degree from Columbia on top of Oxford would be something to sell for sure; for both of you."

"So what is the chance of you being able to help me?"

"Gosh William, we'd really have to look at it; I suppose it will depend on how much you'll need; whether there's a chance of you both having a part-time job; and not least, how much your father is willing to contribute. Have you spoken to your parents Roxy?"

"Yes we went to see them during the week. They are like you, are a bit hesitant about us going and trying to work out if they can afford to help me. My older brother has finished University but my younger sister is about to start, so the money has to stretch."

"So how soon do you have to give them an answer?"

"By the end of next week Mum; one thing Ginika did say was that we could stay with her until we got on our feet and found somewhere we could afford to live."

"My mum said that?" she looked at Caroline, who could see more than annoyance brewing in Kate. "She should have talked this through with us before making all these suggestions."

"Ok well Kate and I will discuss it over the weekend and we can give you an answer before you leave. We'll need to talk to your father too. Now why don't we clear everything up and go for a nice long walk while the weather is good?"

Everyone rugged up in their coats, scarves and boots and set off for a walk into the hills behind the village. The girls loved to run free and explore; they dragged Willy and Oxy off with them and left their mothers to stroll along behind them hand in hand. At one point they stopped to look at a rabbit that was scooting along the hedgerow just ahead of them. Kate pulled Caroline into her arms and kissed her. "What was that for?" "Just because I love you and I know the lunchtime conversation was hard for you."

Roxy had noticed them and turning to Will, "they're so much in love aren't they?"

"Yep, and I can't see that ever changing. Kate makes mum so happy. I don't think I could even have contemplated leaving UK if mum wasn't with Kate. You know she seems together on the outside but she's quite vulnerable really. When she and Kate split up for a while, mum was devastated and miserable."

Roxy noticed the twins on the edge of a steep drop. "Hey you two scallywags come back here! God you need eyes in the back of your head with these two." The girls scampered back to safety.

During the afternoon, Caroline managed to get Kate on her own for a while. "Well what do you think about John coming round for dinner? I'll have to ring him soon."

"Ok, seeing that he's coming for dinner, we can get the girls fed and bathed early and then they'll have minimal contact with him. But Caroline, honestly, if there's any suggestion of alcohol before he gets here; or if he's dishevelled; then, no."

"I promise you I'll make it clear to him."

"John, this is Caroline; how are you? Good I'm glad to hear that. William and Roxy are here, a surprise visit and they've asked if you could come round for dinner tonight."

"Well, yes I can, I've no plans for tonight." If the truth were told John had very few days when he had anything planned. His drinking and ridiculous behaviour had slowly but surely divested him of many of his friends.

"John, you know don't you that you'll have to be on your best behaviour. No pre-drinks and make sure you're clean and shaved."

"Caroline! I resent that; why would you say it?"

"One phrase sums it up John, 'track record'. We'll see you at six thirty."

Kate and Caroline busied themselves in the kitchen getting the meal ready and discussing their finances. "What do you think Kate? Can we manage to help him? It's hard to put this on you as well."

"Caroline, there's no distinction; what we have is ours, it's for all our kids. It's true we're forking out for Lawrence at present but he'll be well and truly finished University before we have to think about fees for the girls at Sulgrave."

"That's true, but it's not going to be peanuts; there's the half tuition and then somewhere for them to live. That's a lot of money over two years."

"Caroline you know my mum said she'd help with the girls' school fees. She can afford it and she really wants to. We'll manage; the mortgage isn't that big now and we're just going to have to put the hard word on John to help out."

At about six twenty they heard a car crunch into the drive. Caroline called out, "that'll be your dad William." William got up from watching a movie and went to let him in. "Check him out properly before you let him in." She reminded him.

Moments later, a clean shaven and smartly dressed John walked in; no perceptible sign of alcohol; although he had managed a quick swig of the odourless vodka before leaving; he needed some courage. Facing either and definitely both of these women was not for the faint hearted.

He walked over to Caroline and reached out to kiss her. She backed off hastily; that was the last thing Kate needed to see. A moment later the twins came running out of the bathroom in their pyjamas with Roxy after them, giggling as they tried to run away from her. "Hey come and do your teeth."

She stopped short when she saw John. "Ah Mr Elliott, how are you?" reaching out her hand to shake his. She avoided his attempts to be more affectionate, somehow she felt a bit queasy. "Oh please Roxy call me John. I'm very well as I trust you are."

The twins put themselves behind William; using his legs as a shield. "Hello girls." John squatted down close to them. They both looked up at Caroline as if waiting to be told what to do. "I'm John, William and Lawrence's dad." Again they looked at Caroline. Flora then said, "You're not our daddy; our daddy is nice."

"Yes, yes, I know I'm not your daddy but this is our family isn't it?"

Kate's back became ramrod straight; her facial expression became one of defiance." Actually John this is mine and Caroline's family. True William is your son but our children are not part of your family; they have their own daddy. We try not to confuse them." He smiled benignly at her and she turned back to the kitchen bench.

Next he pulled two rather large swirling lollipops from his pocket; they were almost bigger than the girls' faces. "Here I thought you two might like a lollipop." This time it was Grace to set him straight. "Lollipops are naughty food; mummy doesn't let us eat naughty food."

Both Caroline and William had a hard time keeping their faces straight. These two little tots were putting John well and truly in his place. Kate smiled to herself but continued to keep her back to him.

They all sat down and Caroline poured everyone a glass of wine. Flora and Grace sat up between Willy and Oxy who both had their arms draped protectively around them.

"Well this is nice. Thank you for inviting me. You didn't tell me you were coming up north William."

"No dad, it was a last minute decision. I needed to run something past you and mum." He then went on to explain everything to him. He emphasised that he would need financial help and he was hoping his father would contribute.

"Oh well you see, I'm a bit strapped for money at the moment. I've not secured a new publisher yet even though I have a new book waiting to go. There isn't a lot of work at the university at present either."

Caroline could feel her blood pressure rising. "John you really are going to have to put your hand in your pocket. At the moment Kate and I are paying most of the boys' university fees; like both at once. It's a huge drain when you have two other children as well."

"That might be so Caroline but Kate's just made it clear that the twins are not part of my family; ergo they are not my financial responsibility."

Kate took over here. She knew Caroline was capable of wavering. "William, about how much do you estimate we will need to find in the first year?"

"I'd say about ten thousand pounds, Kate." Her eyes became massive orbs as she tried to take in what she'd just heard. Taking a deep breath she replied, looking at John. "Ok we can manage our five, just."

"I haven't got a spare five grand; God, that's incredible. Remember, there are two of you working."

"Yes but we've got four children."

She saw Williams face fall and a look of disappointment and embarrassment appear. She wasn't going to let him be humiliated. Looking at Caroline for a silent nod to carry on; "We'll find the first five to get you started, and then your father will have time to save for the second semester."

William got up and hugged Kate and his mother. "Thanks both of you. I promise I'll do my best to find a part time job and work hard at my course. I won't let you down."

John drained his glass quickly as he tried to take in what had just happened to him. He began to twirl his glass rather obviously in a bid to get a refill. Everyone else was taking their time consuming their wine; Caroline knew what he was angling for but steadfastly ignored him. Before they started eating, the twins were put to bed. They were told by Kate to say goodnight to everyone; moving from person to person they planted a wet kiss on their face and said 'night night'. John put his face out for a kiss; Grace looked intently at him and said "You made my mummy cry." And gave him a wide berth, with her sister following suit. Kate shuffled them out of the room. "Wow Caroline, they really know how to put the knife in don't they?"

"Children are very perceptive John and impressionable. They don't easily forget that someone is not always nice."

Dinner was a sombre affair; stilted conversation and tension in the air. William tried his best to engage with his father but the man was obviously straining as he was being tightly reigned in. He left shortly after dinner finished; Caroline had some concerns that he might go and fill up at the local pub then either drive drunk or turn up back at their house.

As the sunlight streamed into their bedroom, Caroline half woke up feeling her wife's body tightly wrapped around her; her head resting almost on her shoulder. As she tried to turn over to face Kate, she struggled to move the bed covers enough. Looking over her shoulder, she realised why; there they were, the twins lying in behind Kate, fast asleep; the four of them looked like biscuits lined up in a packet. She had no idea when they had come in and Kate was in her usual comatose sleep. Caroline lay quietly letting the warmth and feeling of her wife's body seep into hers as she dozed off again.

"Mum, mum."

Caroline opened her eyes to see William and Roxy with two trays. "Good morning sweethearts, what's this?"

"Well it is nine o'clock mum and so we decided to have a family breakfast in bed like we did when Lawrence and I were little."

Kate woke up and rubbed her eyes, she too felt hemmed in until she realised her babies were stretched out behind her. "God how long have these two been here?"

"Wouldn't have a clue; I woke up a while ago and they were here."

Soon they were all sitting up in the bed. Willy and Oxy had lifted the duvet at the bottom and slid in underneath. There was a huge plate of toast and marmalade in the middle of the bed and fresh orange juice. The girls were chattering away to whoever was listening about what they would like to do today.

Caroline leaned over and said to Kate "Do you remember the day these two were born and you said, 'life doesn't get any better than this moment'?"

"Yes I do."

"Well I think this moment comes pretty close to it don't you?"

"If Lawrence were here, as far as family goes, it would be perfect."


	10. Chapter 10

**Christmas at ours – Part One**

 _Just a little Christmas story from our family. I hope those of you who read Ora and Ace will enjoy - my Christmas gift to you! My apologies to litminor 101 - there is a little overlap re Christmas Eve, however I had written most of this before you posted. Great minds write/think alike. I will finish Part Two before Christmas._

Caroline woke to see Kate, pen in hand, writing on an old envelope. "Morning" she whispered as she wrapped her legs around her wife, stroking her feet, which she always found a delectable way to wake up.

"Caroline, I'm thinking we should have Christmas at ours this year, what do you reckon?" Kate knew this could be a fractious idea. Christmas brought out the best and the worst in people. They already had a patchwork family; made up of individually lovely pieces but which had to be carefully positioned and put together for social events.

"Wow, well what exactly did you have in mind?"

"Well, I'd like to invite my mother over for a week or two; your mum and Alan; the Greenwoods; and of course Greg and Issy and the children."

"That's like at least fifteen people?"

"Yes, if they all come. I know it's always nice when it's just you and me and our four, but we have had Christmas at Gillian's a couple of times and we've been to my mum in the last four years. The girls would love it if the other little ones were here too." Ellie and Raff had produced a little boy, Rory; and Issy and Greg a little girl, they'd called Katie, (Caroline was still secretly trying to work out how she felt about this) both of whom were now nearly two. So with Ben and Emily that would be six children under eight.

"Can I think about it? Later, much later..." Caroline took the pen and paper away from her wife and rolled her over to face her. She brushed the hair back from Kate face and leaned in to kiss her good morning; pulling her close in and gently stroking her face.

"I still get goose bumps whenever you say the word Christmas. Waking up on Christmas morning seven years ago and seeing you beside me in bed; slowly remembering all that happened the evening and night before. Just imagine how life would be now if you hadn't driven back and danced with me."

"I can't imagine it Caroline. Truthfully, I used to try. I would sometimes lie here and think about being in my cottage with these two. How happy I would be as a mum; but how lonely I would be on my own without you."

Suddenly the girls ran into the room both brandishing pieces of paper. "Mummy, Mama, we've done it!" each shoving a piece of paper under their mothers' noses.

"What have you done?" Kate asked as she lifted the duvet for them to climb in.

"We've done our letters for Santa. Mama told us how she used to write one and ask Santa for the things she wanted for Christmas, so we did ours."

"That's lovely girls, but Christmas is over a month away yet, Santa doesn't open his letter box until December the first."

Grace started to pout;"That's not what Mama said, she told us that we could do it when we were ready, so we did it this morning when we woke up." Flora nodded; "we didn't want to be late."

"Erm, when did Mama tell you this?"

Caroline began to squirm and look sheepish.

"Yesterday, when she was driving us home from school." Kate turned and shook her head at Caroline; "Don't you remember that we have to wait until Santa's post box is open?"

Caroline by this stage had closed her eyes and was pretending to be asleep, avoiding the inevitable telling off. She had a habit of getting the twins worked up and excited about things way ahead of the actual event. Kate found it annoying trying to contain them afterwards; but also endearing to watch her wife get down to their level.

"Well show me your lists." Kate reached over and retrieved her glasses. "Let's see now; Grace you want a new Ipad, a bicycle; a trip to Disneyland..."

"You've got to be kidding!" Caroline soon opened her eyes and grabbed the paper. Kate threw her head back and laughed; the twins looked shocked. "No mummy those weren't on my list."

"I know darling, I'm just teasing Mama."

Flora held her paper towards Caroline, "But I can put them on mine."

After trying to read the spidery writing on the letters and finding that in actual fact their requests were quite manageable, Caroline assured the twins that they would keep their letters to Santa safe and on the day they went to get their photo with him, they would put the letters in his box. This seemed to calm the girls who snuggled down in bed with them against the freezing late November snow outside.

"Have you girls thought about the little presents you would like to buy for your brothers and Granny and Grandad?" Kate asked as she winked at Caroline.

Flora started, "Well we thought we might buy Granny some chocolate; the one that looks like Father Christmas." Grace joined in; "we can buy Willy a book and Rence a comic. Grandpa can have some chocolate too, the Christmas tree one." Their mothers looked at each other knowingly. Despite all their attempts to monitor the amount of junk food the girls ate, Granny and Grandpa were always a good hit up for chocolate.

Celia had grown to be more gracious as she got older. More and more she realised what a joy she had in her daughter and family being so close and having the little ones around her. She knew now that the all fear and angst she'd had about Kate and Caroline and their marriage had all been in her head. Caroline continued to be happy and content like Celia had never seen her in all her time with John. Kate was an attentive and gentle daughter-in-law who had never held any grudges against Celia. Alan was becoming frailer as his heart condition deteriorated and every Christmas with him was going to be a bonus from now on. Everyone was aware of this and Gillian in particular was struggling as she watched him become an old man. Without needing to be explicit, it was the main reason Kate wanted Christmas at their place. To give him a happy time, and take away the need to travel in the cold weather; he rarely ever made it to the farm these days. The more Caroline thought about it, the more she realised what Kate was doing; her thoughtful and loving wife always seemed to be one step ahead of her.

After decided that indeed this is what they would do, they set about inviting everyone and doing all the planning. Greg and Issy said they would be there; they would spend Boxing Day with Issy's parents and family and New Year with Greg's. Sometimes Greg wished he could take the twins with them to his family but he knew it was a non-starter. They had all agreed that this could or might happen when the girls were old enough to understand the dynamics of their extended family.

The Greenwoods were all coming and Gillian and Robbie were very grateful that it was at Caroline's. Kate's mum would come over for ten days just before Christmas and Willy and Roxy would come with Ginika from New York. The boys would spend Boxing Day with their father. John had been invited to the farm one Christmas and it had been a disaster in terms of his drinking and behaviour and ended up almost spoiling the day. Robbie had stepped in and sent him packing. No-one had invited him since.

Two weeks later, they were all rugged up in their puffer jackets, thick trousers and boots ready to go to Fountains Abbey at Ripon to see Father Christmas at the Grotto, have their annual photograph taken with him and hand in their letters. The girls were wild with excitement. Their mothers had made them wait all this time since they wrote their letters.

"Do we really want to keep perpetuating this idea of having a photo with Santa, Kate?" Caroline dreaded the crowds, the inevitable queue and all the squealing and carry on that went with it.

"Of course! You and I both got to do it. It's part of the fun for kids Caroline. You did it for the boys." "Actually, after the second time, I made John do it. Couldn't stand it."

"OK Mrs Hoity-Toity, well you're just going to have to suck it up. Let's get going."

They arrived at the Abbey and went straight to book in their time for photos. They had half an hour to wait. "Well at least an appointment is a little more civilised than the half hour queue we had to endure in Leeds last year." Caroline mumbled away. Kate had long since stopped taking any notice of her when she started mumbling and grumbling. The less sympathy she got the shorter the episode.

Smiling brightly to counteract the grumpiness, Kate offered; "Let's all have a hot chocolate while we wait, and... If, we are ALL happy we might have a mince pie as a treat too."

"Yes Mummy", the twins danced around and ran over to the cart that was selling them. Kate turned to Caroline; "Shall I queue my darling or will you?" Caroline graciously offered to. As they all sipped at their hot drink and munched on their pies, Caroline's spirits began to improve. She put her arm around Kate and kissed her cold red nose; "You're such a tonic."

They came away from the Abbey, having posted the letters and with several lovely pictures of the girls with Santa and indeed a family portrait. Caroline had thought better of moaning about that one and managed a genuine smile as she cuddled into her Kate and their bundles of joy. "I think we could get this family one printed up as a Christmas card don't you?" Kate smiled and nodded. It didn't take much to melt Caroline after all.

In the lead up to Christmas Eve, there had been a flurry of activity. All the shopping had been done and they had all had a massive session wrapping presents and writing cards. Caroline had insisted that no matter how it looked, the girls must write their own cards; or at least sign their own names, and wrap their little gifts. The food had been decided and everyone had been told what to prepare and bring. Ginika, Willy and Oxy had arrived from New York, they only had one more semester there and then they would both finish their Masters degrees; and Rence from Durham. Despite the original plans, William and Roxy had continued to live with Ginika, who enjoyed them immensely; it had also saved Caroline and Kate a lot of money.

Christmas Eve was here; the buzz in the house when everyone was home, was wonderful, and they had enjoyed a meal which Ginika and Roxy had cooked. As much preparation as possible had been done, and everyone was ready for bed. Ginka had gone as she was staying with Celia and Alan. All Caroline and Kate had to do was fill the stockings and get them into the girl's bedroom without waking them.

Caroline went up the stairs ahead of Kate and switched a low lamp on in their retreat. Both women jumped into the shower and then put on a beautiful negligee; one that they kept for this occasion, safely wrapped in tissue from year to year. Walking in to their retreat, Caroline started their Christmas Eve song and drew Kate into her arms; Roberta Flack began to sing to them as they swayed together; this had become perhaps the most significant and romantic thing they did each year. Caroline had vowed never to stop remembering how Kate gave her the chance to have the life she had now. It was a debt she would never ever be able to repay, but nothing would stop her from trying.

Once the music stopped, Kate guided Caroline back to their bedroom for the second part of their Christmas Eve ritual. Each had put their special gift for the other on their pillow. Caroline picked up a small box wrapped in gold paper, with a carefully crafted bow. She undid the wrapping and opened the box to find a pair of exquisite pearl drop earrings. She pulled Kate into her arms, kissing her passionately as if she couldn't wait, "they're beautiful my darling."

There was an envelope on Kate's pillow; as she opened it her eyes widened in delight; two tickets to the London Symphony Orchestra and a night in a hotel. "Perfect, you're always perfect; thank you darling."

The presents were set aside and the third and final ritual began in earnest; Kate whispered; "dance with me, dance with me here and now". Caroline responded; "only if it's forever." They slipped out of their negligees, letting them fall to the floor; their bodies rose and fell together as they re-lived the passion of that night and their promise never to let anything come between them.

"He's been! He's been Mummy, Mama, wake up." The twins shouted as they started the climb up to their mothers' room each with a present in one hand and dragging a large stocking behind them as they bumped them up each stair.

"Ok so what time is it this year", Kate asked herself as she sleepily reached out for the clock. "Ten past six, well it's slightly better than the ten to six of last year." She appeared not to be talking to anyone in particular, her naked wife still in a deep sleep beside her. "Caroline, Caroline, wake up; Santa's been. The elves are on their way up the stairs. Do you want to slip your pyjamas on?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Christmas at ours – Part Two**

 _Part Two of this little Christmas trilogy. Thanks for the reviews and on-going interest. It gives me a warm tickle!_

Caroline quickly pulled on her pyjamas and was sitting up as the twins came through the door, huffing and puffing as they pulled their stockings the last few feet. Jumping onto the bed they threw themselves at their mothers and cuddled them. "Mummy, Mama, Santa's been and left us these stockings." Grace squealed as she thrust her podgy little hand inside and pulled out a package. Flora was much more intent on feeling hers and examining the shape and size and shaking the contents; while her sister had already ripped the wrapping off. Kate watched Flora with amusement; "Watch her Caroline, carefully examining, trying to work out what it might be, careful with the paper; not a chip off your old block by any chance is she?"

Caroline smiled wryly; "I'm really only interested in examining three things in life, my kitchen for mess; our bank balance for obvious reasons; but most importantly you;" kissing her wife's neck seductively. "Caroline stop it." "Why? I'm entitled, and it is Christmas."

"You had your Christmas present last night; more than one in fact; and more than once!"

The stockings were filled with small gifts, fruit, nuts and money in the toe, as is the custom in the North of England. The girls were so excited and every little thing that emerged as they dug deeper into the stocking, caused great bouts of screams. Soon the bed looked like the local tip; chocolate wrappers, tangerine peel, paper and gifts scattered amongst the bedding. Each year one mother would help one twin buy for the other mother and keep the secret; the twins weren't even allowed to tell each other. This year Grace had bought for Caroline and Flora for Kate; each had a budget of ten pounds.

"Okay girls, I see you've brought mummies' secret presents shall we open them?" Caroline coaxed; she was always surprised at what Kate could muster up for the stated $10.00 the girls were allowed to spend. Grace handed her package to Caroline and everyone waited with baited breath while she examined it; shook it, turned it and smelled it. Kate looked at her; "I rest my case." The paper was carefully undone to reveal a large pink scented candle. It was identical to one that they used in their bedroom which Caroline would light if she was trying to create a certain 'ambience'. 'Gracie, that's lovely darling; a perfect choice for mama." She hugged Grace and kissed the top of her head.

Flora thrust her present into Kate's hands and beamed at her. "Mama said you would really like these, and she would too, she said she might even borrow them sometimes." Kate pulled out a very sexy pair of panties; grinning she turned to Caroline; "No coincidence then that we've both purchased bedroom items."

"Do you like them Mummy?" Flora cut into the gaze her mothers were holding; "Of course darling; Mama's helped you to choose well."

Downstairs, everyone else was still sound asleep. All the presents had been laid under the tree before going to bed the night before and it looked splendid. Ginika had slipped in from Celia's, quietly, and was busy in the kitchen making breakfast for everyone. She could hear the squeals and laughter coming from upstairs, but decided to leave the little family together for the moment. Christmas had changed forever for her. Until six years ago, it was an enjoyable time, usually spent with extended family in New York; sometimes with Kate, but mostly without her. However it had lacked the magic she felt now. She worried after Kate divorced Richard, once she was too old to be of much use, her daughter could be very lonely at times like these. All that had been dispelled with the arrival of Caroline and their babies.

She hummed as she began preparing pancakes and crispy bacon; which despite being an American type breakfast, had become a firm favourite. She felt a pair of arms slide around her waist as she stood at the stove, turning she felt her daughter-in-law kiss her cheek and wish her a happy Christmas. "Caroline, thank you, and a happy Christmas to you too my love." "This smells delicious Ginika, I'll get everybody up."

The twins came running downstairs as they heard nana's voice. Ginika knelt down and cuddles them both and they all wished each other 'happy father Christmas day' as the little ones like to refer to it.

"Girls go and wake your brothers up and tell them to come out for breakfast." It was only eight o'clock, but since she'd been up for two hours, she reckoned everyone else could share the pain now. Kate walked downstairs with a large tidy bag full of all the stuff that had been strewn all over their bed. "Happy Christmas mum, I'm so glad you're here." Kissing her mother tenderly and holding on to her for a few moments

After breakfast, Caroline swung into action; the food was all her department now and everyone else had been assigned other jobs. They were expecting all their guests by twelve. The twins had crawled under the tree and were examining all the parcels. Kate pulled them away; "Leave those, no more presents until everyone else is here. You never know, Santa might even visit us again." There were pouts from both of them, but on their mothers stern instructions they went to clean their teeth and get some clothes on.

Suddenly Caroline's phone began to ring. "Hi Gillian, what's up, happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas too, Caroline. Look there's been a bit of a problem here. John came round last night demanding to know why he'd been excluded from the family party today. Naturally he'd had quite a bit to drink and he started abusing Robbie when he told him to leave. Robbie frog marched him outside and told him to sling his hook."

"Oh God I'm sorry Gillian. He so bloody unpredictable; well are you all OK?"

"We are now, but the stupid bugger fell over on the ice, getting to a taxi, and broke his wrist. Robbie's was at A&E with him 'til about four o'clock; before dropping him at his flat."

"Ok so are you still going to be able to come?"

"Yea course we are, but just give us an extra half hour so that Robbie can have a kip and a shower."

"Ok see you then."

"What's all that about?" Kate asked with a concerned voice; knowing that it would probably have something to do with John. Caroline relayed the conversation; careful to try and keep her tone even; it was an extremely prickly topic. The look in Kate's eyes was enough; no more was said.

By Twelve thirty everyone had arrived. The girls went crazy when Greg and Issy walked in. They were very attached to them and their two little ones. Celia watched on as all the various tentacles of this massive octopus that was their extended family; wrapped themselves around the group. It never ceased to amaze her how at ease they all were and how the children were like brothers and sisters despite having a mish-mash of parents. Alan sat beside her; proud of his crew; but anyone looking at him intently would notice that he was rather pale and quiet.

Once lunch was on the go and everything had been prepared, it was time for presents. Greg had slipped out of the room along with his little boy Ben; some moments later the two of them ambled back in with a big Ho Ho Ho; Greg dressed as Santa and Ben as his little elf helper.

Chaos reigned for the next half hour as everyone tore open presents 'oohing and aahing' in admiration and gratitude. The kids rushing from present to present; a few scuffles ensued as little ones tried to take things that weren't technically theirs.

Lunch followed and it was a veritable feast; four courses later and the whole crowd was puffing and letting out belts or opening waist buttons. Alan and Celia were asleep on the lounge; anyone two and under had been put down for a sleep and the other kids had settled into a nice play time in the twins' bedroom.

As if by magic, it had started to snow half way through the morning and now there was a white carpet outside; thick enough to be beautiful but thin enough to go for a walk. Greg and Lawrence offered to stay back with all the children while the adults went to get some fresh air. As they walked along, Issy sidled up to Kate and drew her apart from the others.

"Katie, I've got something to discuss with you. There's no easy way to tell you this." Kate felt her stomach knot up. "I've been doing a lot of research lately into neonates with cancer and a hospital in Australia, Westmead Children's, has offered me a two year placement to join their research team." Kate felt her eyes well up; Issy noticed immediately. They walked along for a few hundred metres before she finally said, "that's really great Issy; well done."

"I didn't tell Greg for quite some time, I knew it would be so hard on him and the girls; but he knew something was going on and confronted me. When I told him, like you, he was very happy and proud, but a dark cloud started to form and he hasn't quite stepped out from under it yet."

"When is this supposed to happen?"

"They want me there by Easter."

"Wow that's actually only twelve weeks away. I need to sit with this Issy and of course discuss it with Caroline. The decision is obviously yours and Greg's; but Caroline and I will have to work out how we are going to put it to the girls."

"I know Katie darling; leave it for now, until you have some quiet time together; we can always come up or you come to us in a couple of weeks and we can all sit down and talk it through." She squeezed Kate's hand and they stepped up their pace to catch the others.

When they walked into the house, it was obvious that Greg and Lawrence had been hard at it and all the dishes had been done and everything put away. Caroline heaved a sigh of relief; her obsession with kitchen tidiness meant that she couldn't relax until it was finished to her high standards; she surveyed everything with a critical eye and nodded her approval.

After Christmas cake and cups of tea, everyone started to leave. Kate drove Alan and Celia back round to their house; it was obvious that the cold air would catch him if they tried to walk. The Greenwoods piled into their cars and left with their usual round of horn tooting.

Before leaving, Greg sidled up to Kate; "she's told you hasn't she?"

"Yes she has."

"Well what do you think?"

"Honestly, right now I don't know." She slipped her arm though his and gave him a sideways hug. "Don't worry, we'll sort something out."

With the girls in bed and Ginika back at Celia's, Kate and Caroline started upstairs, leaving the boys watching a movie. Caroline climbed onto the bed still fully clothed and picked up a book that she'd been given as a gift and started to read. Kate lay beside her staring at the ceiling. Looking sideways and catching the faraway look; "Is there something the matter?"

"Yes, there is." Eyes moistening and hand slipping into Caroline's, the situation was exposed.

"Oh God, Kate, what are we going to do? This is the exact downside of having Greg involved, that we've always dreaded. Come here." Caroline ditched the book and gently pulled her wife into her arms. Kate cried softly.


	12. Chapter 12

**Christmas at Ours – Final Part**

 _ **The end to this little Christmas story. Happy times everyone.**_

Boxing Day dawned and Caroline turned over to see her wife lying face up to the ceiling deep in thought; almost exactly the way she had left her when she'd eventually drifted off to sleep.

"Morning, are you OK Kate?"

"Yes, I suppose so, but I just keep going over the different scenarios of how we might tell the girls what's happening; none of which fill me with confidence that it will be understood and or go down well."

Caroline snuggled in and stroked Kate's face; "We will find a way and it will be OK. We've always known that this could happen, but you know, there are other kids out there whose dad's or mum's have to go away; naval and army people for example, and the kids get through it."

"That's true, but it's not just the girls Caroline; Issy is to me what Gillian is for you. Being only children, we get lucky when we find someone who can take the place of a sibling. I'll miss her like mad."

Caroline knew all too well that this would be the case. It had taken her some time to open up completely to the reality of the closeness that was between them. Had they not been lovers, it wouldn't have been a problem; but sometimes that speck of doubt would creep into her head when she heard Kate on the phone to Issy, the length of the calls, the laughter and sometimes the intimate nature of their conversation. However, the one thing that did give her peace was Kate usually if not always, made the calls in Caroline's presence; something she knew her wife did to reassure her.

Today, after having lunch with their father, William was leaving to go and have some time with Roxy's family and Lawrence would stay on; something that had become even more necessary now that he'd broken his wrist. Caroline had taken a call from John, Christmas afternoon. He sounded sad and sorry for himself; she offered him her sympathies but not what she knew he was fishing for, those days were long gone. Ginika had taken an early train to go and spend a couple of days with Kate's aunt.

"We've got today to ourselves, just you and me and the girls. We can do something nice if you like?" Caroline gently tried to lift the flagging spirit lying beside her.

"Yes maybe something outdoors that the girls would like."

Oh dear, knowing that she couldn't retract the offer, Caroline started to realise that she had left herself wide open to possibilities that didn't flash up on her own radar.

Moments later, the girls came running up the stairs. The 'everybody cuddles', part of their daily routine as little ones, had become something that all four of them treasured. The day didn't start well until they'd all snuggled up, albeit some days just for a couple of minutes.

After climbing in, Grace asked, "Mummy, what are we going to do today?"

"What would you two like to do?"

Flora took over; they were nothing if not a tag team and no-one was ever in doubt that their conversations had been carefully crafted and divided up beforehand. "Well, it's been snowing again and we would like to go to Powder Hill and slide down in the snow, on one of those boards."

"You mean tobogganing?"

"I think so, that's what Mikey Dodds told us he was going to do if it snowed."

Caroline started to feel a deep dread sweeping through her; this conversation was going only in one direction. Mikey Dodds might have a lot to answer for; not forgetting the biting incident; was this karma?

Kate could feel the biggest smile starting to explode inside; she knew exactly what would be going on in her wife and the mischief of it all lifted her spirits. "Of course we can, can't we Mama?"

"Er well, we'll have to see how cold it is first and there could be ice around which would make the slope dangerous." Inside all she could think of was 'God please not this; anything but this'. It was in vain.

"Oh I'm sure it will be alright. Come let's all get up and have breakfast and then get rugged up." The girls jumped out of bad and ran off to get their clothes on. If they had been older, there would most certainly have been a 'high five' for victory.

"Kate, really? When I said let's do something nice I was thinking more of a movie or some board games at home."

"I know, but memories are made in snow Caroline and we were in the house yesterday except for a brief walk. Come on it'll be fun." Rolling over she kissed her wife; "I love you so much, you make me feel like there'll always be a solution to things, I'll show you how much later on."

An hour later, everyone was in the car, the boys to be dropped off and the rest in snow suits and boots ready for the fun and games. Lawrence was just a teeny bit jealous; he would have liked a tumble with his little sisters. Such is life.

After dropping the boys, they stopped off at a large local department store, open for the after Christmas sales, where toboggans were flying off the shelves; luckily they were able to pick up four. Caroline protested that they only needed two; Kate ignored her and plonked four down at the checkout.

"Off to Powder Hill are you then?" the check out chic asked. Grace and Flora nodded enthusiastically, Kate smiled; Caroline twitched.

Powder Hill was well populated this morning, though there was still space. They parked the car and pulled on their beanies (bob hats) against the cold wind. The snow was still fairly pristine, white and soft to the touch. As they climbed the hill, Kate dropped back and showed Flora how to make a snowball which they both dispatched in to Caroline's back. Without turning, Caroline called Grace; gave the same instructions and before long there was a great fight – two against two; each one of them managing to fall over in the process. Kate had managed to whip out her phone and take a picture of Caroline arms and legs askew in the snow.

Then followed several dozen trips up and down the slope on their boards; after the first few spills, the girls became quite skilled at turning and stopping; their squeals of enjoyment music to their mothers' ears. Caroline came up behind Kate and leant her chin on her shoulder. "This is good fun." biting her ear as she said it. Mikey Dodds and his parents arrived a while later; they exchanged greeting and set off for their own fun.

After hanging up all their wet clothes and drying off, Kate made some lunch which they all devoured after the exercise. The twins had been given several new DVDs for Christmas and so they chose one and the four of them snuggled upon the lounge to watch it together. It wasn't long before both mothers were snoozing.

They woke to the sound of Kate's mobile. Foraging around for it in her handbag, Issy's face came up.

"Hi there, happy Boxing Day, what have you been doing?"

"We've been out to Powder Hill tobogganing."

"All of you?"

"Yes, the girls and Caroline and me."

"Well, that's a coup." There was a discrete sniggering in the background; no need for explanations.

"What about you?"

"The kids are with my mum and dad at the park and Greg and I have spent the morning deep in thought and conversation. Kate braced herself for what was to come. "I've decided not to take the offer Katie. I think I was just so flattered to have been asked. But it's not really the right thing to do just at this moment."

"But, I thought you were so excited about it? You're not doing this just because of the twins are you?"

"No, although that is a big factor. Greg isn't ready to leave them yet; he feels they're too young to understand why he's going away. Ben's only just started primary school and he's happy; and I would miss you dreadfully my big sis."

"Wow, well I can't say I'm not relieved Issy, but won't you come to regret the opportunity you've given up?"

"Yea, but ever the optimist; if I'm good enough now, I still will be when another opportunity comes up. They did offer me the chance to be part of it long distance; doing research here and just going there a couple of times a year for face to face conferences." They talked on for a while and Kate could feel the tension and worry leaving her. After coming off the phone, she relayed it all to Caroline who was likewise relieved.

Once the movie finished, hats and coats were donned again and they strolled round to see Celia and Alan. The twins regaled them with all the adventures on the snow; Celia's eyebrows rose noticeably when they described Mama falling off her toboggan.

Caroline followed her mother into the kitchen to make some tea. "Mum Alan didn't look too good yesterday, is he alright?"

"No love, he's not." eyes filling with tears. "We saw the specialist last week after Alan had some tests, his heart is very weak now and there's really nothing that can be done. He just has to live a very quiet life."

Caroline pulled her mother into her arms; "Oh mum I'm so sorry." Feeling her own tears accumulate. "You know Kate and I will help in any way we can don't you?"

"Yes love, but there's not a lot anyone can do. We just have to take each day as it comes. One thing that does make this easier for him is that Gillian is settled and happy and she has you and the kids as well as her own family. You do worry when you've got an only child. Ginika and I were only talking about it the other day and saying how lucky our girls were."

As they walked back into the room their hearts filled looking at Alan with a granddaughter under each arm, listening intently to their stories about the snow and the movie they'd just watched. Caroline was grateful that whatever time he had left, her daughters had known and loved him; he was a truly wonderful grandpa.

Twins off to bed, Caroline and Kate curled up with a bottle of wine and some fine cheese and biscuits. They talked about Alan and they both sat quietly for some moments letting it sink in; knowing that sooner rather than later they would be facing their first funeral with the children. Kate's father had passed away when the girls were small and while she made a point of referring to him now and then, they really had no memory of him. No Alan was their grandpa and he had never treated them any less than Gillian's little ones. Caroline realising that she would feel it as much as she did when Kenneth died, maybe even more.

Wine and cheese finished, they moved off to bed. "I think I might like to wear my new Christmas present", Kate whispered seductively. "I think I might like to light mine."

The aroma of the candle soon filled the room; Kate had given Caroline the pleasure of watching her model her new panties, and the even greater pleasure of removing them; the romp in the snow had certainly energised them.

Lying tucked up tightly; "Well it's been an interesting Christmas hasn't it?"

Kate didn't respond for a moment, she just looked at her wife with the all the tenderness that was available. "Yes, it has. Do you remember when I was pregnant and we had our first Christmas here; I asked you then if you were ready for another few years of Santa and all the nonsense?"

"Vaguely."

"I think you've been magnificent."


	13. Chapter 13

**Ora and Ace** ** _– Africa_**

 _ **A trial for Caroline - tested in the fire of separation.**_

Kate looked sideways at Issy and saw that she had dozed off. They were three hours into their flight to Abuja, Nigeria. Dinner was over and as soon as Issy had put her head back on the headrest, Kate had willed her to fall asleep; she was dying to open the two envelopes in her handbag, something she wanted to do alone.

The first envelope had on the front, in very spidery writing 'Mummy'. She kissed the envelope and then opened it, taking out the pink paper.

'Dear Mummy, we hope you have a good trip. We will miss you. Lots of hugs and kisses. We love you. Grace and Flora xxxx.' It was obvious,Caroline had helped them to write it. Kate smiled to herself and, closing her eyes, she remembered the vision of her little girls hugging and kissing her at the departure gate.

Her hands then fondled the other envelope on her lap. 'My darling Kate'. Before opening it, she allowed herself to feel Caroline's arms around her, the touch of their lips as they kissed each other goodbye. Inside, Caroline had written;

'My darling, I'm trying to be brave and let you go with my blessing and love. Please stay safe and come home to me. You know you are the love of my life. The girls and I will think about you every hour of every day. With all my love, Caroline. xxxx'

Her eyes welled up as she read it over and over. _'Yes my darling you are the love of my life too and I will be coming back to you.'_

Her thoughts pulled her back to the evening all this had started.

"Come on leave the dishes, your program is about to start." She patted the sofa beside her. Caroline plonked herself down next to Kate just as University Challenge was starting. They loved to watch it together and had become quite competitive since Kate realised that, unless the questions were science related, she could answer as many as her wife usually.

Not long into the program, Kate's phone began to ring; "I'll leave it."

"No go one it's OK you answer it."

Kate picked it up to see Issy's face looking at her.

"Hi there Katie. How are you?"

"Fine sweetie, how are you and yours?"

"All good here. Is Caroline next to you?"

"Yep, we're just watching a bit of TV."

"Can you put this on speaker; I want Caroline in on this conversation." Kate pressed it to speaker and nodded to Caroline who muted the remote.

"I've got a proposition for you Kate. A few weeks ago, UNICEF contacted me and asked if I would do a placement in Nigeria for a month, looking after some children who need specialist health care."

"Wow that's great Is; are you thinking of going?"

"Yes, I've talked to Greg and he's happy to look after the kids and home for me while I go. The thing is, the other day, they also asked me if I would like to have a support person who could relate to the families and help them to understand what was going on. They said they could supply someone, or I could take someone from here."

There was a deafening silence for some moments as the subtext hit the two women.

"Are you suggesting I go with you?" Kate nervously asked.

"I was hoping you might consider it, after all you do still speak a little of the language and you certainly understand the culture. Mostly, you're just so good with kids."

Caroline was gobsmacked; her mouth hung open as if she'd lost the capacity to close it.

Issy waited with baited breath for some kind of response; she hoped desperately that Kate would say yes.

"Is, I'm going to have to think about this and Caroline and I will need to work through it. It's a bit more complicated for me. Greg works from home, Caroline doesn't and I have my job as well."

"Of course, I fully understand that, but will you at least consider it."

"Yes, yes, we'll consider it. When will it be?"

"In six weeks time. The team are going ahead of me to do the preparation and pick out the kids that will most need my expertise."

After chatting a while longer, the conversation ended. Kate noticed that Caroline hadn't said a word beyond 'hello and bye'.

"Well that was a bolt out of the blue, are you seriously going to consider it?"

"It depends, Caroline; I won't if you don't want me to. If I did go, it would put a huge burden on you not only at home, but at school, having to find someone to take my place."

Kate watched on as Caroline began to bury her fears and feelings and become business-like; insisting that they make a list of pros and cons and take them one by one over the next few days. She knew to let it ride for the moment.

"Caroline, you feel distant and stiff." Kate whispered as she tried to coax her wife into her arms; "what's going on?"

She had been lying in bed staring at the ceiling, eyes fixed, no part of her body touching Kate. Taking a deep breath and pulling together every ounce of courage she had; "I think you know what's going on."

"Are you worried about me going away with Issy, alone, for a month?"

"Yes."

Kate considered her response very carefully. She didn't want to make Caroline feel guilty for being jealous and nervous; she could understand it _. Caroline has been so accepting of your friendship with Issy, you need to cut her some slack here._ Pulling her wife into her arms, she kissed her passionately; "There's nothing for you to be worried about. Eight years ago I made a choice, we made a choice, and I haven't had one day of regret since. I love you more than my own life. We have four beautiful children together; there's not much that isn't perfect."

"God Kate, the thought of you being away from me for four weeks is almost more than I can contemplate. The practicalities are irrelevant; I can work around them. But you, so far away in a potentially dangerous place where I can't get to you; well it's just hard."

As the noise of the aircraft engine whirred outside, Kate allowed herself to re-live that night, wallowing in the memory of their love making and how Caroline had possessed her fiercely and told her over and over that she belonged to her. She pulled the blanket over her as she felt the stirrings in her body .

It had taken them several days of conversations, together and with Issy, before they came to the decision that Kate would go. She had discussed it with her mother at length; Ginika knew some people over there and had assured Caroline that they would look out for the two women while they were at the refugee camp.

Kate noticed that Issy had woken up and was looking at her. "Are you OK?"

"Yes, I was just thinking about Caroline and the girls. They both gave me a letter to read on the plane."

"That's sweet Katie; it's a big thing for Caroline I'm sure."

"Yes, it is. Did Greg have any problems about you being away with me?"

"Yes; actually and surprisingly he did."

Kate smiled; she was pleased to hear that. She thought about saying, _'well we'll just have to be good then.'_ She thought better of it, it wasn't a time for flippancy.

The days at the camp were frantic; some more than fourteen hours long with sleep being a rare commodity. If there'd been even the remotest sparks of sexual energy between the two of them (which there wasn't); their greater need for rest would have overcome them.

Kate was a godsend and her language increased day by day, although many of the families had reasonable English. Her heart was torn as she saw some of the sickest children; many had waited months for treatment. Issy was brilliant and improvised so much in order to eke out the medical supplies they had. Fortunately they had occasional Wi-Fi connectivity and Kate lived for the days or nights she was able to speak to Caroline and or the girls. She missed them dreadfully.

At home, the twins had been seemingly okay but most nights they ended up in bed with Caroline; they needed the security of their mother; not quite understanding why Kate had left them for so long; she was very grateful for their warmth and closeness too.

Work was a welcome distraction each day; with Beverley keeping a close watch over her boss. It was hard to imagine Caroline being more distracted; she'd only seen it once before when she and Kate had split up. "Caroline, I think you should speak about what Kate's doing at assembly this morning;" she coaxed. "The students would be so proud of her." She was hoping that the staff would pick up on it too as a few had remarked about the Principal's vagueness.

Caroline wasn't at all sure she would be able to manage this; she felt very emotional. "Okay."

Toying with her academic gown, she decided on the spur of the moment, not to wear it. Inside she felt bare and vulnerable; she wanted to stand up as a woman and a wife; not their principal.

She stood at the lectern hearing herself; as if in an echo chamber; it felt surreal.

"Young men and women, I'm feeling lonely, distracted and vulnerable at the moment _. 'Am I really saying this?'_ My wife, Kate is in Africa, some of you might know this already. She's been gone for two weeks and our little girls and I miss her so much. She's in a refugee camp working with a doctor friend of ours and they are seeing small children who have some terrible illnesses and no-one so far has been able to help them. I'm very proud of Dr Chiller and Kate, but it isn't a very safe environment and so I just ask that you think of them sometimes and send positive thoughts so that they will both come home to us safely."

There was silence as Caroline walked back to her seat. The staff on stage didn't move; a few glanced at Caroline; this was a whole new side of her; they were moved by her simplicity and genuineness. Suddenly the students rose in applause. Caroline nodded at them as she dabbed a tear away.

The next day, a group of senior students came to see Caroline. They had been chatting during the morning break after the previous day's assembly, and come up with the idea of Kate and Dr Chiller coming to speak to the student body when they came back. They would then run a fund raiser for them. Caroline came around her desk and hugged them, moved by their generosity.

That evening, she was surprised by a facetime call from Kate. The twins were already in bed. "Hello my love, how are you and the girls?"

Caroline was shocked at how thin and tired Kate looked. "The girls are already in bed, darling."

"Will you walk with the phone and let me see them; I miss them so much Caroline."

Caroline ran up the stairs almost two at a time in case the connection dropped out. She held her phone over them and Kate laughed; "I see; who's is sleeping with who here?"

"They are a bit unsettled; they keep asking me when you'll be back. It soothes them to be with me."

"They're very lucky; I wish I could be soothed by you at this moment. I miss you Caroline, more than I can tell you. It won't be long before I'm there with you again."

"You look so tired and thin; I worry about you getting enough food and sleep."

"The people we are helping are so much worse off; Issy and I can manage for a month. try not to worry. Have you spoken to Greg?"

"Yes he called a couple of days ago. I think he's struggling a bit. Little Katie is crying a lot."

"I have to go now darling; they're calling for me. I love you. I'll be home soon." Before Caroline could answer, the line dropped out. When she eventually climbed into bed, she held her daughters tightly and prayed to a God she didn't even know whether existed; begging for Kate to stay safe and come home to her; the thought of anything happening to her filled Caroline with utter dread.

The next two weeks passed by slower than anyone could ever have thought possible. The twins asked everyday; "Mama, is mummy coming home today?" No matter how many times she told them the day and time, they continued to ask.

The day did eventually arrive and Caroline busied herself getting the girls up and ready for an early start. The day before, she had filled the house with flowers; bought Kate's favourite foods; put fresh sheets on their bed and a bottle of French Champagne in the fridge. Greg and his children were going to meet Caroline at the airport.

Kate slept fitfully during the flight; a mixture of exhaustion and excitement; both she and Issy were physically spent. The crew had heard of their rotation and had bumped them up to business class which had helped. She roused herself as the captain announced their descent into Heathrow. Kate had begged Caroline not to drive to London; but she was having none of it and had set off with the girls very early to ensure they were not late. Grace was humming to herself as her mother drove down the motorway; Flora held her sister's hand, even at seven they still needed to be close, something their mothers found very endearing. Caroline knew they would be overwhelmed when they set eyes on Kate; she wondered if her own legs would struggle to hold her as she watched Kate walk out of customs.

After the trauma that is the parking lot at Heathrow, they found a position close to the barrier in the arrivals hall; Greg and the kids arrived about ten minutes later. Just looking at Greg, Caroline could see he had been through a similar endurance test for the last month. Soon the board indicated that the flight from Nigeria had in fact landed. Six pairs of eyes were riveted to the arrivals door.

Flora was the first to spot Kate; "Mummy, Mummy" she screamed and she and Grace ran around the barrier, throwing themselves at her. Caroline could hardly breathe as she set eyes on her wife. Kate walked into her arms and they clung to each other as if their life depended on it; two little girls strapped to their legs.

Issy and Greg and children held on in similar fashion. After exchanging hugs and kisses with each other's families, it was obvious to Caroline and Greg that their wives needed to get home as soon as possible.

The drive home seemed to take forever, the girls talked almost non-stop sharing everything they could think of; Kate was trying hard to be interested but she was obviously struggling. Caroline just wanted to hold her.

About half an hour after they arrived home, the phone rang.

"Caroline, it's mum here; is Kate home safe and sound?"

"Yes thank God, mum, but she's quite exhausted."

"Why don't you bring the girls round and we'll have them for the rest of the day. You can have some time together and then get her off to bed."

"Oh mum, that would be great."

The twins gone, Caroline ran a hot bath and got Kate into it. She sat beside the bath and gently washed her; massaging her shoulders and neck. Kate relaxed into her wife touch and felt the tension leaving her and an overwhelming relief take its place.

Lying in each other's arms at last was like heaven; "I don't think I could go through that again darling;" Caroline whispered; "Every day I prayed nothing would happen to you."

"Nothing did my love; except an experience of suffering and hope that I could never have imagined. Issy was like a miracle worker – she gave her all Caroline."

"I have no doubt that was easier because you were beside her."

"I hope so."

"Why don't you sleep now, you're so tired." Caroline's need to be one with her wife again, could wait a few hours more. There was no answer; Kate was where she should be, wrapped around Caroline, safe in her arms; peacefully asleep. She kissed her gently and sighed deeply; all was right in her world again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Out of Africa – Part One**

 _Is all back to normal in the McKenzie household?_

Caroline woke to an unfamiliar sound; something didn't feel right. She turned over and saw Kate flailing and moaning, her body wet with perspiration. "Kate darling", she gently rubbed her arm, Kate slowly opened her eyes and blinked at Caroline. "What is it? Are you having a bad dream?"

"Yes, I think I must have." She curled up into her wife's arms tucking her face into her neck. "Yes, it was horrible, I was at the camp and some men came in and started shouting and firing guns. I remember trying to run and pick up one of the babies, but my legs didn't seem to move. I kept shouting for Issy but I couldn't see her." Caroline held on tightly, comforting and reassuring her.

The afternoon before, Caroline had slipped off the bed, once Kate had gone into a deep sleep. She'd then gone to Celia's to get the twins and bring them home. After making dinner and getting the girls to sleep, Caroline herself had showered and slipped back in bed. Kate had stirred, and they lay face to face silently soaking up the joy of being together again.

Their need to make love was palpable. Caroline felt an incredible gentleness fill her as she brought Kate close; as if she needed to put fragile parts of her back together again. Kate closed her eyes and melted into the warmth and safety of the hands that were caressing her and bringing her exquisite pleasure; she had seen such sorrow and suffering in some of the people she had been with; she felt almost guilty that here, with her wife, she experienced only love, safety and oneness. Caroline sobbed as Kate cried out, calling her name over and over.

"Every day, I prayed so hard that nothing would happen to you my darling; I found it impossible to contemplate."

"I know, and in the rare moments I had to myself, I prayed the same thing; that I would get home in one piece, to you and the kids. One night there was shelling and gunfire in the distance; Issy and I lay on our cots, hoping, willing them to stay away from the clinic. We were lucky there were soldiers there to at least try to secure the camp."

"Oh God Kate, I'm glad I didn't know that while you were there."

"That's why I didn't tell you my love."

"How was Issy with it all?"

"She was scared, like me, in those moments, but at least we had each other for comfort."

Caroline felt a stab when she heard this; but before it became a wound, Kate whispered, "She said something to me that night." Caroline wasn't at all sure she wanted to hear this. "She looked at me and said; 'if we were to die tonight Katie, I would thank God I had a chance to love you and be part of your life, but I would be even more thankful that you went back to Caroline, as I know without doubt, that I would always have been second best.'

Kate's eyes welled up and she felt a surge of passion; raising herself over her wife, making sure there was no doubt in Caroline's mind or heart, that Issy was right.

Later, sleep had come easily to both of them.

Caroline was conflicted about asking Kate anymore questions about the camp, but this dream left her wondering just what Kate had experienced and how deeply she had been affected.

"Darling, do you want to talk about the camp and what happened there, would it help?"

"I don't know Caroline, I think I might need some time to process it and I don't think it's good for me to fill your head with stuff that might frighten or upset you. What's the point of that?"

"Well, if it would help you to share it and have me understand, I'm OK."

The conversation was cut short as the girls came flying up the stairs and into their bedroom.

"Mummy, mummy" almost as if they weren't sure if she really was back. Jumping straight into bed they kissed her several times and positioned themselves on either side of her; shoving Mama out of the way. "Well don't mind me" she huffed artificially; Kate smirked at her mouthing 'you'll keep'.

Feeling more rested, Kate was ready to ask them more about school and what they had been doing while she was away; it struck her how much she had missed in their little lives; even in just a month.

"I'd better get up Caroline, I must ring Mum and tell her I'm home safely because I know she's been worrying; she tried calling me often but we only made a connection two or three times."

"Ginika knows you're home safely; I spoke at length with her last night while you were asleep; but I'm sure she's waiting to hear your voice. Did you know that she'd had access to one of the top military officials over there? Apparently she went through the Nigerian Embassy in Washington and threatened all kinds of mutilating violence to someone if anything happened to you or Issy."

"God, I didn't know that. Someone at the camp mentioned they thought there'd been an increase in security guards; we didn't notice that of course. She's something else isn't she!"

"Grace, go downstairs and get Mummy's Ipad will you so that we can all talk to Nanny?" Grace hopped out of bed and went to fetch it. A few moments later they were all sitting up in bed talking to her and telling her all their stories. The twins were breathless trying to tell her all their news. Mummy coming home seemed to have faded to a memory for them all of a sudden.

"Seriously darling girl are you really alright. The fellow that I know at the Embassy said he didn't want to frighten me, but he couldn't give me any guarantees about your safety."

"I am OK mum; it was tough there, more than I could have imagined, but like I said to Caroline, the work Issy and her medical team did was unbelievable and the parents were so grateful mum. I kept thinking about the girls and how frantic we would both be if they got really sick; and that's with a top class children's hospital on our doorstep."

"Well you're home safely now; try to relax won't you sweetheart? You'll look after her Caroline?"

"No worries there, you know that. And, I might add, I don't think we'll be going through this again; will we Kate?" staring hard at her wife.

"I doubt it." This was not really the definitive answer Caroline was hoping for but she let it ride for the moment.

While cooking them a lovely big brunch, Caroline's phone messaged. 'Hi Caroline, do you have a moment to ring me? Greg'. Kate had walked the girls round to granny and grandad to say hello but would be back any moment. Curiosity got the better of her and so she turned everything off and rang him back.

"Hi Caroline; how's Kate?"

"She's fine. She's had a really good sleep and seems a bit more relaxed; she's just taken the girls round to mum's so she can let them see the whites of her eyes; they've been really concerned. What about Issy?"

"Well she woke up in a lather of sweat this morning, she'd had a terrible dream; it was all I could do to calm her down."

"Wow, Kate did the same; but she did let it go pretty quickly. I'm so sorry about Issy."

"Yes, well that's not the worst of it. When I told her how distraught I'd been as had you; she just looked at me and said 'well you'd better get used to it darling'. Christ Caroline, they can't be seriously thinking of another stint. Has Kate said anything?"

"No, she hasn't; but when her mother pressed her about whether she would go back she didn't exactly give her a strong negative response either. However, I can tell you, it won't be happening. I can't go through that again, not to mention the girls."

"Let me know if you hear anything Caroline; or even if you suspect."

"I will don't worry. In the meantime it might be a good idea to tell Issy how you and the kids felt."

"Mm, I don't think she's ready for that. She just keeps talking about all the kids she treated and how unfair it is that they are so far away from proper treatment."

Caroline heard the family at the door and so she quickly signed off.


	15. Chapter 15

**Out of Africa – Part Two**

The twins came running in ahead of Kate. "Look what Granny gave us Mama" opening their hands to reveal a rather large chocolate bar each. "Yes well very nice, but not now, we're about to have breakfast. Granny spoils you with chocolate doesn't she?" The chocolate issue was a bone of contention between their two mothers. Caroline felt it was a granny's right to spoil her grandchildren; Kate just wished it wasn't with chocolate all the time.

They all sat up at the table and tucked into the lovely brunch. The twins had fallen big time for Ginika's pancakes and crispy bacon; Caroline had perfected the technique of making them and would occasionally suggest a treat; this morning she wanted to give Kate something special for her first breakfast home. As they ate, Caroline could barely take her eyes off her wife; or join in the conversation, the constant tattle of the girls as they reeled off every detail of what had happened at Granny's; like a rather unfortunate Facebook page; not that she had one. Kate noticed her absence and wondered what was going on.

After cleaning up the kitchen, the girls wandered off to their room to do whatever it was they liked doing in there. Kate made a pot of coffee and sat up at the bench, encouraging Caroline to sit and relax. She was feeling anxious; her wife seemed to be so preoccupied.

"Is there something the matter Caroline?"

"No, why would you ask me that?"

"You seem preoccupied, off somewhere else in your head. I've seen that look often enough to know."

"OK, Greg rang while you were at Mum's. He was just calling to see how you were."

"That's nice of him; did he say how Issy is?"

"Well actually it turns out she had a nasty dream last night as well; sounds as though she was even more rattled than you. Kate I'd really feel better if you told me a bit more about what it was like for you over there."

Before Kate could even contemplate an answer, her phone rang; it was William. "Hi Will, how are you and Roxy?"

"We're fine Kate, but I rang to see how you are and just check for myself that you really did get home safely."

The relationship between the Kate and Will was something to behold. Caroline was at a loss to describe how close they had grown over the last eight or so years. He really relied a lot on Kate's wisdom and his personality fitted her snugly. They chatted for a while about Africa and what she'd been doing there; both Roxy and he had lots of questions.

"Kate, I just want to say one thing before I go."

"Go on." She was no fool and had a very good idea of what might be coming.

"Mum was a train wreck while you were away. I've never had so many calls; mostly about nothing other than connecting; she was lonely and scared; scared like I've never heard her before. One weekend when she rang, she sounded so rattled that Roxy and I were ready to drop everything and drive up."

"I suspected that Will. I'm just realising what she endured; but I'm home now, so you don't need to worry."

"Like don't need to worry for the time being; or don't need to worry at all?"

"I can't answer that today Will, just trust me."

Caroline had disappeared during the call; busying herself making beds and tidying up, somehow she just didn't want to hear all the extracurricular chatter about Africa, it unsettled her.

Grace came out of their bedroom and climbed on to Kate's lap. "Mummy, I'm glad you're home, I missed you." She was the one with Kate's sensitive temperament; Flora was bustle and confidence in contrast, something Kate felt Caroline had firmly imprinted on her.

"I missed you too chicken."

"You won't leave us again will you mummy?"

How to dance around this question; it was a difficult one; she never wanted to promise things she couldn't deliver. Nor did she have any idea that Caroline was at the top of the stairs listening for the answer to her daughter's very straightforward question. The wait for an answer was excruciating for each of them.

"Grace, mummy can't promise that she will never leave you. Sometimes life means that one of us will have to be away. Remember last year, Mama was away for a conference in London?"

"Yes; but not for long like you."

'No and not in a shit hole like the one you went to'; Caroline thought, her temper rising up; her thought intemperate. Kate didn't answer Grace's last statement; and that made her even more agitated.

The girls had gone to the neighbours for a couple of hours to play with their daughter; this left the two women alone for the first time that day.

"Caroline would you like to talk now? Come and sit here with me; come and be close." Caroline walked over and sat beside her wife, who immediately pulled her into her arms, kissing her forehead and stroking the creases that were furrowing there.

"I know it was hard for you while I was gone; I don't need anyone to tell me that; I just need to look into your eyes."

"It wasn't hard, it was hell." There now she'd said it. "I was scared Kate; scared everyday that I might lose you. Some days I was angry; I asked myself, 'how can she put our life together in such jeopardy? She wanted to be someone's mum so badly yet she'd leave our girls."

Kate sighed and remained silent for some moments. "Caroline, darling, I had such a sheltered and comfortable upbringing; but my work at the African support centre really taught me a new reality. It just became part of me to want to give back; to support people, my mother's own people, who are suffering."

"Well, why couldn't you just continue with that? Why put yourself in such danger when you have responsibilities here?

"That's what I want...

"You can't be serious! I won't go through that again...

"Caroline, stop! Just listen...

"No Kate, I'm not going to listen to any more talk of ...

"Caroline; stop it!" she covered her wife's mouth with her own, kissing her deeply. "I'm not going to do that; please just listen; you're getting yourself worked up for nothing."

Caroline exhaled deeply and let herself relax. "I love you" she whispered, "so very much".

"I know, and now that you've calmed down I'll tell you more about Africa and what I can do out of Africa. I was talking to one of the camp officials while I was there and I told them about my work at the shelter here. He reminded me that a lot of the newly arrived people, from camp such as the one we were in, end up needing help here as refugees."

"Well, I suppose that makes sense. Is there something they want you to do?" she paused and took a deep breath.

"They asked me if I would be willing to be on the advisory board for their resettlement program."

"Oh, right, well where would that be and what would it entail?"

"It's in Birmingham Caroline, and it would mean me going down there maybe once a month and also doing some work from home; you know Skype calls and teleconferencing. It pays a small salary, and so I thought maybe I could become part time at school like I did after the girls were born; what do you think?"

"Does Issy know about this?"

Kate hesitated for a moment and her eyes started to fill. "Yes she does and she's hoping I say no."

"Why?"

"Because she isn't finished with Nigeria Caroline and she wants me there with her." She looked down at the carpet; not wanting to look her wife in the eye; she couldn't bear to see the pain and panic that she knew would be there.

Caroline didn't respond. Why was it she thought, that all of a sudden, there seemed to be this need in Kate to venture out; was their life becoming too predictable; too comfortable for her; or God forbid, was it something else?

"Would you consider going back there with her?" the words came out slowly and deliberately.

"No Caroline I wouldn't. If I was still single then maybe I would be brave and strong enough; but I have you and the kids to consider; enough said."

Caroline put her hands under Kate's chin and lifted her face up. "How long have the kids gone for?" slipping her arm around her waist, leaving Kate in no doubt what she would like to do. However it was not to be; Kate's phone rang again.

"Katie, have you got a moment?" It was Issy and she sounded very upset.

"Yes, that's ok;" switching her phone to speaker and settling down with her head on Caroline's chest.

"Greg and I have just had an almighty fight and he's thrown the kids in the car and driven off." Kate could hear the sobs beginning to rise to the surface.

"What's happened?"

"As you can imagine, he wasn't thrilled when I told him I wanted to do another stint. I kept trying to reassure him that I would be OK and that more than likely you would be with me again." She stopped to try to control the lump in her throat that was waiting to emerge.

Caroline looked directly into Kate's eyes with a look that was sorrowful but determined that Kate must tell her unambiguously that she would not be going. There could be no false hope in this situation and Kate knew it.

"I'm so sorry Is, I really am. Do you not think he might be a bit too raw to hear that so soon?"

Amidst sniffles and nose blowing; "I suppose so, but he kept pushing me; especially after the horrible nightmare I had last night; which apparently had me writhing and yelling out."

"Issy, there's no easy way to tell you this and no more appropriate time; I can't go back there with you. It's out of the question. I'm not strong enough; not to carry my own fear and certainly not to put Caroline through the hell she's had this last month."

Caroline's arms wrapped even tighter around her. This was such a poignant moment. Yet another and even deeper expression of what she meant to her wife; even after the years they had been together, there were moments like these where she had to dig deep to find even more room for something she had never experienced until she met Kate. Sometimes her mind would drift back to the conversation they'd had in the garden at Conway Drive; when John had been such a pig and Kate had come round to console her. 'I don't know what normal relationships are like; I see them, but I don't know how to do them'. Kate was still teaching her.

"Oh God Katie, I thought with a bit of rest and a catch up with Caroline, you might be wanting to come back with me."

"A catch up with Caroline? Issy, if you think 24hrs is sufficient to have me wanting to go back, you are seriously misguided. If anything it's the other way round."

There was silence on the other end as Issy tried to regain her composure and not say something she would later regret. "So you really won't come back?"

"No Issy I won't and that's definite. I was just telling Caroline about them asking me to work here as a liaison person. We will need to discuss that a bit more. My role in the camp was good Issy, I know I made a difference, but it's not as vital, (and here she chose her words carefully) as any of the doctors and nurses."

There was a deep sigh from down the phone; no words of resignation were suffice, and so she just said simply; "Ok Katie. Thank you for being honest. I guess this is something for me and Greg to resolve."

"Yes, yes it is." A few moments later there was a cursory sentence or two about how they both were and a comparing of nightmares; however both had their reasons to terminate the call as quickly as they could.

"Again I ask the question, how long are the girls gone for?" Kate slipped her hand under Caroline's sweater and deftly pushed up her bra. She felt Caroline stir as she touched her.

"Long enough."


	16. Chapter 16

**My Funny Valentine**

 _This is a bit late for V. Day - I have to admit being otherwise occupied! Just a little one off - for our lovely couple._

Caroline took her glasses off and lay back into her office chair, staring out onto the drizzly February day; drifting back to Valentine's Day ten years ago. She and Kate had got to a point in their relationship where they knew it was going somewhere.

"Caroline, this has just arrived for you." Beverley bustled into her office with a very large spray of multicoloured roses. She looked rather puzzled as she handed them over to her.

Caroline smiled; "who are they from, is there a card?" with such a manufactured response.

"Of course there's a card and of course I'm not going to open it." She said with a dismissive flourish and left the room.

She pulled the card out of the packaging and opened it. 'To my funny Valentine; Are we or aren't we? Will we or won't we?' She knew exactly who they were from and was smirking at her cheek sending them to school. Caroline felt a rush of feeling as she thought of Kate. _'Well Ms McKenzie, you'll shortly get a dose of your own medicine'_. She'd ordered flowers for Kate to be delivered to the front reception desk at lunchtime. That way they would be on full view when she went to collect them.

"Kate!" one of her colleagues called along the corridor. "They just called from the front desk and asked if you would go and pick up a parcel."

"Ok thanks, I'm on my way."

The two women who worked in reception were smiling from ear to ear as Kate approached them. "For you Kate, aren't they beautiful? Someone must really fancy you." Kate stared at the enormous display of flowers on the counter; she could feel herself blushing and becoming increasingly embarrassed.

"Thank you, this is a surprise;" smiling through her desire to just pick them up and run before any other observers arrived. She left reception and headed for the staff room knowing that word would already have reached the room ahead of her; there was absolutely no point in trying to hide them.

Questions flew at her from all sides "Who is he McKenzie; come on cough it up."

"None of your collective business if you don't mind."

She opened the card; it simply said; 'Tonight, 7.00pm Enzo's Italian. Can't wait xx'. Caroline had decided to use the evening to ask Kate to move into Conway Drive.

Moments later Beverley swanned back into Caroline's office waving a piece of paper; "your invoice for Kate's flowers has just been faxed through from the florist." Caroline looked up at her "How..."

"Serves you right for using the school's regular florist! They always send the invoices to me including who they're for. Sorry Caroline." There was no hint of sorrow on her face, simply a wide smile of victory.

Caroline swivelled her chair around and shook the images from her head and replaced her glasses, trying to focus on all the correspondence waiting on her desk. It was not to be. She was straining under the weight of her memories; Valentine's Day was so significant for them both. The initial decision to go ahead and allow themselves to fall deeply in love; the proposal; and since then, the celebration of who they had become as a couple and a family.

It was unrelenting today as she drifted back to that first Valentine's evening and how nervous she'd been working out how exactly she was going to suggest the move. She felt fairly confident that Kate would be up for it, but it was a very new experience for her. She and John had not moved in together until they were married; previous to that she'd only ever had flatmates.

She watched Kate walk along the road to the restaurant and felt herself melting as she looked at her; just so beautiful. They enjoyed a spectacular meal and flowing conversation, punctuated by periods of silence when they simply stared at each other as they ate; drinking in the strong stirring feelings.

"Oh guess what." Caroline threw out.

"What?"

"You should have seen John's face when I arrived home with the flowers. He'd bought me a small box of chrysanthemums, which I can't stand, and which he'd probably grabbed at the local petrol station; and his face went ashen when he saw your gorgeous roses."

"So, John's still at the house? Obviously still has feelings for you?"

"John comes and goes Kate. He's all over the bloody shop; he knows full well that a bunch of limp chrysanthemums are not going to cut it because as I told him for the umpteenth time, it's OVER John; just try and get it."

Suddenly her intercom buzzed dragging her back into the present moment. "Caroline, the Watsons are here for their interview."

"Oh err yes, gosh sorry, can you just offer them a cup of something and tell them I'll be five minutes. Thanks."

Shuffling through the paperwork on her desk she quickly found and re-read their correspondence and tried to pull herself into the right headspace. She spent the next twenty minutes working through the Watson's issues, feeling as though they were intruding in her sacred space; impatient for them to leave so that she could resume her walk down memory lane.

"Kate I've got a suggestion; I was wondering, no I am hoping, that you would perhaps think of moving in with me and the boys?"

Kate's mouth dropped open; she stared intently at Caroline for some moments. "Yes Caroline I would like that." Caroline reached out and discretely put her hand over Kate's; "Thank you darling. As soon as you feel ready, I'll come and help you fetch whatever you need to bring over."

"Tomorrow suits me fine, after school? In the meantime, do you need to go home tonight?"

"Technically no, John's there, but I will slip home before the boys get up." With that they got up, paid the bill and drove back to Kate's. Caroline sent a text to John to say she wouldn't be home and then switched off her phone; making sure there would be no comeback.

She knew she couldn't allow herself to stay in that particular moment; it would have been far too arousing and she still had most of the day to go. She wondered how Kate was feeling. She was returning from her work in Birmingham this afternoon having been away for two days; and Caroline closed her eyes and visualised Kate on the train, leaning back and floating back to their first Valentine's Day, as she had been. A while later a message popped up on her screen; 'on train, on time, longing to see you. K. xx

On the way home that afternoon, Caroline stopped for flowers, chocolate and bubbly. The evening before she had set up the lounge to reflect the Valentine's night she'd proposed. She couldn't help but think about all Kate had put up with between their first and second celebrations; it was a memory she felt deeply connected to, as it served to remind her just how much her wife must love her then and now, to have hung on through it all. She smiled as her thumb fondled her wedding ring.

By the time Kate got home, the girls were fed and bathed and after some cuddle time with their mummy, Caroline put them to bed.

The lights were dimmed and the same string of fairy lights hung beautifully around the fireplace. The champagne was on ice and the cheeseboard ready. The heart shaped chocolate box waited ready to be opened.

They both sighed as they lay side by side on the couch.

"Happy Valentine's Day darling" Kate whispered. "I've got something else for you, beside the card, the flowers and the chocolat."


	17. Chapter 17

**A Tin Anniversary – with complications – part one**

 _Changes are afoot for our lovely family. Life throws up all kinds of challenges._

Caroline looked up from the seemingly endless pile of papers on her desk, and out into the garden where Kate and the girls were dead heading the winter bulbs that were coming to an end. Through the open window, she could hear them chattering away about what plants they might put in for the summer. Kate had a hard and fast rule that for every hour they spent on something electronic, they had to put at least a half hour in the garden; fortunately the twins seemed more than amenable.

She put her pen down and inhaled the beauty and simplicity of what she saw. The longer they were together, the more life with Kate and their kids was all she needed, surprisingly; being an academic held less and less appeal. The best moment of most of her days was getting home; changing into something comfy and letting go of all the day's tension, just being around her wife and girls. At fifty six, however, she had a massive decision to make soon.

The deal had always been that when the girls were ready for secondary school, they would go to Sulgrave Heath and Caroline would leave. Kate had promised her that as a compromise for them going to the local primary school. Caroline was determined they would go; she felt that Sulgrave would develop them both to their capacity.

Grace was turning out to be quite artistic like her genetic parents and Flora was sharp and scientifically orientated; if anyone was interested in a PhD on nature verses nurture they need only visit the Mckenzie-Dawson household. Flora was a miniature Caroline in so many ways; not to mention having the sensitivity of her brother, William.

Only the other day, out of nowhere, Flora had announced; "when I leave school I think I'd like to do what Issy does Ma, look after sick children." "Yes well sweetheart that's a great idea, but you'll have to work hard for that." She regretted saying it instantly; Flora was nothing if not a hard worker, in contrast to her sister who preferred to dance or tinkle the ivories rather than complete her homework, and if Lawrence happened to be home, they would spend hours creating new scenarios for the comic characters, who despite his age, he still enjoyed.

All this musing brought Caroline to the stark reality that she was going to have to decide either to take early retirement or embark on a second career. She and Kate had discussed it over and over and Kate always came back to the same position; that it was Caroline's choice ultimately. Kate was now working full time for the African Migration Coalition. She mostly worked from home these days, with fortnightly trips to London, where their headquarters had re-located.

"Caroline, are you in the study? We're going to have some lunch now, are you ready?"

The words 'the study' bruised her ears. Since Kate started working from home, she had been forced to give up half the retreat so that she could also have an office space. It cramped her style and it sometimes irritated her that Kate was messy and wanted pictures and photos everywhere; not to mention the two strappy pot plants she'd lugged upstairs.

Caroline ambled downstairs and joined them in the kitchen. Once they'd eaten and the twins had described in great detail what summer flowers they were contemplating, the two women found themselves alone curled up on the couch.

Kate ran her fingers through her wife's hair and stroked her temples; one of her favourite pastimes. "Caroline, I've been thinking. You know that it's our tin anniversary this year?"

"Our what?"

"Tin anniversary, you know the tenth year is signified by tin. Remember on our fifth wedding anniversary we bought the wooden garden seat, because five is wood."

"Yes I do remember that. I remember you sitting me down on it and reminding me that some years before I'd sat on my wooden seat in Conway drive and told you I didn't know what normal relationships were."

Kate smiled and kissed her gently; "My, what a long way you've come my darling."

"Well anyway, go on."

"Why don't we do something special?"

"Like what? Would you like to go out and buy some new kitchen utensils, you know; saucepans and graters – all things tin or aluminium?"

"No; don't be stupid, I was thinking maybe we could go to New York and leave the girls with my mum and Ruth, and you and I could go to somewhere really special for a week."

"I'd love that you know I would, but I'm worried about leaving mum alone for too long."

They both fell silent as they drifted off into their own thoughts; Kate struggling to accept yet again that Celia always seemed to have to come first; Caroline reliving the fateful morning six months ago that had changed her mother's life.

She had woken from a deep sleep, her phone ringing loudly on the bedside table. It was some moments before she was coherent enough to realise it was not a dream. She looked momentarily at Kate, who hadn't stirred.

"Mum? What is it, are you alright?" Five thirty in the morning; this could only be bad news.

"Caroline, it's Alan; he won't wake up, Caroline please! I don't know what to do." Her mother's voice was hysterical.

"Mum, don't panic. I'll call an ambulance and then I'll be there as fast as I can. Hold on, it's going to be Ok." However, something told Caroline it would not be.

Kate woke up, "What's going on?"

"It's mum; something's happened to Alan. Can you ring an ambulance while I get some clothes on, and ring Gillian and tell her what's happened?"

Caroline grabbed the car keys and the keys to her mother's cottage, rushed to the car and sped round the corner; her stomach wrapping itself into tighter knots the closer she got. Letting herself in, she ran quickly up the stairs to find her mother sitting on the bed, a cold limp hand held to her cheek; a mantra of 'wake up Alan' barely audible.

"Mum, what's happened?"

"I got up to go to the toilet and when I came back, I rolled over near to Alan and felt his arm. He's cold Caroline and he won't move;" tears cascading down her face.

Caroline took his hand which was indeed cold and lifeless. She put her face close to his, straining to feel even the slightest whiff of breath; nothing; no pulse. She sat next to her mother and gently cradled her; "Mum, he's gone." "I know" Celia whispered through a haze of tears. Gillian had arrived soon after and Caroline ached for the pain and devastation she saw on her step-sister's face.

Kate and Caroline had decided it would be best to tell the girls straight away. They were clearly confused and unable to take it in. Against her better judgement, Caroline tried to explain it more. "He's gone to sleep forever and now he's in heaven. He's happy and not sick anymore; but we are all upset and missing him; especially granny."

"Why did God take him away from us ma?"

"He was getting very sick darling and his heart was hurting. He wanted to feel better and to rest."

Flora's brow furrowed; "So if we go to granny's house will grandpa not be there anymore?"

"No darling you won't see him anymore. But he can see us and will always love us and watch over us. Grandpa loved you both very much didn't he?" She felt she was digging a deeper hole for herself; there would be more questions for sure; Flora would want to penetrate the heart of what it all meant and Caroline would not wish to answer at this point in time. She certainly didn't want them posing all sorts of questions to Granny.

Both girls were visibly upset; they clung to their mothers who cuddled them tightly; all four weeping.

Since that morning, and even more so since Alan's funeral, Gillian and Caroline had become very close. The impact of his death had ultimately been a positive force between the two families who had vowed to stay connected; not only for Celia's sake but for the younger ones who had grown up as extended family; blood ties had never seemed to be an issue.

She was brought back to the present; "Caroline, I know Celia still needs a lot of support and of course we must be there for her; but my mother is getting older too and I want her to have time with the girls while she can still do stuff with them."

"I know Kate, I know. I suppose, being only children has its problems in these circumstances."

"Yes, and we're both dealing with that; but you do have Gillian as a back up like I have Ruth keeping an eye on mum."

"Ok, we'll think about it and I'll broach the subject with mum and Gillian and see if we can organise something."

Kate played with a strand of Caroline's hair, twisting it round her finger, "I love Sundays when it's just the four of us, or if we're lucky, six."

"I know, and you know that I used to get an excited feeling about going back to be headmistress at Sulgrave on Monday mornings; I don't have that anymore. It's almost as if I've come to the end of a line and all I can see ahead is more of the same."

"Why don't you opt for early retirement Caroline and do some casual lecturing, you know the university in York or Leeds would eat you up, for Chemistry or Education."

Caroline sighed; nothing really excited her at the moment...except.


	18. Chapter 18

**A Tin Anniversary – The secret – part two**

Kate walked into their study and Caroline immediately closed the lid on her laptop; looking a little sheepish in the process. She'd noticed her do this several times in the past two or three weeks; and been tempted to look at the browsing history when Caroline was out of the room, but thought better of it.

"I've got all the travel stuff sorted Caroline, we leave next Friday on the morning flight, Mum and Ruth will pick us all up."

From behind a veil of distraction, Caroline muttered her agreement and thanks.

"What are you going to do about the travel insurance for Celia?"

"Oh, I found a company that will insure her for accidents, but not pre-existing stuff; cost a bloody arm and a leg but she seemed happy enough to fork out. She's quite excited about coming with us, it may be the tonic she needs."

"Well I'm glad because I know you'll relax more and that's what matters." Kate wrapped her arms around Caroline's neck and kissed her cheek; "why did you just close your computer when I came into the room?"

"Not for any particular reason."

"I don't believe you my darling, but since I doubt you were looking at porn or a dating site, I'll just have to trust you."

"You will, you will. I have all the porn I need right here on tap, and in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not dating anymore; I'm taken," putting her head back accepting an upside down kiss.

A month previous, Caroline had been lying in Kate's arms after a particularly beautiful and deeply satisfying session of love making; Kate had drifted off to sleep and Caroline was lost in contemplation. ' _I'm part of something extraordinary here_.' For no comprehensible reason, she closed her eyes and imagined herself committing it all to a story; thoughts, words, feelings, all suddenly buzzing as if their loving had brought them out of hibernation. She eased herself out of Kate's grasp and walked into their study; opening her laptop she began to write and it was almost dawn before she was able to stop. The story was born; a love story spanning two families, the Dawson and the McKenzies and two women who were very much in love. At five o'clock, she shut down her laptop and crept back into bed before Kate woke up.

"Promise you won't tell Kate Ginika."

"I promise darling girl."

Caroline had been speaking to Ginika one day when Kate was out and during the conversation had told her about her writing adventure. "I've nearly finished it and I'm going to get it copied and bound for Kate for our tenth wedding anniversary. I'll give it to her when we are away at the cabin." An old colleague of Ginika's from Columbia had a house by a lake in up-state New York and she had hired it out for them to take a week away together while she had the twins. Celia would stay with her in New York. The two grandmothers had over the last ten years grown into an 'odd couple' who had at the heart of their friendship, the joy of their respective daughter's happiness and their beautiful grandchildren.

Ginika had taken a punt and sent Caroline a link to a writers competition that the Columbia Literary Society were running, for the best unpublished novelette; encouraging her daughter in law to enter her story. Caroline had sent Ginika a couple of chapters to proof read and critique and the response was overwhelming. "Your ex husband used to write novels didn't he; I seem to remember he wrote stories of Jack Prothero?"

"Yes, he did and was quite successful before the drinking started,"

"Well my girl, in my humble opinion this would leave him for dead!"

Caroline was quite taken aback by the enthusiasm and after much inner debating, on the spur of the moment one morning pushed the send button and away it went. Two weeks later she was advised it had made the final four and she was invited to be present at the announcement of the winner.

In bed that night, she snuggled up to Kate; "I've got something to tell you."

"What?"

"You know how you implied I'd been hiding something on my laptop?"

Kate felt an unease come over her, not at all sure of what she was about to hear. "Yes, go on."

"Well, one night after we made love I was overwhelmed by a sense of being part of something beautiful and extraordinary and had a sudden idea, inspiration, call it what you will, to write a love story for you, for an anniversary present."

Kate was shocked, "You wrote a story for me?"

"Yes my darling."

"Well what's it called? What's it about?"

It's called 'The Effect you have on Me' and it's the story of two women, Liz and Abi, who fall in love."

Kate began to giggle, "Liz and Abi as in Caroline Elizabeth and Kate Abike?"

"The very same."

Kate pulled Caroline close; "Wow that's so romantic, tell me all about it."

Caroline proceeded to outline the general idea of the story but insisted in the end that it would be much better for Kate to wait and read it when they were away at the cabin, alone.

"But there's something else. After I'd written three or four chapters, I had an idea to ask you mother to check it over and see if she thought I was being daft."

"My mother! My mother's read it?"

"Only a couple of chapters, not the sexy bits. Anyway, if you'll let me finish, she thought it was good enough to enter a writing competition at Columbia – you know for new unpublished amateur writers, so I did."

"You sent it in?"

"Yes, two weeks ago, and today I got an email from them telling me I was in the last four and inviting me to the presentation of the award in New York."

Kate was gobsmacked and lay motionless and silent for quite some time.

"Wow, well that's great darling. So when does all this happen?"

"The week after we've been to the cabin, so you'll have read it by then. It won't come to anything Kate; it really is just intended to be a love story for you."

"Caroline?"

"Mm"

"How about we recreate that night and you can show me what was so special."

They arrived in New York after much hustle and bustle, Celia had needed considerably more help to get organised than Caroline had anticipated. Luckily Kate managed to clear a couple of days to help her.

The twins were over the moon to see Nanny Ginika and their aunty Ruth; knowing full well they were in for a week of being spoiled. The first few days passed quickly and soon it was time for Caroline and Kate to drive up-state. Ruth had lent them a car and they loaded up food and drink for the week and set off. Caroline had checked and double checked to make sure the book was safely tucked away in her luggage.

They passed their week lazily enjoying the beautiful scenery, the quiet and the pure joy of having time alone. Kate had devoured the book and was rightly amazed at the latent talent that had emerged as Caroline wrote their love and life story into her novel. Her mother was right; indeed it was a brilliant piece of work.

The night of the awards arrived and Caroline was seized by utter stage fright. What if she came fourth? She wasn't exactly used to being relegated to a lower spot. But she was able to convince herself in the end, that getting to the stage she had was indeed unexpected and a great honour. The organisers had warned all the potential winners to have a short speech prepared and that one friend or family member may also speak for them. Celia had insisted that she would like to be the one. Kate had deferred to her as she felt she may be too emotional if Caroline were to win.

As both women put the final touches to their make-up and jewellery, Kate sidled up to her wife. "I'm so proud of you, I know you'll win. Thank you for writing such a beautiful story for me, for the world to share. You're magnificent. Have I ever told you that?" Caroline kissed her long and deep. "Come on let's go."

After the inevitable explanations of the reason for the competition and a description of the competitors and their stories, the sponsor of the award got up and announced the two top manuscripts. "The runner up is" Kate slipped her hand into Caroline's "Tom Mc Farlane for his story 'To war and home again'." There was a burst of applause and he stepped forward to receive a hearty handshake and a cheque for $5000. "And now to our winner for this year, "Caroline McKenzie-Dawson for her story, 'The effect you have on me'; a wonderfully tender, sometimes humorous and obviously deeply personal story of love."

Caroline stepped forward amidst the applause, receiving a winner's check for $20,000. She smiled as she wiped away a tear. "Thank you, thank you everyone. This is overwhelming and something a month ago I could never have contemplated." She then proceeded to describe the origins of the story and dutifully thank those who had encouraged her; her mother-in-law and the sponsors; the judges. She then turned to her wife; she pulled her close and put her arm around her waist. "For those who don't know us, this is my wife, Kate, she is the inspiration for my story; she's the love of my life. This prize is for her, because without her love and constant support there would have been no story to tell."

Celia rose out of her seat and with Kate's help walked the three steps up onto the rostrum.

"I'm Caroline's mother and tonight I couldn't be more proud of her. She smart, academic, kind, loving and has always been a wonderful daughter." She paused and looked over, seeing tears in Caroline's eyes. "However, I haven't always been her biggest supporter; in fact on more than one occasion I have let her down badly and caused a lot of heartache and trouble. You see, I couldn't accept who she is, erm, what she is. She was a wife, a mother and a very successful headmistress and I was very self satisfied with that; I loved boasting about her to anyone who would listen. Then she met my wonderful daughter-in-law, Kate. They fell in love, married and have two beautiful daughters."

"This story was hard reading for me in some places; it's a novel yes, but based on Caroline and Kate's own love story. To be here tonight, to be so proud of who she is and what she's achieved, well I only hope it can go some way to healing the wrongs of the past. Caroline, Alan, your step-father, was always proud of you and he grew to love you all very much. I know he's here, smiling down."

Caroline rose to her feet amid tremendous applause and hugged her mother like she'd never let her go. "Thank you mum, I love you." She whispered.

The after-awards cocktail party was in full swing. Caroline kept Kate close as she navigated her way through the people who wanted to meet her; lots of Ginika's colleagues and friends. One chap in particular kept eying Caroline and eventually when the numbers had diminished somewhat he moved in.

"Congratulations, Dr McKenzie-Dawson. I've had the privilege of reading your script, as I am one of the judges. My name is Nicholas Schindling and I am one of the executives of Blue Productions; we are a North of England TV production company."

"Well, thank you for your kind words, and please call me Caroline; this is my wife Kate." He exchanged a handshake and cursory greeting with Kate, but it was obvious he wanted to engage with Caroline.

"Caroline, I really like your story; we've been looking for something like this for a while. We did have one from another experienced writer, but we felt in the end it was a little too dark. This however has great possibilities for a several part TV drama."

"Oh gosh no it's really just a gift for Kate, for our tenth wedding anniversary."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take away from the personal nature of your writing; but since you've made the move to put it in the public arena, as in this competition, I'm just getting in before other publishers or script writers do."

Caroline was very taken aback at the idea that there may be some vying going on for the rights to her story. This was altogether something new. Kate loved the story and told her over and over how wonderful it was and that it was as good as any novel she had read; however Caroline had simply taken that as spousal encouragement.

"Caroline would you and Kate come with me for a moment please?" They followed him out of the room and over to a secluded corner where it was quieter. "I'm going to give you an envelope and in your own time I'd like you to open it and then seek advice as to whether you feel what I have written inside is something you feel you could accept, and if you think the offer is fair. My business card is in there and should you be amenable to it, give me a ring before Friday which is when I leave to go back to the UK."

Caroline took the envelope he gave her and smiled. He thanked them both, wished them a good night and left. "God Kate, what the hell just happened?"

"I'm not sure darling but I think you might be pleasantly surprised. Come on, let's go and find mum and Celia, it's getting late and we need to get them back to the apartment." Caroline put the envelope into her bag. It would keep until they were alone.

After kissing their daughters and tucking them up again they climbed into bed themselves. Caroline got the envelope from her bedside table; "Shall we have a ceremonial opening?"

"Hurry up Caroline; I'm dying to see what's in there."

After reading it over twice, in absolute shock at what they saw, Caroline was first to speak; "Kate, this offer for the script is nearly twice my annual salary!"

"I know, God that's amazing."

"Then they're offering me the chance to assist on the actual script writing with a retainer; and then a percentage of all the royalties."

"I think my darling, you may have just received the answer to your dilemma about the future, don't you think?"

"Well it does excite me like nothing has for a while."

"Nothing or no-one?"

"You know the answer to that Mrs Mckenzie-Dawson or should I just call you Abi? Pick a page!"

With that they lost themselves in the story.


	19. Chapter 19

Blue Productions – Part One

Caroline eased up off her knee pads and plonked herself down on the bench. She loved this time of the year, spring coming to an end and the beginning of summer, the garden bursting into colour. She looked over at her two beautiful daughters who were engrossed in weeding their own little patch where they grew herbs and tomatoes. Gardening together for an hour with them was something she liked to do when Kate was in London overnight for meetings. It was several years now since Kate became involved in the African refugee program and she was highly thought of and respected for her determined and tireless work on their behalf.

Caroline's world had also changed since she penned their love story. She had, true to her word, resigned from Sulgrave and the girls were just about to complete their first year of high school there. The success of her novel had been overwhelming, sales had been constant, especially on line; and the TV series was nearing readiness. It had been thrilling to be part of the direction in an advisory capacity, watching the talented actors translate her thoughts and emotions. Kate had come to a few of the shooting sessions and found it amazing to stand back and see what Caroline had committed to paper about her feelings for her wife.

"Ma, Ma, hello." Caroline looked up to see Flora standing over her. "Sorry darling, I was miles away."

"Yes Ma; and I bet you were in London, thinking about Mum, you two are something else."

Caroline grinned at her, "well, aren't you glad that mum and I still love each other so much? You know how much I miss her even when she's only away for a couple of nights." Flora smiled and shook her head. "Honestly!"

Caroline had actually been remembering the week before when Greg and Issy had been up with their children and had asked Caroline and Kate if they could have a serious conversation about their role in the girls' lives. It was something the women knew would eventually come up but they had managed to resist at least for the formative years. Greg shrugged his shoulders in a bid to ease the tension he felt, his voice was soft but steady;"I know that so far we've had a really good and safe situation for the girls, but we feel that it's perhaps time to widen our involvement and to give them a chance to have a say. They are twelve now and soon they'll be facing questions and so will we all."

Kate looked down for moment; then she faced Caroline, "I think we have to discuss this darling." Caroline hesitated for the briefest of moments and then nodded.

"You know my mum and dad are not getting any younger, and they have been so patient and understanding about the situation. I'd like them to get to know the girls and have time with them before it's too late. We'd also like the chance for them to stay over with us and take holidays with Ben and Katie."

Issy had been significantly quiet during the discussions. She knew the hesitancy both Kate and Caroline felt. The women had worked hard at creating a family with the boys and their respective grandparents. This was a such a widening of their circle, a whole new double set of grandparents and aunties and uncles; as there would be no doubt that Issy's family would want to be part of it too.

Caroline looked hard from Greg to Issy, "OK well you know this is something that won't come easily for us, that being said, we don't want to be unfair or unrealistic. I do think though that we have to talk to the girls first, just Kate and me, on our own."

This had been agreed on by everyone and the tension dissipated for the rest of the day. They stood up and hugged and then looked out on to the garden where the kids were all happily playing together. What could go wrong?

"Ma, ma", Grace called out, "I think we've finished now. OK if we stop, I'm hungry and ready for tea."

Caroline packed everything away in the shed and they all went inside ready to make a homemade pizza each. Caroline often indulged the girls when Kate was away as their mum was still quite strict about their diet. As they waited for them to cook, Caroline picked up her mobile 'Hi darling, which train are you on?' A few moments later 'six twenty into York – home seven love u' Caroline smiled expectantly, two nights away and the 'homecoming' sex was always wonderful. They had decided that the next evening they would sit down and talk to the girls. Just the thought of it made Caroline's stomach knot.

Suddenly her phone rang. "Hello Caroline, this is Nick Schindling here, how are you?" "Fine thanks Nick, what's up?"

"You're not going to like this Caroline but the producers and screen writer have decided the story needs something dramatic towards the end. It needs to dig deep and have some real drama."

"Well what exactly did you have in mind?"

"They're talking about a break up or even a death."

There was a cutting silence as Caroline sucked in air, she felt as though she had been kicked in the stomach. She couldn't speak.

"Caroline, are you still there?"

"I can't believe you're even suggesting this. I really can't. You need to know straight up, I will not endorse either of those ideas. It was never part of the deal. It's either my story or it isn't. You can't mess with it like that. What makes you think people always want heartache? Don't we think they have enough of that? This was supposed to be a love story; even a 'rom-com' if you want to go that way."

"So you won't even consider it?"

"Absolutely not and if you override me I will withdraw from the whole deal and you can have your money back. I sold you the idea and script on the understanding that the drama was kept true to my story. I can't contemplate that sort or diversion for no real reason other than soapy sensationalism."

"Ok Caroline, I'll pass that on and we'll be in touch."

Caroline was rattled, really rattled; this had the potential to cause a lot of hard feelings in what had up until then been a wonderfully positive experience. She shook her head. Why, why in God's name did people always feel the need to impose bad stuff into a show when there was so much joy and happiness in it otherwise. Surely she and Kate's journey had enough angst in the beginning, now it was time to celebrate who they were as a blended family and all that stems from that. God even the tension she felt about talking to the girls tomorrow was sufficient drama.

Kate arrived home and Caroline couldn't wait to be in her arms. The call had really upset her. Kate felt the tension immediately, "what's up has something happened?" Caroline's eyes filled with tears as she relayed what Blue Productions had put forward. Kate was immediately incensed. "No way darling; you stick to your guns. If you like I'll clear a day and we can go and see them together. Your story, our story and that's the way it must be. You know even if we had to pull out, your book has been a great success and that's what you hold on to." She lifted Caroline's face up and kissed away her tears.

Later, in the seclusion of their bed, Kate held Caroline close, naked bodies wound around each other. Their homecoming lovemaking had indeed been wonderful, but even more it was consoling and calming and brought Caroline back to the reality of her life; the safety and security that were her wife's arms. One of the hard things about the phone call from Blue Productions was the possibility that life could imitate art. The mere idea that anything could happen to either of them filed her with dread.

The next day, Caroline rang Nick and asked for a meeting to sort it all out.

"It's OK Caroline, they accepted your response. The story is far too good to have to let go of it. They've actually come up with a possible cliff hanger which sees the biological father asking for joint custody. How do you feel about that?"

"Cliff hanger? Are you suggesting that someone might think there was some sort of sequel?"

"Well you know TV stations do always leave room for the possibility that the story may be so well received that they commission a second one."

"Wow, that's another thing altogether. This was written as a one off. I thought it was just going to be a mini-series type of show."

"Are you open to such a possibility?'

Caroline felt as though she was losing control. This conflict had come out of the blue and only served to show her how amateurish and naive she was.

"I still want to talk to you and I want Kate there. Please get back to me with an appointment." Nick assured he would do that.

After dinner, the kids went off to do their homework and their mothers snuggled up on the sofa together. Kate told Caroline all about the meetings she'd been at and the progress that was being made; leaving Caroline with her usual sense of pride in her wife. After recounting the call with Nick, they settled down to talk about the conversation they were going to have with the girls.

"What do you think about Greg's request Kate?"

"I suppose it's inevitable isn't it? We always knew this would happen and in the grand scheme of things he's been more then accommodating. But it will really depend on what the girls say and how comfortable they are. What do you think?"

"I'm really conflicted Kate. I just want them to stay the way they are. We've had control over their upbringing and they know what's expected of them and what kind of women we want them to grow into. What happens if other people start filling their heads with other ideas?"

"I hardly think either Greg or Issy will fill them with subversive ideas!"

"No but let's say we want to take them on holiday with us and Greg wants them and they have to choose? It's almost unthinkable."

"Caroline lots of blended families are like that and we just have to learn to make compromises."

Kate called the girls out and asked them to sit down. They looked apprehensive and she was anxious to reassure them that it was nothing to worry about.

"You know how dad and Issy were here the other day?" they both nodded, "well your dad wants to know how you would both feel if you spent more time with him and Issy and you got to know their families, you know like dad's parents?"

Both girls looked stunned. Neither spoke for a while, they looked at each other, then their mothers and then down at the floor. It was not the reaction Kate had expected.

Grace was the first to speak. "Why does he want this now mum?"

"Because darling we've always said no before. We felt that you were our daughters and Will and Lawrence your brothers and Ma and I wanted you to feel you had a secure and stable family. We didn't want you to start out your life spending half of it in one place and half in another. We are your parents. Having said that, Greg has always been a wonderful caring and supportive dad and we don't want to hurt him."

Flora took a deep breath, "Why is Greg our dad?"

Caroline took over here. "Well you know that both mum and I have been married before, and I was blessed to have Will and Lawrence. Mum really wanted to have children, but it didn't happen. Sometimes it doesn't. When we decided we loved each other and wanted to be together, Mum, err mum and I, decided to try for a baby. We wanted a family together. Greg has been a good friend of mum's for a long time and he agreed to be the dad." At this point she blushed for obvious reasons. She needn't had worried, Flora simply said, "Well you couldn't have done it without someone could you?" Kate smirked and Caroline just opened her mouth and then shut it again.

Grace countered, "Mum did he make a deal with you that he would want to be our dad?"

"No, not to start with, he was very understanding of us wanting to be your parents, but then when he met you both I suppose he fell in love with you, and has been in your life ever since." Grace nodded thoughtfully.

Caroline said gently, "would you like some time to talk to each other about it and then tell us how you feel?"

They both said, "yes ma." The girls kissed them both and went off to their rooms.

Caroline remained quiet for a while and then, "Let's go to bed."

"What, it's only eight o'clock and they're are still up!"

Caroline kissed Kate and told her she was going anyway, the day had exhausted her.

Kate curled her legs underneath her and lay back into the sofa; there was a lot to think through. After what seemed like an eternity, she went in and got the girls to bed. She felt they both clung to her just a little longer than normal.


	20. Chapter 20

**Blue Productions – Part Two**

Kate climbed into bed, Caroline was making a good show of reading but both she and Kate knew nothing from the page was hitting home. Her thoughts were in turmoil and she was struggling to deal with the ever present movie-reel playing out with all the possible scenarios of Greg's connection with her girls.

"Caroline what is it? I can see you're really upset," as she slid her hand under her wife's pyjama top and began to stroke her. Caroline put her hand over Kate's and squeezed it. "I suppose I can't see a way of letting go and having the girls more involved with Greg. It feels wrong, they're our children; we, you and I are their parents. Greg has never parented them; yes he and Issy have 'babysat' (said with a flourish of parenthesis) occasionally, but the girls aren't used to others taking care of them or telling them what to do, except for the boys and nanna and granny."

"I know and when I put them to bed just now, they were both a bit clingy, as if they feel insecure."

"See that's what I mean. We mustn't force or coerce them darling; they have to really want this." There was a heavy sigh from Caroline; "God just when life seems to be ticking along sweetly something comes up and chucks a curved ball. What with the girls and now all this crap about the TV show."

"The TV show isn't important in comparison to the girls Caroline; we need to keep that in perspective. You know we are financially very steady now and from that point of view, the future is secure for our family. We have your mum and my mum to take care of and the joy of Will and Roxy's first baby." Caroline smiled at the thought that in another five months she and Kate would be grandmothers themselves. Will and Roxy were coming up the following weekend to tell Granny and the girls.

"Kate, I think I have to say to Nick and the production team, that I won't allow any deviation from the script. The series must end with me accepting the award and my mother's speech. That's the natural conclusion to the story. Anything else is just really turning it into a soap. If they don't like it, well that's their problem. I think we have enough legal grounds to prevent any manipulation of the story, or in fact to prevent any sequels – because there isn't going to be one, not from me anyway."

Kate rolled her over until they faced each other and were close enough to exchange breath. "I love you so much and you know I will support you in any decision you make about the script. Don't sweat it. Let's just concentrate on our girls and getting this stuff with Greg sorted out properly." Caroline nodded and ran her fingers through Kate's hair, pulling her into a deep and powerful kiss.

"Yes, yes, Kate and I are aware that when you bought the rights to the story, there was an understanding that I or we would allow some creative licence. However, wanting to leave the story on a 'cliff-hanger' as you put it, is not part of it. The story ends where it ends." Kate and Caroline sat around the board room table, both dressed in their power suits and ready to take on the production team.

"Caroline you must understand that this story is a winner. We're convinced it will really take off when it's released. It's new, real, and creates a situation which normalises everyone's love and relationships." Nick pleaded.

"Oh is that right? Well why then pray tell me, did you want to kill one of us off or have our relationship break up. That's bullshit!" she spat across the table. "It happens enough already in case you hadn't noticed. We really thought we had entrusted our story to people who would treasure and respect it. We were obviously misguided."

There was a respectful silence around the table as each person let what had just been said sink in. After a few moments, Erin Lyme, the current director, smiled at them and said; "OK Caroline, we get what you are saying and we will endeavour to honour your and Kate's wishes. However we do ask that you try to be open about the possibility of some sort of sequel, were it to go well. Obviously you would have to write it if we are to truly stay faithful to your lives."

Under the table, Kate squeezed her wife's hand. Caroline turned to look at her and as their eyes met, she nodded in agreement. There was a collective sigh around the table and the meeting then set about discussing the final scenes and how Caroline wanted them to play out. After a constructive discussion, everyone seemed at ease with the decisions and equilibrium seemed on the surface, to have been restored.

Sunday mornings were treasured in the McKenzie-Dawson household. Granny came for brunch and if nanna was around she was there too. Ginika had semi-retired now and had bought a flat in Harrogate which she occupied for several months each year. The rest of the time, the extended family got to use it if and when they wished. The twins loved to go and spend a weekend with nanna when she was in town; she always found interesting things to do with them.

"Girls, granny and nanna are here." Kate shouted in the direction of their rooms. The girls came out and ran for their hugs. Caroline put the finishing touches to the breakfast and they all sat down. Without warning, Flora looked directly and Ginika and said; "Nanna we me and Ace have a problem."

"Ginika looked up and steadily at them; "What's that my darlings?" Kate and Caroline shot looks at each other, dreading what might be coming.

"Well dad wants us to spend more time with him and Issy, like he wants to be a real dad."

The colour drained from both grandmothers' faces. Caroline opened her mouth but Kate gave her a look and she shut it immediately.

Before anyone could say anything Celia cut in; "see I told you this would happen Caroline, we've all just been waiting for the day."

The girls frowned as if they had been left out of some pre-determined plot for several years.

"Mum, please don't start that. Let's just give the girls a chance to tell us what they're thinking."

Grace took up the discussion. "Well mum and ma told us that dad had asked them if he could have more time with us now that we are growing up. Like you know, us staying there and going to meet new grandparents and going on holidays with them."

"How do you two feel about that?" nanna asked gently.

Flora's turn; "well it feels a bit weird actually." Looking at her parents as she said this. "Like, mum and ma are our parents, this is our family. We love dad, you know, but he's more like, well more like an uncle; yes that's the best way we feel."

Kate blinked back tears. She was on the one hand relieved to hear this, on the other her heart ached for Greg, were he to hear the same.

"So, what does that mean for the future my darlings? Would you like to go and stay with dad and Issy; you know, meet the family; go on holiday?"

"Yes, I suppose so, sometimes, but not a lot; we don't want to live with them. Some of our friends have to spend half the week living with mum and half with dad. We don't want that. We want to stay with mum and ma." Grace looked deeply concerned as she delivered this verdict and her eyes wandered straight to Kate and Caroline, looking for their response.

Caroline entered the conversation here. She urgently needed clarification on what 'not a lot' meant. "So Grace, when you say that; what exactly did you both have in mind?"

Flora looked at Grace and stepped in; "Well we mean maybe once or twice each term we might spend a night's sleepover there and perhaps have breakfast with his parents like we do here. It feels weird, but we don't want to hurt dad and Issy."

"Right, I see and what about holidays?"

"Not really. We like our holidays with you and sometimes Will and Rence."

Kate looked concerned; "Girls, what if dad said he wanted to take all you kids to Disneyland for a week? What would you think to that? You know he's mentioned it several times."

There was a significant pause while the girls looked at each other. Both their mothers had an idea that all these scenarios had been well and truly discussed and mulled over in the privacy of their bedrooms. "Yea, we thought of that and it would be great, but we'd only want to go if you two came and it was like you know a big family holiday."

"Well there's not much chance..."

"Caroline don't! This isn't the time for your phobic reactions to all things fairytale to come out." Celia smirked, Caroline retreated quickly, the girls jumped and Ginika threw her head back and roared laughing. "Oh my God you never fail to entertain me my beautiful daughter in law." Once nanna laughed the girls loosened up and realised that they didn't need to take things too seriously.

Caroline reached for a pancake and some bacon; "Come on everybody let's eat before it gets cold. Girls are you happy to let this drop for the time being now?" The both nodded and the atmosphere lightened as the flow of general conversation resumed.

After the grandmothers had gone, Kate and Caroline sat the girls down again and asked them if what they had described at breakfast was what they felt they would really be comfortable with. They both seemed sure that they had found a compromise that they could deal with and which they hoped would not hurt their dad.

It was a lovely early summer's day and so they decided to go for a walk on to the tops; Caroline never ceased to be amazed at herself for becoming as comfortable in her walking boots as she used to be in her stilettos. The girls ran ahead as usual and their mothers sauntered along hand in hand, not talking just being, soaking up the life they had now. Their relationship was rock solid and deepened with each passing year. Their sons were both happily in relationships with people their mothers loved and admired. Their daughters were a delight and brought them immense joy. However there was an ominous sense of dark clouds moving in. Kate was very uneasy about how Greg would react to the proposition she would now have to put to him with regard to the girls.


	21. Chapter 21

**Blue Productions – Part Three**

Caroline and Kate approached the girls' about their father several times and there was no wavering on the decisions they'd made. They were certain that living full time with their parents was what they wanted, but were ready to gingerly step out and give their dad and his family a chance to get to know them better.

Issy had been in touch with Kate and assured her at this stage she was not pushing for any contact with her side of the family as she felt it would be too much. Kate was more and more relaxed about the arrangement, but Caroline was in another place. She dreaded the idea despite her head telling her that it would surely be alright.

She had never discussed it with Kate in any great detail, but John's parents were older and had died only two years apart before the boys were in high school. They had little patience with two boisterous boys and visiting them became only a duty when John put the hard word on her. John's older brother was the apple of their eyes as he was a surgeon and had married well. Their children were disciplined and mild mannered. John, as an author was a disappointment to them and over the last few years, as his life began to unravel, his relationship with his brother and family had become non- existent, barring Christmas cards; something Caroline could only be grateful for. However it did serve to colour her view on in-laws somewhat.

On the other hand, Kate's family were gentle happy people who despite any hardships they may have endured, offered full acceptance of Caroline and the girls and always made them welcome. David, Kate's cousin was the brother she'd never had and he and his family were close.

Despite Kate reassuring her that she had met Greg's parents many times and they were nice people, Caroline was worried about how they might be with Flora and Grace. Was this unrealistic, she asked herself many times, but still couldn't shake off her misgivings.

"Ok Caroline, here goes." Kate picked up her mobile phone and dialled Greg's number, putting hers on speaker so that they could both share the call.

"Hi Kate, how are you all?"

"We're fine and hope your lot are too."

Following a back and forward about what the two families had been up to; Kate finally jumped into the conversation they had to have. "Greg, I'm calling you because Caroline and I have had a couple of conversations with the girls about your proposals. We explained everything first and then gave them some time to talk to each other before coming back and telling us what they think."

"Ok that sounds good, what do you think they feel about it all?"

"In truth, we think they are a little bit conflicted as you may imagine."

"Conflicted, about what exactly?" Kate could feel Greg's resistance starting to build.

"Well they've grown up knowing that you are their dad and they have been lucky to have such a wonderfully supportive one. But, they see Caroline and me as their parents the boys as their brothers and this as their family and home."

"Yes well that would be normal Kate; we would have expected nothing else really."

"So this wish of yours to spend more time with you was a bit of a shock we think. They are very happy with the status quo and actually have seemed rather clingy and hesitant since we talked to them."

"What you mean as in afraid or something?"

"Well not afraid as such but they thought through by themselves what it could mean. For example, they told us they have friends at school who have to divide their time equally between two households and they said in no uncertain terms that they didn't want to do that."

There was a pause in the conversation; the tension was building in Kate's temples.

"Soooo you're saying that if Issy and I wanted them here every other week, they would not want that?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying Greg. Caroline and I would not be happy with that either, they aren't used to it and it's too disruptive."

"Well what are they saying then?"

"They came up with the idea of having a couple of weekend sleepovers each term; having breakfast or a meal with your parents and also having family holidays where we all go away together."

"Wow, that's not a lot better than what we get now is it Kate?"

"I don't think that's a fair thing to say Greg. We've never stopped you from having time with them; our home has always been open to you and the family."

Caroline was beginning to get angry and Kate could see it. They had agreed Kate would do the talking as Caroline could fly off the handle more easily.

"I don't know about this; it's not what Issy and I had envisaged. Maybe we should come up and talk to them ourselves."

Caroline was madly shaking her head; Kate stroked her face in a bid to calm her down.

"Greg, the words the girls used not only to us but to in front of their grandmothers, was that they both loved their dad and wouldn't want to hurt him, but this is their home and we, are their parents. That's how they like it."

"Yes, but surely we aren't forgetting that I'm their father Kate."

"No, not at all, you are their father, but we are their parents. It sounds like semantics, but it's a description of the role we all play. You've never really parented them as such and we've always been happy and comfortable to take all the responsibility for them. That was the understanding we had when you agreed to help us."

"Yes I know that; but surely you can understand that we want a chance for them to feel part of our lives a bit more. Time goes so quickly Kate and before we blink they'll be finishing school and off to university."

Kate's heart strings were really being pulled; she knew Greg well enough to know that this was not a matter of principle for him; it was a real cry from the heart. "Greg, I think that if you let the girls take this at their own pace, you might be pleasantly surprised that they start to want more, by themselves. The one thing we have never done to the girls is force them in to things.

At this point Caroline could not keep quiet any longer. "Greg, you need to know that this is really hard for us too. We don't want to deny you, but we aren't completely comfortable with it all. Mostly we are thinking of Flora and Grace and not wanting their lives to be disrupted."

"Ok I understand, we understand. Let's just go with what they've suggested and see how it works. Will you ask them if they would be willing to come next weekend as it's my mum's birthday and it would be the best present I could give her?"

Kate heard Caroline suck in air. This was real now. No more discussion. The call ended with the promise they would ask the girls and ring back soon.

Kate watched Caroline get up and walked out into the garden; her stooped shoulders showing that she was holding in a lot of something. Kate didn't immediately follow her; instead she went to find the girls and explained what Greg had suggested for the following weekend. They both looked taken aback but agreed to the proposition albeit without a lot of overt enthusiasm.

"So it's OK for me to tell dad that he can pick you up next Friday and bring you back on Sunday?"

"No mum." Flora said emphatically; "pick us up Saturday morning and bring us back Sunday afternoon."

"Why not Friday darling?"

A gentler Grace stepped in; "Mum you know Friday is always our pizza and movie night with you and Ma. Anyway, Will and Roxy are coming aren't they?"

"God, I'd forgotten all about that. So next weekend is no good; Ma wouldn't stand for you not being here when your brother comes home." She could see straight away how complicated this could get, trying to balance everyone's calendars. "Ok leave it with me and I'll try and organise something." Now she was torn; there was on the one hand Greg's mother's birthday and on the other, the news about the baby. She sighed deeply and walked outside to find her wife.

Caroline was sitting on the garden bench, very teary. Kate sat beside her and gently picked up her hand and kissed it. "It's going to be OK, you know that don't you?"

"No, I don't really know that;" not here anyway as she thumped at her heart. "I sometimes wish we'd or you'd used an anonymous donor. We wouldn't have these complications."

"You can't really mean that Caroline. Our girls are who they are partly because their father is such a good man. I know the whole conception, then involvement thing has always been difficult for you, but we've had twelve years of joy and happiness; two gorgeous daughters who are healthy and happy. That has to count for something."

"I suppose so, but it seems now we have to start paying for that and in my mind the price is too high." Kate pressed her lips to Caroline's as she stroked her tears away. "Trust me darling, trust the girls." She then told her about the conversation she had just had with them and how simple and innocent they were in not wanting to miss their pizza/movie night." This had become a delightful family tradition and if you were to look in on them this Friday, you would see a large pizza of tomato, basil and buffalo mozzarella (favourite of all of them); watching 'Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children', and were it to be half way through the movie, two girls engrossed lying on the rug in front of the TV and Caroline stretched out along the couch with her head in Kate's lap; slender gentle fingers delicately massaging her scalp and temples.

Caroline smiled."Yes they are innocent in lots of ways. I often think of some of the worldly twelve year olds I had to deal with at Sulgrave. How long Kate before ours step over that line?"

After another call to Greg, it was arranged that the twins would go to him on the Sunday for the day so that they could meet their grandparents and celebrate the birthday. Kate had felt obliged to share Will and Roxy's good news and why the girls had to be home Friday and Saturday. He understood but she could hear the disappointment as he capitulated.

As the movie was just about to finish they heard the crunch of gravel as Will and Roxy arrived. Kate watched as Caroline embraced Roxy, her hand gently resting on the small but perceptible baby bump. Family brunch was transferred to Saturday morning so that the announcement could be made. Both grandmothers were delighted; as Celia put it; "well I never thought I'd be a great grandmother." Ginika could only nod in agreement as her eyes welled up. The girls squealed with delight and hugged Roxy asking all kinds of questions about names; when it would be born; would there be two like mum had; would they be able to hold it.

The dreaded Sunday morning came around far too quickly for Caroline. Will and Roxy were leaving after breakfast as they were going into the city to have lunch with John, so that they could tell him. He now never came to Kate and Caroline's; he had at last reached a point where he conceded that his efforts to disrupt their relationship or indeed to worm his way into their life, was totally over. There were times when he still bemoaned his loss to anyone who would listen, but those people had become almost non-existent now.

Greg and family were expected at ten o'clock and the girls were busy getting ready in their rooms. It had been agreed that they would go to Greg's parents for lunch and then have a family tea together before they were dropped home at eight thirty. Caroline didn't know it but Kate had organised for them to go out for the day and include in that a lunch at a very classy restaurant. Anything to keep her out of the house and distracted.

The car arrived and the twins came out looking very lovely and colourful. "Wow, you two look so pretty." Their father had gushed as he hugged and kissed them. "Are we all set to go?" There was a genuine but non-the-less hesitant 'yes' from them both. Both mothers stood at the door watching them climb in to the car and drive off until they turned on to the road and out of sight, Caroline rushed indoors and leant over the kitchen bench. Kate walked up and put her arms around her waist. "Hey, come on, it's only for today, and I have a nice surprise for you. A special lunch followed by a walk around the gardens of Bamforth Manor."

"Kate that costs an arm and a leg!"

"Yes but you are more than worth it and I will show you that in a moment. We have an hour before we need to leave and in case you haven't noticed we are all alone."


	22. Chapter 22

**Blue Productions – Chapter Four**

Kate looked steadily into Caroline's eyes as they lay face to face. "What is it really; what's making you so upset?"

"I'm not really sure, but deep down I think it has to do with insecurity. Some days, I almost lose my breath when I think of you and our family. The contrast with my dysfunctional and unemotional up-bringing; the marriage I thought was solid; then all we went through struggling to find our way. I can't help but have twitches of fear that it might come crumbling down around me. So I don't cope with anything I feel might threaten what we have."

Kate pulled her even closer and kissed her gently but passionately. "What does that kiss do to you Caroline?"

"It thrills me like nothing else in life can; it makes me stir; it makes me want you; but mostly it tells me how much you love me."

"What happens when the girls run in from school and throw their arms around you for a hug, then sit up at the kitchen bench and tell you all about their day?"

"It's beautiful; it makes my day."

"None of this is going away my darling. My love for you, my total commitment, the girls' devotion to you; it's all too strong and true for anything to take it away. Look at Lawrence; we thought at one stage he would never accept me or our marriage fully; but time and patience have brought him close. People sometimes say our family is 'too perfect' but we've worked bloody hard for what we have, what we enjoy."

"I know but I feel out of control with the girls and Greg having them – I've no idea what he might be saying to them."

"Caroline, it doesn't matter really; our girls and I stress 'our' are so happy and so devoted to us that no-one could change that. In fact I think we both know, Flora in particular would let them have it both barrels if anyone tried to drive a wedge or put our family down."

Caroline at last smiled; "I've taught her well."

"Yes you have my love; she's certainly a chip off your block. Now can I suggest that we let the girls enjoy their day and we start to enjoy ours. I intend to make you ravenous for the fabulous lunch we are about to have." Caroline rolled over and pulled Kate on top of her; matching every inch of skin with her own, whispering; "look at me, fifty eight years old and still hungry for you, for this."

"I intend to make sure you're still hungry for me when you're ninety eight because I know I will be." and in a very husky voice she whispered; "We're all alone remember, and you know how it thrills me when you really let go." Soon the house echoed with their cries of climax and professions of love.

The lunch and walk in the gardens continued to lift both their spirits. A few times Caroline pulled out her phone to ring or text the girls, but Kate had gently persuaded her not to; to just let them be. They arrived home a while before the twins were due back. Kate made sure their uniforms were ready and everything set for school, while Caroline made all the arrangements for her last two weeks of filming. Kate still taught two days a week and had at least another two days at home working on refugee business. Ginika might have to step into the breach a couple of afternoons and be home when the girls got there. It had become too much for Celia, who despite her protestations, was not really up to anything too responsible.

Promptly at eight twenty, Greg's car drove in. Both women went to the door to meet their daughters. Kate invited Greg in for a drink which he readily accepted. He watched on as his daughters hugged their mothers tightly; the relief etched on Caroline's face, one that they were home safely and two that they were so quick to fly into her arms.

"So everybody, how was it all?" Kate asked cheerfully.

Greg spoke up first. "It was lovely, my parents were rapt to finally meet the girls. My mother was of course determined to say how much they looked like me."

"Well they do, but they also look like Kate." Caroline chipped in.

"Yes, yes of course. We had a lovely lunch together and a birthday cake for mum. My brother and his wife were there too, with their two children. So the girls go to meet them for the first time."

Caroline turned to the girls. "Tell us all about it then."

Flora gave an account of the lunch and who was there and what they ate and what dad and Issy had bought for them to give to grandma. Grace described Greg's brother and family and then how they'd spent the rest of the afternoon and evening. It was quite obvious to their mothers that both of them gave a factual account; it had little emotion or excitement about it.

Eventually Greg left, assuring the girls that he would be in touch soon to organise their next visit with what seemed a strong emphasis on 'sleepover'.

Within minutes of him driving off all four of them were on the sofa cuddled up. "So how was it really?" Caroline asked gently.

"Ma it was good, they're all nice people, but it's different and isn't as comfortable as home with you and ma." Grace explained.

"So could you do it again? "

Grace shrugged "yep we could couldn't we Ora?"

"Yes, but don't know if we are ready for a sleepover yet. Can we talk about it later?"

'Yes of course darling, you tell us when you're ready."

"Mum?"

"Yes Flora."

"Are we still going to Cornwall this summer for our holidays, with granny and nanna?"

"We certainly are. Ma will finish filming by the first week in July and as soon as we all finish school, we're off. We've booked the cottage for two weeks and if we're lucky Will and Roxy and Rence and Sarah will come down for one of the weeks."

The girls both grinned from ear to ear. "Why do you ask? You know it's all booked."

"Cause dad asked if we had plans for our summer holidays and when we were going and where."

Caroline's back stiffened. "Did he now? What are they doing for holidays?"

"Dad said they hadn't decided yet." The conversation was left to rest on that note.

The next morning saw the household rushing to get to work and school and Caroline an early start to the final weeks of filming. It would be the first time she had seen everyone since her last meeting with them and she was a little apprehensive. As she drove out, her phone began to ring; she looked at the Bluetooth display – John calling. 'What the hell' she mumbled out load. "Yes John, how are you?"

"I'm good Caroline; I just rang to say that Will told me that you've been involved in the filming of a series based on your novel?"

"Yes that's right I have."

"Well, I erm guess congratulations are in order."

"Thank you."

"This company who picked up your story, do, do they take random manuscripts to look at?"

"I believe they do, yes but that's not how it happened for me; so I'm not really sure. Why do you ask?"

"I have a story I've written; it's also about our family, but of course a different take on it. You know, more from my perspective."

"Not that stupid thing you started when we were still at Conway Drive?"

"Yes, that's the one, but of course it's much more polished now."

Caroline laughed. "Well you'd better tell my mother before you put it in, she might sue you."

"I was rather hoping you might put a good word in for me, were I to send it in."

"Doubtful I'm afraid. For one thing I don't have anything to do with that side of the productions and secondly, it would be ridiculous to have another story about the same family."

"Well, that's just typical of you isn't it? won't help me when you could give me a leg up. I bet your bloody stupid lesbian story didn't pocket you what my Prothero books did."

"No you're right there; at last count it's probably three times that."

"Fuck you Caroline!" and with that the phone went dead. Caroline sighed deeply and remembered all over again why she was so pleased that they rarely heard from him these days.

This week they were filming the birth of the twins. She'd seen some of the initial directions and it was looking really good. In fact it had been very emotional watching the lead up to it all and today she expected them to have Kate in labour and in the hospital. They had wanted to bring an American actress in to play Kate's mother. Caroline was rather shocked at this as she could think of plenty of older African or mixed race women from UK who would do the part justice. However she had soon realised that they had ideas about promoting the show on one of the USA networks and this actress would be a drawcard. All this wrangling was way over Caroline's head and certainly out of her comfort zone.

Erin Lyme walked over; "Morning Caroline, how are you?"

"I'm really good thanks how is everything shaping up for today?"

"Oh I suspect it's going to be a belter this week. The way you wrote about the birth of the twins is amazing and it's so easy to be able to picture it, right down to Grace being touch and go."

"Yes, this is what I was trying to tell you the other day. Surely that sort of thing is all the drama needed to keep people on the edge of their seats for a few minutes. Most of us prefer to see a happy ending to such crises."

The day went well and they told Caroline that Kate would be welcome the next day to watch the filming of her response to becoming a mother after all the years of waiting. They wanted to get it right and Kate would be able to watch the subtleties were authentic.

Over dinner Caroline told Kate about the invitation. The girls asked why they couldn't go. "Ma it would be awesome for us to see ourselves born." Grace gushed. Both mothers laughed. Then Caroline stopped and thought for a moment. "Do you know, I think it would be awesome too. It was one of the happiest days of Mum and my life; especially mum."

Flora's eyes widened. "You mean we might really be able to come Ma?"

"How about I ask Erin and see what she thinks and then we'll see about you having a couple of hours off school."

"OMG" they both chanted at once.

After dinner the girls disappeared to do their homework and Kate and Caroline sipped at their second glass of wine. "Caroline you wouldn't be doing this for an ulterior motive would you?"

Looking away from Kate; "I can't think what you mean."

"Yes you can, any way to reinforce our parenthood; would that sit well with you?"

After a sheepish smile; "Well it can't do any harm and it will be awesome for them, especially to see how life changing it was for you. I'll never forget the look on your face as they lifted Grace, safe and breathing on to your chest. It was pure love."

She picked up her phone and sent a text to Erin; feeling very pleased with herself.


	23. Chapter 23

**Blue Productions – Chapter Five**

"Well, I'm never having a baby." Flora threw out as they drove home from the filming. "Mum did you really have to go through all that?"

Kate laughed heartily, "Yes I did, but the good thing is, even though child birth is painful as you saw, you forget the pain as soon as you hold your babies."

"I nearly wasn't here was I mum?" Graced asked in a slightly less dramatic fashion than her sister.

"It was a little bit of a worry, you'd been a bit squashed waiting for Flora to hurry up and get out, and it made you struggle to breathe for a few seconds. But it all worked out and here you are our two scallywags."

The girls had stood wide eyed and open mouthed during the first effort at filming. However it tapered off by the time they were on the third 'take'. Kate and Caroline were thrilled with the final outcome as the actors faithfully gave depth to the magic of that day. Two more weeks of filming albeit that the last episode would be a leap of some years; and the series would be ready for the editing and production it would undergo before screening. It was scheduled to air in late autumn with a double finale at Christmas.

"I won't know what to do with myself soon." Caroline mused as she drove along. "Book finished; filming finished; God Kate what will I do with my days?"

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Kate walked down the stairs as Caroline and the girls watched from the lounge. She never took her eyes off her wife as she walked towards her; hoping that Caroline would like the dress she had bought for the awards night, which she had kept hidden for the big reveal. She looked stunning.

Both girls smiled widely as she walked towards them; "Mum you look fabulous." Flora gushed as Grace nodded.

"Thank you, I wanted to look my best for Ma. We're so hoping the program wins tonight. Caroline felt a tear run down her cheek as she looked at Kate. She never ceased to amaze herself how moved she could get in these situations; her heart feeling like it would burst. Most times Kate would wave it away and tell her she was 'just too hormonal'; but tonight, she was glad to see the tear as she too was feeling very emotional. The program had been an enormous success when it aired and the ratings had gone through the roof as it deepened. Each week they would receive packages of fan mail from Blue Productions; women and men; old and young; every spectrum of colour and creed who had been touched by their story. Both read every single one and Kate spent a lot of time helping Caroline to reply to them, even if it was just a signed photo of the two of them.

Nanna and Granny had set themselves up for the evening with the girls to watch it all on TV. Ginka had bought special treats for the young ones and a bottle of champagne for her and Celia; she was convinced they would win. The boys, Greg and Issy and the Greenwoods had all sent their best wishes and a promise to be watching.

In contrast a half drunk and angry John was pacing his flat asking himself the same questions over and over again; 'how did I let this happen'; 'why me'. The ever faithful Lawrence kept his father abreast of all the family news; once he had asked "Dad, why do you torture yourself asking all these questions about Ma?" "Because she's still my wife as far as I'm concerned."

He knew that Caroline had overtaken him at every turn. She was now successful, well off, had a gorgeous wife; and according to Lawrence, an enviable sex life and wonderful family. He, on the other hand, was quite literally a materially poor, lonely aging man. Even Will had told him recently that if he really wanted to have a relationship with his new granddaughter, Sophia, he would have to smarten up as Roxy had exactly the same response to him as Kate when it came to their daughter.

Sophia was now a month old and both Kate and Caroline were amazed at how much like the twins she looked when she was born. (Will had once confided in his mother that he thought Kate was so beautiful, he wondered if it had influenced him falling in love with Roxy). Grace and Flora were besotted with her and there had already been two trips to London to see them all.

Kate kissed Caroline's cheek as she came close; "You look a million dollars too my darling; I have a feeling this is going to be a great night that will just keep on giving."

The chauffer car arrived to take them to the ceremony. There was cold champagne for them as they sped along the motorway; Caroline could feel the nerves rising in her stomach. What if they did win? She would be expected to say a few words as the writer. The speech at Colombia had been a trial which surprised her, after years of holding forth at school assemblies. She squeezed Kate's hand for reassurance.

After cocktails and rubbing shoulders with stars from competing shows, they were seated at the table allocated for their cast and crew and the evening began. The compere for the night was a favourite television comedian who managed to relax everyone. Caroline held fast to Kate's hand as they reached the point of their nomination. A few scenes flashed up on the screen; including the birth of the twins; there was an audible gasp of approval as the other guest watched it.

"And the winner of the best drama is 'The Effect You Have On Me' – Blue Productions". Kate grinned from ear to ear as she let go of Caroline so she could follow the others to the stage. Nicholas Schindling spoke on behalf of the show and after thanking the actors and production team, he turned his attention to Caroline, at the same time asking Kate to join them on stage.

"This has been an extraordinary story. I can remember the night Caroline won the literary prize at Columbia and how I knew straight away we were on to a winner. I have to confess that there have been some tense moments along the way when we made the mistake of thinking that we somehow needed to 'ramp up the drama'. To Caroline's credit, she refused to have her story diluted or distorted and its success is a testament to her tenacity. Thank you Caroline and Kate for the beautiful love story you have so generously shared with our viewers. We hope against hope to hear more from you." Caroline thanked him and all the crew and actors and of course her beautiful wife.

Their rivals were very gracious to them in defeat and as the evening wore on, many came to speak to them and tell them how well deserved it was.

As they tried to creep quietly into the house, there was a sudden burst of light and the girls ran at them screaming with excitement.

"Don't ask Ginika or me why these two aren't in bed; no chance there." A very sleepy Celia said.

There were lots of hugs and excited questions about it all. The girls were keen to know which celebs they'd met up with and what they were wearing and what they said to them. Kate lay into Caroline on the sofa as they all chatted; her warmth and perfume only serving to heighten the feeling she already had. She was ready to congratulate her wife in the way she knew Caroline was waiting for, longing for. She would take all the evening's tension away and hold her until she drifted off to sleep. She was very good at that.

Caroline sat up. "Ok everyone it's very late; time for bed, mum and I are ready to hit the sack."

Celia and Ginika were both secretly relieved to be able to go back to bed; it had been a hyped up night with the girls and their constant screaming and chatter. As they turned to go to their room, Grace whispered "I bet they get lucky tonight, did you see the way they were looking at each other."

Caroline heard the remark; "Excuse me, what did you just say Grace?" There was a very sheepish look; "Sorry Ma, but I'm right aren't I?" Kate meanwhile was in hysterics. She too had heard the stage whisper and could barely control herself after seeing the utter shock on Caroline's face.

"Good night girls, sleep tight and sleep in. Come on." As she took Caroline's hand and led her upstairs.

They undressed each other very slowly, making sure to be very careful with their 'four figure' gowns; this was no night for ripping off expensive clothes no matter how urgent it all was. They lay in the darkness letting it all sink in, as they both relaxed into each other. Kate knew what would be coming in a moment and she was trying not to laugh.

"Did you hear what Grace said?"

"Of course I did."

"Well I would have to say..."

"Caroline stop getting so indignant; they're old enough now to notice these things; you can't think for a moment they don't talk about this together and with their friends and they'll be hearing on TV and videos etc. I just think it's lovely that they would notice it in our eyes and be happy for us."

"I don't remember the boys ever saying anything remotely like that. Anyway they're too young. I didn't know anything at their age."

"Different times my darling; and the boys might not have said anything but I've had my fair share of winks from them when we've decided to have 'an early night'."

"What! You never said anything to me."

"No because it's no big deal. Now can we forget about it and end the night with our own little celebration. Do you know how proud of you I am; my brilliant wife, courageous and smart and strong and best of all, mine." The night became theirs; making love, talking, laughing and letting their success wash over them and it was almost dawn before they dozed off.

They woke quite late to a very quiet house; as they ambled downstairs they called out but no one answered. There was a note on the kitchen bench from the twins. 'Gone to Nanna's will call you later to check out what we're doing. XX'.

Kate was thrilled; it was the opportunity she had been waiting for. They made breakfast and sat at the table. Caroline with her face in the newspaper; her favourite weekend treat.

"Caroline, there's something I need to discuss with you."

"Um, ok." Not looking up from the paper.

"Could you put the paper down please?"

Caroline folded and laid it back down on the bench, looking intently at Kate.

"Last week when I was in London; there were two heavies there from UNHCR in Geneva to see the work we've been doing and discuss some ideas they had. When the meeting was over, they asked me to stay back with them. Basically they said they'd received some glowing reports of my work and they would like me to consider one of two jobs."

At this point, Caroline wasn't at all sure she wanted to hear what she suspected might be coming. She stared intently at her wife.

"They want me to either take a three year contract, and work in Geneva on a specific training program, or take the Director's position in London permanently."

Caroline stared into space for some moments trying to let what she's heard sink in. The consequences of taking either were significant for their family.

"Well that's amazing darling and now it's my turn to be so proud of you. Have you been thinking it over?"

"Yes I have, a lot; but I didn't want to say anything until last night was over; I didn't want to take away from you."

Caroline leaned in and kissed her gently.

"I know either is a big ask Caroline. It means an upheaval for all of us. But it's a challenge I think I am ready for and I've still got the energy and fire in my belly to make a go of it. What do you think?"

"Well, wow, it's a bit of a shock. I mean either of them. The Geneva one would be exciting for us all but we would be so far away from my mum and your mum. London is easier from that point of view but I'm not sure about the 'permanent' nature of it. Which one excites you the most?"

"The Geneva one Caroline; the project is something we've been working on at local level and I've had a big hand in its installation. I also think it would be good for the girls. They are young enough, yet old enough, if you know what I mean and there's a good international school there. The fact that I speak French and German fluently is also a big bonus for me and the organisation."

"Right, ok well let's sit with all the pros and cons of that choice." She got up and found a pen and some paper. This was not on her radar when she woke up this morning and it had really thrown her.

A couple of hours later after some very in depth and honest discussion, Caroline conceded that it was in fact manageable for them to go to Geneva. She had raised the issue of Greg and how he would take it, and was surprised at how definitely Kate reminded her that he was not their 'legal' parent and in any case Issy had seriously considered going to Australia. Geneva was only a short flight away if anything happened and Caroline could be home very quickly if she was needed. The girls could come over in holidays to see their dad and brothers and grannies. Kate had reminded Caroline that it was in fact only just over eighteen months since her mother had made the trip to the States.

Kate had only a month to make the decision and let them know. Once they'd discussed it with girls, Lawrence and Will they made the trip to see Greg and Issy to discuss it with them. Greg was very upset to start with and pleaded with them that he'd only just started to think he could get closer. Issy calmed him and reiterated that Geneva was nowhere near as far as Australia and that they would see the girls regularly and in any case it would be fun to go to Europe a couple of times a year. Kate was eternally grateful that Issy was there to support her as usual; they were as close as any blood sisters could be and relied a lot on each other in times like these.

Now for Celia and Ginika.


	24. Chapter 24

Blue Productions – Chapter Six

 ** _A big thank you to all of you who have written a little review or sent a PM; I do appreciate it. In fact I would like to say that the two reviewers who mentioned 'ambush' made me re-envision the start of this chapter; thanks._**

Caroline lay in bed, an uncomfortable silence pervading the room; both women lost in their own thoughts and processes. It was not a situation that happened very often and it had a profound effect on both of them.

A tentative Caroline whispered, "Are we OK?" as she reached out for Kate's hand.

"No Caroline, I'm confused and hurt and still angry;" as she picked up her pillow and pyjamas; "I'm going downstairs, I need some space."

"Kate please..." No use, her wife left the room leaving Caroline feeling desolate.

There had been a big row in their study moments before. Kate had stormed off upstairs and Caroline had followed, not wanting the girls to see or hear what was going on.

They had invited Ginika and Celia over for dinner, to tell them about their plans to go to Geneva. London had been ruled out by both of them as neither wanted to live in London and they didn't want the girls to grow up in a big city environment. Once Flora and Grace had gone to do their homework, Caroline opened the conversation.

"We've got some news for you both. Kate has been head-hunted and offered a new job, a three year contract working for UNHCR. I'm so proud of her, so are all the kids."

Ginika beamed with pride. "Kate darling that's wonderful." She got up and walked over giving her daughter a big hug and kiss. "When does all this start?" She had an idea that with such a promotion, there was going to be a move of some sort, but refrained saying anything to give them chance to explain to Celia.

"I have to give them an answer in two weeks and then a start date will be negotiated. Mum, Celia, this job is in Geneva." She stopped there and let it hang for a few moments to give them both chance to absorb it.

Celia looked confused. "Geneva? You mean Switzerland?"

"Yes Celia. The headquarters are there. I will be heading up a team from around the world."

"But you can't just go off and leave Caroline and the girls like that, even if you came home regularly; Caroline would hate it wouldn't you?" she said as she stared forlornly at her daughter. Caroline was aware of what her mother was doing; she may be well into her eighties but she was still as sharp as a tack and hadn't lost any of her ability to emotionally blackmail anyone she thought was about to upset her world.

"Yes mum I would hate it but it won't happen like that because we'll all go; me and the girls as well."

"All of you! Buzz off to Europe; just like that. It's ridiculous Caroline. The girls have started secondary school now; you can't just uproot them. Any way what about me and Ginika and the boys and baby Sophia? She'll not know you when you come back."

Ginika could feel one of her assertive moods coming on. She could tolerate just about anything with Celia; except that is when it involved negativity around Kate. "Celia, I'm sure Caroline and Kate will be home often to see us all, it's only a couple of hour's flight. The girls will find a good school over there and it will surely widen their horizons. We can go and see them there too; that will be rather exciting; holidays in Switzerland every year."

"I won't be bloody going to Switzerland I can assure you. That trip to the States knocked me around something shocking last year." She hoped that she was needling Caroline – something she knew how to do.

Caroline felt herself tensing up; she knew it would be a shock but she had no way of predicting just how her mother would react. "Mum, don't get so worked up, it's only for three years and Ginika's right, we'll come home regularly." She watched Celia's eyes fill with tears; felt the tug at her own heart strings. She got up and walked over to her mother, putting her arms around her and trying to console her. "Caroline I don't think I could cope with you going away like this. I need to know you're close by; I have no-one else to rely on except you and Kate."

Kate was feeling emotions she'd tried hard to forget. She was thrown back to the early days with Caroline and the frosty reception she received from Celia and how Caroline had seemed unable to move past her mother's approval or disapproval. She looked at her own mother for strength and then turned to her mother-in-law; "Celia, you have Gillian remember, she'll always be here for you and she'll keep a good eye on you. Mum will be here a lot of the time too."

Celia was never going to be won over and Kate suspected she would milk it for all it was worth. She loved Kate; it was true and was genuinely proud of her, but nothing or no-one would ever be allowed to come between this mother and her daughter. There was a long session of discussion, tears, protestations and unbelievable emotional pressure on Caroline. Meanwhile Ginika had begun to get angry and assertive; Kate deserved this accolade and a chance to part of something meaningful and wonderful. God knows she had supported Caroline this past year as she got heavily involved with the TV series. There had been days when the girls hardly saw their Ma – she was out early and back late.

Eventually the unthinkable happened. Caroline took a deep breath and without being able to look at Kate, she calmed her mother. "It's Ok mum, Kate and I will look at it again and see whether it really is for the best. Stop being so upset; we'll work something out."

Ginika's face darkened and she knew by the look on her daughter's face, that this last comment would spell trouble. "Celia, I think it's best if we leave now. I'll drive you home on my way. These two need to get to bed; it's been a very emotional evening and I for one am quite tired." With that Celia stood up and after hugging Caroline and Kate, she meekly followed Ginika out of the house.

There was an eerie moment before the storm hit. "How could you!" Kate spat in Caroline's direction. "You and I have spent hours, days, talking this through; I've given you every chance to pull the plug if you really felt it was impossible for any reason. But, 'oh no darling, of course we'll go; I want you to have this opportunity'. Bullshit Caroline. Your mother pulls the strings yet again." She stormed off upstairs and banged the door to their study closed behind her. Caroline flew up after her and walked into the room.

"Kate, that's so unfair. She's old and vulnerable you can see that."

"Vulnerable my arse; she doing what she always does, make sure you do what she wants. Well I'm not falling for it, not again. Do what you like, stay here, but I'm taking the job and I'm taking the kids with me."

Kate pulled the covers of the spare bed up around her neck; salty tears flowed freely down her cheeks. She was hurting so much and at the same time angry at herself for lashing out at Caroline and saying what she said. However, as she thought about the dynamics of the evening, she was reminded of a conversation she'd had with her own mother thirty years ago.

"Kate sweetheart, I've been offered a faculty position at Columbia; I would like to accept it and move back to the States, at least for a few years. You know that your father and I have not been happy together these past five or so years and rather than start to hate each other or disrespect what we had, we've agreed it is better to go our separate ways."

Kate was shocked to hear this despite knowing that it was highly likely they would separate once she went to university.

"You could come with me if you like; or if you would rather I didn't leave UK just yet, I'm OK about not going."

"Mum, no, of course you must go. It's a great opportunity for you. I'll still have dad at home, and David." David was Kate's cousin and they had grown up together and were as close as brother and sister. Her mother had gone and it took a while for her to come to terms with the distance but she was always pleased she'd not tried to get in the way of Ginika's golden opportunity. She knew that's exactly what her mother would have been thinking tonight. Of course she'd miss having the twins close by not to mention Kate; but she would never stand in their way, she would simply make the best of it.

Caroline lay in the darkness, conscious of the space beside her, her arm stretched out to where Kate should be. She knew she'd done a really stupid thing tonight; she'd allowed herself to be dragged in to Celia's games yet again and in doing so had diminished Kate and their relationship. She loved her mother and it was so easy to get sucked in, but she knew that it was one of those trigger points that sent Kate reeling back to harsher times. She should have had the courage to stand by their decision, at least in front of Kate. She could have brought up her reservations later when it was just the two of them.

She really did want to go with Kate and the girls to Geneva. She remembered saying to Kate on the way home from the awards that she didn't know what she was going to do now the filming etc was all over. This was an exciting new adventure for all of them. Flora and Grace were flip flopping to start with as they realised it would mean leaving Sulgrave and their friends; however it didn't take long for them to get swept up in the adventure too and now they were eager to get going.

Caroline was suddenly aware of a presence in the room. Grace slipped into bed beside her and cuddled up. "Ma, is something wrong with mum? I think she's in the spare room and I can hear her crying."

"Is she really crying?"

"Yep, I got up to go to the loo and I thought I heard her."

"Well mum and I had a bit of an argument tonight and I said a couple of things that upset her and then she got mad and said some things to me and so we're both upset."

"What happened?"

"Oh it was something to do with Nanna and Granny; nothing that you need to get upset about, it will all be alright. Even those who love each other as much as mum and I do, fight sometimes."

'Ma"

"Yes sweetheart."

"I'll go and tell her you're missing her and she should come to bed; shall I?"

Caroline thought about saying no she would go down; but then she knew that if they were going to put things right and make up, they'd both rather be in their own bed. "Ok you go and tell her and then go back to bed and don't worry." She kissed her daughter tenderly before she got out of bed.

A few moments later, the covers rose again and this time Kate slid under and over to Caroline. They clung on to each other for a long time until Kate whispered; "I'm so sorry for what I said to you, you know I could never do that. I was just so angry and hurt."

"I'm sorry too. I let you down again; not standing with you in our decision, letting my mother jerk my strings. Ginika must be so annoyed with me."

"Caroline, if you really don't want or feel you can't go, we can deal with that, but we must do it together."

"I do want to go and we can go. I know my mother will be alright. She's quite capable of looking after herself with a bit of help from the boys and Gillian. Nothing must take away this chance for you, for us, you deserve it."

Moments later Kate put her small bedside light on so that they could look at each other. Caroline felt a stab as she saw Kate's red and swollen eyes. She pulled her close and kissed them gently, wanting take make everything better. Tonight was one of those unexpected 'wake up calls'; their relationship was strong but both knew it could never be taken for granted as they let themselves feel the healing touch of the other.


	25. Chapter 25

**Blue Productions – Chapter Seven**

"Kate?"

"Yep I'm upstairs just doing a last minute check of the bathroom."

"Don't be too long, the taxi will be here in ten minutes. Girls have you checked the downstairs bathroom and your own rooms?"

"Ma, like nineteen times!" Flora impatiently countered. "I'm on the phone to Felicity saying bye, pleeeease!"

Caroline shook her head, she was sometimes a bit taken aback at how quickly the girls were growing up and how moody they seemed to be becoming. She couldn't recall the boys getting like that; but still all they did after their thirteenth birthday was smell, grunt and eat.

They had decided against renting out the house as they wanted to be able to come home whenever they needed or felt like it. Ginika had offered to move in but Kate felt it was too much responsibility. Their neighbours, who were very good friends, had told them that their nephew had just got married and had a job in a bank in Leeds.; suggesting that maybe the young couple could stay in Kate and Caroline's place on a reduced rent; on condition they look after the garden and the house and they could move across to their home if the family came home to stay. "I'll make sure they take good care of everything Caroline, and you won't need to pay a gardener or put your furniture in storage." Kate and Caroline thought this was an excellent compromise and now felt quite comfortable about being able to leave everything.

Ginika and Celia were in the kitchen finishing a cup of tea with Gillian who had kindly offered to be there when they left so that she could make sure Celia was alright. She had a key and so she would lock up when everyone had gone. Caroline walked over and put her arms around Gillian; over the years their affection had grown and each now regarded the other as a sister. "Thank you so much for being on board with all this and watching out for mum. I can go feeling good that you're here."

"No shakes Caroline, you've done enough for us these past two years." When Caroline's book sales took off, and she started to earn more money than she had ever dreamed of, she had had given her a substantial amount of money to up-grade the farmhouse.

Ginika was feeling very sad if the truth were known. She had an amazingly strong bond with the girls as she had been able to spend much more quality time with them than she ever managed with Kate, having a busy work life then. But she was determined to stay calm and strong, at least until they'd left. She'd already bought tickets to meet them in Paris in two weeks time.

Kate's contract started at the beginning of September when the girls would also start at the International School. Caroline had wisely suggested that they go to their rented apartment in the middle of July to unpack and settle in and then spend the summer having a holiday together around Europe for four weeks. The girls had been allowed to choose two places to go and their mothers the other two. The young ones had opted for Paris and Amsterdam and mums Tuscany and for the last week, the Greek Islands. Caroline had a wonderful time doing all the research and making all the bookings. Ginika was doing Paris with them and the boys and families joining them in a villa on the Island. Celia had opted for none of it; simply grumbling that it was unrealistic to expect her to go anywhere. "Well mum, if you change your mind, all you have to do is call and we'll organise for you to come to wherever we are." There had been a simple but emphatic eye roll in response.

Greg and Issy were another issue. Greg was still smarting from the fact that they were actually going. Caroline had relented and the girls had gone on holiday with them for a week in May. A week of tension and worry for her; but she had tried hard not to let on to Kate, the extent of it. It had fortunately worked out well, the girls seemed relaxed and happy when they came back and this would bode well for them coming over to UK during holidays to see their dad.

The minibus arrived and everyone came to the door as the driver loaded the luggage. "Flora, get off that phone right now!" Kate demanded. "You need to focus on saying goodbye to the people here." A pouting teenager shoved it in her pocket and turned to her grandmothers. There were lots of tears and hugs as everyone said goodbye to them. Caroline heaved a sigh of relief as the taxi turned on to the main road and out of sight. Most of the journey to Manchester airport was in silence; each of them lost in their own thoughts of what this move meant for them.

Caroline and Kate left the girls with their father, at the airport, for a while so that he could talk alone with them. Caroline couldn't help but watch from the corner of her eye; she wanted a gauge of how hard this departure was for him and the twins. After coming over and telling their mothers that he hoped the girls could fly over at half term; he said goodbye to them all and left.

Caroline couldn't help herself. "Did dad ask you if you would like to come over at half term?"

"Yes Ma." Grace replied.

"And how do you both feel about that?" As one, they shrugged and Flora informed her; "It's fine with us; we'll get to make our first flight on our own."

Kate put her hand on her wife's arm, just as a precaution, she knew a sharp return might be possible and the airport was not the place for even a minor bust up with their daughters. They found some seats and waited for their boarding call.

Suddenly Caroline's phone rang. "Caroline speaking; yes I'm at the airport. Ok go on." She sat for some minutes listening and replying with the odd 'yes' or 'mm'. Kate pulled the screen to face her so she could see who the caller was. To her surprise, it was Nicholas Schindling. "Well thanks Nic. You've certainly given me something to think about. I'll call you when we are settled in and I've had time to talk to Kate. Yes, we will, we're looking forward to our new start. Thanks; Bye."

Before Kate could ask, their boarding call came and any discussion had to go one hold. Caroline sat with Flora; Grace and Kate across the aisle from them. Ten minutes in to the flight Flora stared at her Ma; "How come we have to sit here in the back seats; why aren't we up the front in the bigger ones?"

"Because they're business class seats, much more expensive."

"Well, we can afford it can't we?"

"Yes we could, but this flight is only two hours, and you my girl should be happy with any flight to Geneva; I don't know where you get these ideas from." Flora turned back to her Ipad and ignored the stare coming her way. Kate had heard the exchange and turned to Grace. "What's up with your sister? She's been in a mood for days."

Grace looked down for a few moments and then with sad eyes; "She's had a hard time at school Mum."

"Why, what on earth's wrong?"

"Well you know her friend Felicity; the one she was on the phone to today?"

"Yes, go on."

"Her mum and dad watched the TV series, and they told Flis a couple of weeks ago that they thought it was very wrong of you to make an exhibition of your relationship on TV. Flis was really upset and told Flora who was crying at school for a couple of days after that which made Flis upset and so they were finding it hard to say goodbye."

"Why didn't she tell us; better still why didn't you if you knew your sister was upset?"

"She didn't want me to Mum; she knew Ma would throw a hissy fit and probably ring them."

"Yes she probably would." Kate felt sick that her daughter had been going through this and they didn't know and couldn't help. No wonder she was moody. She decided against speaking to Caroline on the flight and instead thought she would be better off telling her when Flora was in bed.

They arrived safely at their new apartment. Kate's staff had helped them find the right place in the right part of the city. It would be only a short commute to the office for Kate and was close to a good international school. It was a large apartment in an older building and it had tons of character and lots of big windows letting in a lot of light and fresh air. The girls knew that despite having a room each, there would be lots of times they would have to share when visitors came.

They all began to unpack and arrange their things; emptying boxes that had been sent on ahead of time. Kate closed the door to their bedroom and pulled her wife into her arms. "I'm so glad we're here now and I can't wait to christen our new bed tonight." Kissing her gently and stoking her face. Caroline looked hard at Kate taking both her hands in hers. "This is the first time you and I can look forward to just being us, just us and our daughters, with no other distractions. I can't tell you how good that feels."

They opted to go out for dinner as no-one was in the mood to cook and clean up. They found a small bistro nearby and enjoyed a simple meal after which they took a short stroll through the park that was across the street from their apartment.

Later when the girls were in their rooms, Kate asked Caroline to tell her about the call with Nic as she got up and fetched a bottle of red and two glasses.

"Well, he said that the TV station had been driving them crazy wanting another series. You know how popular it was." Kate winced inside knowing what she had to tell Caroline about Flora, but not now. "He reckons he told them many times that I'd said no, actually we'd said no, but they wouldn't take no for an answer."

"So what does that mean?"

"Well he wants you and me to think about whether or not we would be willing to continue the story – like you know sharing our life as a family."

"Well I can't think there's anything much to tell is there? We're just like any other family."

"Well he threw out a couple of angles such as blending our reality with some fiction – you know, people at school reporting us to the Board; problems around custody with Greg. That sort of thing. Maybe one of the girls getting really sick and all the drama around that. Oh, I don't know Kate, it all sounds a bit manufactured to me."

"God well, I guess we'll just have to sit with it for a while. I can see one great flaw already."

"What?"

"Well, once you've written it, you'll be spending a lot of time in UK working on the filming etc."

"Mmm, I hadn't thought of that. Let's not worry just now; we have a month's holiday ahead of us and I just want to relax." She pulled Kate into her arms and kissed her forehead. "I love you so much you know that don't you?"

"Of course I do my darling;" there was a pause; "Grace told me something on the plane today."

"What?" Kate proceeded to tell Caroline the whole conversation word for word; she knew it off by heart as it had been spinning around in her own head. Caroline's face turned to thunder; something Kate had foreseen, hence her decision not to tell her earlier.

"I'm speechless, well almost. How dare they, how bloody dare they! Not liking our lifestyle on TV is one thing but putting that shit on to their daughter is outrageous. If I was still in charge, they would be in my office tomorrow. It's just a pity that Flora didn't tell us this while she was still at school. I'm going to get their number from Flora and ring them tomorrow."

Kate held her; she needed Caroline to calm down and look at it again in the cold light of day and after they had spoken to Flora and Grace.

There was no love making; Caroline was inconsolable.

The next morning, after breakfast, Grace asked what they were going to do and were they going out. Kate told the girls that they would be going out but she and Ma wanted to talk to them first.

"Flora, ma and I have been a bit concerned about you the last few days as you seem to be moody and not yourself." Flora looked down at the floor. "I asked Grace what was the matter and she told me." Flora started to cry. Caroline jumped up and swept her into her arms. She peppered her with kisses; "It's alright sweetheart, you know you can tell us all about it."

"I didn't want to tell you because I knew it would hurt you and you'd probably lose it and phone Flis's parents."

"Well I would have spoken to them. I think it was unthinking and unkind of them to say that to their daughter especially when they know she's a close friend."

Caroline had become quite agitated the night before as she thought of the times these parents had come to their home to either drop off or pick up Felicity. She and Kate had always invited them in for a drink or a chat, and a few times they had accepted. It was just such a shock to hear what had happened. It felt like someone had just burst their bubble of happiness and security.

What followed was a gentle debrief with Flora; both mothers reassuring her that millions of people had watched their show and loved it and reminded her of the bags and bags of mail they had waded through, from people who said how much they'd changed their attitudes. They explained to her that Felicity's reaction meant that she didn't agree with her parents and was upset on Flora's behalf and that was a sign of true friendship.

"Ma, will you promise me not to ring them or get in touch with them?"

"Well I erm ..."

"No Flora, if you would rather we didn't, we won't will we Caroline?" there was a very reluctant shake of the head through obvious gritted teeth. "Now let's all put this behind us and get out of the flat and go and do something very special to celebrate our first day in Geneva. What would you two like to do?"

The twins suggested that they go into the city and take one of the hop on -hop off buses and then they could see what there was to do. They day turned out to be the distraction Kate hoped it would be for all of them. Caroline was extra indulgent and spoiled them, each coming home with a new outfit. By evening Flora in particular seemed to be in a much better space.

Once the house was quiet and everyone was in bed, Kate pulled Caroline into her arms. "Thank you for staying calm today, I think it was good for them and we should just let the whole thing drop and get on with enjoying ourselves. Flora will let it go very quickly now I'm sure."

Caroline snuggled deeper into her wife. "Ok, I will; now what was that you said about christening our new bed?"


	26. Chapter 26

**Ora and Ace – Remembering the Moment**

"Caroline?"

"What?"

"I was thinking, could we get up and sneak out for breakfast; it's Saturday and the girls won't surface 'til midday?"

"O God, just give me time to wake up will you; what time is it anyway?"

"Eight thirty."

Caroline rolled over and looked at Kate. It had been an exhausting week. She'd been in Manchester for four days working with Blue Productions on the up-coming screen script for her new story. Despite having many deeply held reservations about an on-going series based on their life, Caroline had given in and written a sequel which they gobbled up as soon as she sent them the first draft. She'd only got home late the night before. Kate was half way through her contract with UNHCR and if the truth were told, Caroline was eagerly awaiting its end. She was longing to get home and settle down again. Each time she went home, she could notice a difference in her mother and to a certain extent, Ginika; both of whom found it difficult to be without them and especially the girls.

On the flight back she'd been thinking of a conversation she'd had with Kate a few days prior.

"Caroline, are you OK? You seem to be a little distracted and quiet these days."

"I'm fine; although I do find it hard to be away from you and the girls so much. You know that's one reason why we agonised about me writing again in the first place."

"Would you rather we moved back home?"

"How can we do that? There's no way I would expect you to give up your job."

At this point Kate had become quiet and pensive. She was into her job big time; the challenge, the variety, all the sensational people she was meeting and working with; not to mention the boost in her self esteem as she became well known and respected in the organisation. While she loved the fact that Caroline was so talented and had developed such an amazing writing career, in the past, there had been twinges of envy and occasionally a feeling like she was the 'handbag' Caroline carried everywhere. This job had lifted her out of that.

"Well family comes first my darling and if it is better for us all then I will resign."

"Nope, not going to happen; we'll work it out somehow."

Kate had actually been on a 'fishing trip' hoping to feel out whether Caroline would perhaps agree to her and the twins moving back and Kate commuting, coming home at weekends. . However, in her mind, Caroline wasn't ready to hear this suggestion. The girls had not settled as well as they'd hoped. They were doing well at school, but the time they spent on their phones connecting with folk at home was a give -away that they were missing everyone

"Ok, I'll get up and have a quick shower and we can slip out;" kissing Kate gently as she slid out from under the covers. Kate realised how tired Caroline must have been last night, as there had been no love making; just a long luxurious cuddle which ended when she realised her wife was fast asleep; most unusual.

They left a note for the girls and crept out, walking to their favourite cafe. After settling down to enjoy their breakfast Kate broached the subject of the up-coming holidays. "You know the girls are really excited about catching up with all the family."

"Yes, I know. When I had dinner with Greg and Issy the other night, he told me they're all going away for a long weekend to the Lake District and then he'll take them to your mother for the rest of the time. The boys will go up for a few days while they're there."

"Well then, how about you and I get away for a few days?"

"How can you; what about work?"

"Actually an important meeting has been cancelled as there are visa problems. So I anticipated you would say yes and booked a week's leave."

Caroline smiled and held Kate's hand. "OK. That sounds really nice; where would you like to go?"

Kate grinned and with a cunning look in her eyes whispered; "all taken care of; all booked actually, and before you ask, it's a surprise."

"Wow, will I need my passport?"

Kate threw her head back and laughed. "You have no idea how appropriate that question is, and the answer is yes you will." Caroline looked puzzled; as if she was trying to connect to the relevance of her question. They spent an hour catching up on all the family news before strolling back to their apartment. The girls were still asleep as Kate predicted; turning to look at her wife and seeing eyes that offered something, Caroline instantly felt herself stir. "We could screw up the note and slip back into bed; they'd never know."

Kate kissed her neck; "why not?"

Two weeks later, and Caroline and Kate were at the airport putting the girls on a flight to Manchester. Their Ma fussed about every time, making triply sure that the hostesses knew they were flying unaccompanied and refusing to leave the departure lounge until the plane had taxied and she had phoned Greg. It was a ritual that Kate never interfered with; otherwise her wife would be on edge for hours. Once the plane had taken off, they themselves headed for the railway station to catch their train. Kate had refused to tell Caroline which train they were catching and to where. "You'll just have to wait until we reach the platform."

As they approached the barrier, Caroline saw the notice. "We're going to Paris eh?"

"Yes we are." As they settled into their seats and the train pulled out Kate leaned into her wife; "Do you remember the relevance of the question 'do I need a passport' now?"

Caroline wracked her brains as she tried to remember. "Give me a clue?"

"No, just sit with it. Think of the date; the train; the destination and the question." A long period of silence followed. Kate opened her newspaper and immersed herself in it and Caroline stared out of the window as the countryside flew by at a rapid rate. Suddenly she turned to Kate. "Oh my God, I've got it!"

"Go on then."

"This is the weekend I took you away when we got back together; Issy had gone and you were twenty odd weeks pregnant. I secretly planned a trip to Paris – it was the weekend we ...you know;" as she whispered in Kate's ear; "we made love after waiting so long to be together again."

"Yes my darling, it is and also the other significant event."

"We found out we were expecting twins; hell, I'll never forget that phone call. Are we going to the same hotel?"

"No, I took the liberty of up-grading us to the Bristol and our old cafe has closed, so we are booked for Pedzouille Restaurant tonight." "The Bristol! Kate that costs a fortune and this restaurant – is it as up-market?"

"Yep, but why not? you never treat yourself Caroline; all the money you earn from your work and you still cringe when I suggest spending any of it on you." Caroline leaned in and kissed her; no words needed.

Much the same as the first time around, the folk in the seat across from them smiled as they recognised two women very much in love.

Caroline was stunned to be shown to a suite. The assistant manager of the hotel, Angelique had looked long and hard at Caroline when they were checking in. "Excuse me, Madame, but are you the author, McKenzie-Dawson?"

There was a massive blush as Caroline nodded and smiled.

"Ah, I 'ave both of your books, I love them. This must be Kate?" Kate now nodded.

"Well please accept an up-grade to one of our suites, we are honoured to have you stay with us." As she leant over the counter, she whispered; "my partner will be so 'appy to know I've met you, she loves you too."

For the next five days, they wined and dined and luxuriated at the hotel spa. There were gallery visits and a concert and lots of relaxation and loving. It was the tonic they both needed. Every night they shared their day with the girls and heard all about theirs. However, on the last night of their stay, Flora spoke directly to Caroline.

"Ma, Grace and I think that grandma isn't too well; she seems tired all the time."

"Well she is nearly ninety sweetheart, you have to expect that."

"I know, but she just keeps telling us all the time that she loves us and how much she and nanna miss us all; more than I've ever heard before."

"Okay, try not to let it worry you too much. Mum and I are going back to Geneva tomorrow and so I'll have a long chat to her then."

"Ma?" "Yes?"

"We miss you and mum like crazy."

"Do you now missy. I thought you couldn't wait to get away. Are you sure you're not just jealous of our flashy Paris holiday?" Flora was developing a taste for the finer things of life which they were doing their best to stymie.

"No, we just miss you." "Yes Ma she's right." Grace chipped in.

"Okay darlings we'll see you in a few days. Love you." Kate then had a few words and they signed off.

That night, they chose room service after sharing a spa bath; wrapping themselves up in the fluffy white bathrobes. The waiter rolled in the trolley and arranged everything for them. "please call me when you have finished so I can clear away for you."

Kate replied in perfect French; "no need thank you, we'll leave the trolley outside the door." He smiled a knowing smile, accepted her generous tip and backed out of the room.

After their meal, they stood on the balcony; Kate wrapped around Caroline's back her head on her shoulder, looking out at the lights and the sounds of the city.

"We're so lucky, so blessed darling aren't we?" Caroline didn't speak, just nodded; if Kate could see her face, she'd notice the tears welling up. In those early days at Sulgrave as she felt herself falling in love, this night would never have existed even on her farthest horizon.

The girls came through the barrier and each flew into the arms of one of their mothers.

Kate held on to Flora; "how was it all?"

"Nice mum, we had a good time with the little ones and did some great walking in the Lakes." On the drive home to the apartment, there was lots of chatter about everyone and all the things they'd done; but both mothers realised that the girls were most animated when talking about catching up with all their friends. Flora wanted to know all about the expensive hotel they'd been to and enquired as to when they might get the chance to stay there. "When you've earned enough money to be able to afford it – that simple really." Caroline had fired back at them.

"Mum, why did you take ma to Paris on a secret treat?" Grace asked tentatively. Kate looked at Caroline who nodded her approval. "Well this is what happened fifteen years ago." And with that she proceeded to share the story with them. It was however modified slightly so as not to implicate Issy. The girls knew nothing of Kate's sexual relationship with her and both women had agreed it would stay that way.

After dinner, Kate announced that they had some news for them. "Ma and I have been doing a lot of thinking and talking together and we have a proposition for you. Since Ma put the book in for production, she's having to spend more and more time in UK; something we really hate as you can imagine. I've been talking to my boss and it would seem that I can work a bit more from home now that I've made all my contacts; I spend a lot of time on conference calls and writing training manuals."

Caroline interrupted here; "Are you sure about this Kate?"

"Yes darling I am. So girls, we've decided to move back home; at the end of you school year here in June."

There were gasps from both girls who after their momentary shock grabbed and hugged each other and then their mothers. There were squeals and cheers; all serving to show that they had read their daughters feelings correctly and they were indeed missing home.

Grace looked at Kate as though something had just burst her bubble. "But mum, does that mean that you won't be in Geneva?"

"No sweetheart, I'll move to a small apartment here and I'll hope to be home for two weeks and away for two weeks."

Flora gasped. "Mum no; we'd hate that, it's not fair, and Ma will go bonkers you know that."

"It's the best solution we have; Ma and I have been through all the alternatives and it will only be for eighteen months until my contract finishes. We think grandma and nanna need it too. Celia has told Ma that she's feeling very old and tired now and just wants the comfort of us all being around."

After lots of discussions both excited and worrisome they agreed to let it go for the time being and go to bed.

As Kate kissed both girls, she could sense how torn they felt; happy to be going home, but very unhappy at the prospect of being without her for long periods.

Caroline pulled her close; skin to skin, just how they loved it. "Poor kids, they hate the idea of you being away." "Well they hate it when you go too, even if it's just for four days. They'll be OK; they'll get used to it."

"I don't know how I'll cope Kate."

"Caroline, my love, we just celebrated the memory of getting together again after a five month horrendous separation; so full of pain and hurt. But we made it, we got through it because ultimately we know we are made for each other; we belong to each other body and soul. These weeks of separation will be hard but it won't last too long." She pulled Caroline's lips to hers and after a long and passionate kiss whispered; "not to mention the homecomings."


	27. Chapter 27

Ora and Ace – Epilogue

 ** _A/N - I'm dedicating the final chapter of this story to my friend and writing buddy LitMinor101. She has been a constant companion on the journey of K &C and one of my loveliest experiences here was to write a story with her; what an honour to be asked. A quick note from Lit this morning was my impetus to finish this story properly._**

Caroline gently placed a wrap around Kate's shoulders and then her own; the late September evening had a new chill as autumn proceeded. Sitting down again, she resumed sipping her wine and nibbling at the cheese and biscuits Kate had brought out for them. Their garden was looking particularly beautiful with some bulbs already pushing their way through to the surface.

"Listen Kate."

Kate sat silently; "What?"

"Nothing; the sound of nothing but the birds and rustle of the trees. How long since we experienced that? No chatter, no music, no banging and crashing around the house."

"True. It's just you and me, empty nesters for the first time."

"Yes, I thought I'd reached that point sixteen years ago when the boys would both have been gone; but there was another round to come." She smiled ruefully as she felt the pang of having left the girls at their respective Universities earlier in the day. Flora to Oxford and Grace to the Royal College of Music.

They had returned to UK from Geneva three years previously. The girls had persuaded their mothers that they could in fact manage to wait until Kate's contract was finished. The idea of the family being in two places more often than not was something they'd ultimately decided was too big an ask for their Mum. Caroline had also come to the decision that having to travel back and forth to Manchester occasionally was far more palatable than being without Kate at least two weeks a month.

The sequel to their first TV series had gone extremely well but this time Caroline had made it crystal clear that there would be no more; the company had reluctantly accepted this. Both women worked from home all the time now with just occasional meetings – Kate consulted for the Government in the Immigration Department and Caroline supervised PhD students.

The twins had done very well at school. Issy had really helped Flora prepare for a future as a doctor and Flora was overjoyed to follow Caroline's footsteps to Oxford. Grace had blossomed into a wonderful musician and, despite her sometimes lack of self confidence, she had swept through the entrance exams with flying colours.

"I wish mum could have been here to see the girls do so well; she would've been proud of them."

"I know she would Caroline, she's watching over them I'm sure. She loved them both very much."

A year after the family returned, Celia had begun to decline quite rapidly and not long after Christmas she had slipped away, gently and peacefully with her family around her. In her last days she had called Kate to her side. Taking her hand she whispered; "If you'd asked me if it were possible for my daughter to be as happy and loved as she is, I would have said, 'don't be daft' but I was a fool Kate. You've brought nothing but joy and happiness to this family. I'm sorry for the start we had, but I do love you; you know that don't you?"

Kate kissed her gently on the forehead; "Of course I do and I love you Celia; without you there'd be no Caroline." Celia smiled. "You've been a wonderful grandmother to the girls."

In contrast, Ginika was still going strong and had the previous year, re-located to UK permanently. Kate was eternally grateful for this decision as she wanted her mother close by in her twilight years.

"Caroline, how are you feeling about the girls going?"

There was an almost dismissive wave of the hand; "Oh you know, they'll be fine; it has to happen we know that. We did it, the boys did it." Kate was not convinced that she was as blasé about it as she tried to pretend. Her wife had been besotted with her daughters from the moment they were born and for a third time mother, was incredibly vulnerable and protective of them.

"Well I'll certainly miss them, the silence might be lovely out here, in the garden in the calmness, but the house feels empty."

"I'm pleased Grace decided to take up Will and Roxy's offer and live with them. The kids will love having their aunty there and you know she'll be expected to pitch in and help."

"I'm glad too, she's somehow less independent than Flora and this is a good way to ease her out of home."

Each girl had come to their mothers individually when it was time to apply for university places. They were unsure how to tell the other that they wanted to go to different places. They had developed more separate lives as they got older but were still very close. Flora had her friends and Grace hers. Kate and Caroline always encouraged them to bring people home and to have sleepovers. Since the hurt of Flis's parents, there hadn't been even a slight suggestion of any other families treating them unkindly. Both of them had managed several boyfriends along the way, but nothing serious as they were very focussed on getting where they wanted to go.

Caroline had opened a discussion with them once about wanting them to explore their sexuality and be sure of who they were. Grace had countered; "Ma it's not an issue for either of us. We know that you'll be on-side however that turns out."

As Caroline took a sip of wine, her phone rang. "Hello Will, what's up?"

"Mum, Grace has gone out. She just got her coat on and said she wouldn't be late and left."

"Gone out! Where?"

"We don't know." Caroline relayed this message to Kate, who smiled. "Give me the phone." She took it away from a very concerned Caroline. "Hi Will. Now listen, you are not to worry; think of it this way, if Grace had gone to College to live, like Flora, you'd have no idea what she was doing at seven thirty on a Sunday evening, would you?"

"No I suppose not."

"Well Grace is just laying down the fact that she ought to be able to come and go as she pleases; like her sister. She's probably gone to meet friends she met at 'O week'. If you start worrying on day one and ringing your mother, you know you'll make her crazy."

Caroline opened her mouth to protest but shut it again as she knew deep down that Kate was right. After a little more gentle coaxing, Will hung up.

"Caroline, my darling, it's time to let go now."

A long silence followed, both women lost in their own thoughts.

"Kate."

"Yes."

"Do you realise, we could go into the house now, be completely naked, make love wherever we please, and make as much noise as we want?"

"That sounds very enticing." Kate wove her fingers though her wife's.

Another long silence; the urgency was missing and the prospect dulled for both of them as the emptiness took over.

Kate stared into the distance increasing the grip on Caroline's fingers "I love you so very much."

"I know."


End file.
